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Original poster

Do you ever wondered about your uni boyfriend?

88 replies

Meowsmol · 31/05/2025 20:30

I was watching something on tv that made me think about my first uni boyfriend. Also dd is going to uni next year.
I know roughly where he is and he never married or had children. But I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn't split up. I dumped him after 2 1/2 years. Then went abroad. He went on to do MA and PhD.
I'd have a very different life if I'd stayed.
Anyone else?

OP posts:
NotMyRealAccount · 31/05/2025 23:11

I'm mildly curious, but I don't give him a lot of thought. It's been nearly 40 years. He wasn't very nice and I should probably have tossed him back straight after our first date. I do occasionally wonder why, with so many nice uncomplicated boys in my orbit, I kept going back to him until we were separated by graduation. Last I heard, he'd moved to Australia.

Catsandcannedbeans · 31/05/2025 23:25

I am married to the man I was with when I was at uni, but the boyfriend I lost my virginity to became deeply religious after we split up and still is by all accounts. I don’t know what that says about me? My other two ex’s weren’t very nice men and the relationships were short but they both went bald after we split remarkably quickly, one of them had an awful comb over which I find very vindicating.

DorothyStorm · 31/05/2025 23:31

my main bf from when I was at uni keeps trying to add me on social media.he is married (last few years) with children… 🤔

Another main one has been travelling the world for the past 15 years and mainly lives in europe. I do have him on social media. His life is very interesting. Mine is very boring in comparison but I would not have enjoyed the instability if his, which he clearly thrives in.

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gollyimholly · 31/05/2025 23:38

For me it's been 10 years since we broke up and I do think about him from time to time. He was 11 years older than me (the very much older guy from my weekend job while I was at uni). He groomed me essentially, there was rape, racism, he would say things like how he wanted to set fire to mosques (I am Muslim). He was a stoner and a "struggling musician" and we were together nearly five years - I think he was 36 when I eventually broke up. I am so so glad I got out of it but it's certainly impacted me... He was so charismatic and popular at work and I still feel like shouting from the rooftops what a hideous man he truly is. I know that he remains unmarried and childless whereas I am quite happily married with a toddler and a second on the way and sometimes I wish he could see how far I've come and how well I'm doing because he always made me feel life would be awful without him. My very wonderful DH is so far from what a bum this guy is and I can't believe I let myself stay in that relationship for as long as I did.

Tortielady · 31/05/2025 23:58

He came out and settled down on the south coast (where he was from originally) with his partner. The last I heard, they were still together and doing well. I hope it's still the case.

spiderlight · 01/06/2025 00:32

Still good friends with mine. We separated amicably when we started PhDs at opposite ends of the country, and then he moved overseas, but we still chat regularly and meet up whenever he's in the UK.

Octopusespunchforfun · 01/06/2025 00:35

Dearover · 31/05/2025 20:36

Reader, I married him. Nothing to wonder about there

Me too ☺️

SnowFrogJelly · 01/06/2025 00:41

Still meet up with mine in group of friends

ViciousCurrentBun · 01/06/2025 01:15

I looked around a decade ago. He was and I assume still is a patent lawyer with his own firm. I was glad he looked like he was doing well. Didn’t contact him obviously. A friend and I had a let’s look for our ex boyfriends while the kids were playing session. We broke up over 30 years ago.

Topseyt123 · 01/06/2025 01:24

I married him. 32 years ago now. Still together and with three grown up DDs aged 30, 26 and 23.

hereismydog · 01/06/2025 01:45

I graduated 11 years ago and haven’t seen or heard anything of the guy I dated in the first few months of uni!

I would be absolutely mortified to bump into him now and have the “so, how is life?” chat as I’d have to explain that I now have a DS who shares his (uncommon-ish) name whilst trying desperately to reassure him that he was categorically not named after him Grin

LaLaLaLavaChChChChicken · 01/06/2025 01:48

One has no internet presence at all. Nothing. Unsual name too, not one you’d change, just would be easy to find (in theory). Just had another look and still nothing. Odd as he’d be mid 40s so the age to have some digital footprint.

The other is a Headteacher 🤣 He was a pothead. Didn’t last very long as he was dabbling in other drugs too. He seems successful, married. No kids. Pleased for him as his life could’ve crashed with drug use.

Arsehooooole · 01/06/2025 01:59

No, because I didn't have one 😀

Passwordsaremynemesis · 01/06/2025 02:10

High school boyfriend is still living in the same house in the same town with the same friends. Which is odd because for the three years we dated he always said he hated everything about the place and couldn’t wait to get out. First uni boyfriend was gorgeous and in a band, he is now an evangelical Christian who has given up all worldly goods to spread the gospel with his wife and kids. Second uni boyfriend narrowly escaped jail for fraud a few years ago, think he has at least four kids. Thank god I dumped all of them, I clearly had terrible taste in men back then! I’ve been married almost thirty years and live on the other side of the world, so not likely to bump into any of them.

JustAMum31 · 01/06/2025 06:00

I only had 1 high school boyfriend and 1 uni boyfriend before meeting DH. Both were from my hometown (where I now live again) and still have family here so I see them occasionally and still have them on social media.

High School bf - he met his 1st wife because I broke up with him 😅 she was his “shoulder to cry on” at college. She was pregnant within a year and then they married and had more kids. Perfect little family…until he cheated with a work colleague and got her pregnant.

He’s now married to the colleague with more children. Also has full custody of first kids.

Uni bf - My “life ruiner” 😅 We were “friends with benefits”, dating other people, casual relationship, committed relationship and everything in between over the years 🙈 God I adored him. He had this way of looking at me that just made me melt 🙈 I’d have done anything! But the thought of him terrified me. I knew I liked him too much and I hated that he had the power to absolutely destroy me if he left me (and I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t) - so I finished with him instead. I hated feeling so vulnerable when I didn’t actually trust him.

Met DH 2 months later. Ex spent a year trying to get me back. Then got a 1 night stand pregnant.
Ex is now married and they have a blended family of 3 kids from previous relationships.
If I’d married him I’d have been a military wife which I would have hated.
I bump into him every so often when he visits family in our hometown and he still gives me that look which makes me feel 19 again 🙈😅

SweetDarling · 01/06/2025 06:32

We are still together. We met in our first few weeks at uni 25 ish years ago, got on really well, had a lot of fun, fell in love and have never looked back.

2 of my uni friends, who are 2 of my closest friends still today, also met their partners/husbands there. 2 others that are in our close friendship group, dated each other when at uni, although only for a couple of years, and they’re now both in relationships with other people, but we’re all still really close.

garlictwist · 01/06/2025 06:34

Mine married the woman he dumped me for and had two kids. I was devastated at the time but now can see it was the right thing. I occasionally stalk him (and others) out of interest.

FannyBawz · 01/06/2025 06:35

Mine got done for domestic violence and breaching a restraining order. They’re still together so probably quite a toxic situation. He never married or had kids - I’m very happy with my family and glad I took a different path tbh

SapporoBaby · 01/06/2025 13:06

Sometimes but then I look over to my right and see him snoring on my couch because I married him. Wouldn’t change a thing.

Runnersandtoms · 01/06/2025 13:09

Not uni but I recently FB friended my first boyfriend (16-18). I was happy to see he is married with two kids. He was a nice guy just not the right one for me.

Dearg · 01/06/2025 13:19

My school boyfriend did very well for himself - senior partner in London law firm wife/ kids. He was a lovely guy, we just met too young.

My Uni boyfriend, whom I dumped, also did very well for himself at VP level in the US. Also married with dc. My parents loved him, but sadly I did not.

It did seem for a while that everyone blossomed without me 🤔, but DH is doing fine despite being my partner of 40+ years

GameOfJones · 01/06/2025 13:23

Bluevelvetsofa · 31/05/2025 20:40

He went to America. He properly got away.

So did mine. But he was a serial cheater so maybe we had the same one.....😂😂😂

KawasakiBabe · 01/06/2025 13:30

Mine married the girl he was seeing behind my back, not really an issue at the time as we weren’t super serious. I’m now friends with his wife on fb, she added me a few years ago. She must be way more bothered about me than I am with her. I live in a different country, so hardly likely to bump into him.

Girasoli · 01/06/2025 13:32

I married mine, still very happy 17odd years later.

I do wonder what my uni course mates are doing though...all of DHs seem to have settled in the home counties with DC so we occasionally see them, but mine are spread all over the world now (I studied international relations).

Thegreenandpurpleone · 01/06/2025 13:34

Met my uni BF at the end of high school. He cheated on me and married the girl he cheated with. I think they’re still together. It was an awful time when they were having the affair. Ultimately it was best we broke up, we’d never have lasted after uni, but I wish it hadn’t happened that way.