What can you not say?

[Meowsmol]

My child is biological female but wants to be male but wants to wear lolita clothes. My head hurts.they have autism.
My dh ( other thread) is really frustrating me atm.
Dd can't find a job won't do customer service or care work.

That sounds very counterintuitive to me.

Your daughter claims to be a boy, but she wants to wear overtly sexualised clothing.
Usually, gender non conforming girls wear ‘boyish’ clothes.

I’d ask MN to move your post to the LGBT parents group.
You’ll get some good advice there.