Do you ever wondered about your uni boyfriend?

[Meowsmol]

I was watching something on tv that made me think about my first uni boyfriend. Also dd is going to uni next year.
I know roughly where he is and he never married or had children. But I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn't split up. I dumped him after 2 1/2 years. Then went abroad. He went on to do MA and PhD.
I'd have a very different life if I'd stayed.
Anyone else?

Mine married on the same day as me which was very coincidental. We split as I left uni and went back and forth a bit in our 20s but hadn’t spoken to each other for few years by the time we both got married. The relationship wasn’t always very up and down though so I can’t imagine we’d ever have ended up together.

I often wonder how often exes think about me. Do they still have old photos and letters or have they been unceremoniously binned? Some might have been the best photos of me in my prime and I don't have them 😀

Ha no because I met dh in first year and it’s our 20th anniversary this week . Ds has just finished first year at Uni and it’s freaking me out realising how young we were!!

I facebook stalk old friends and boyfriends. First uni boyfriend was emotionally abusive and nasty. I dumped him. He eventually married and moved away. He lies about his qualifications on his website and his wife is likely the brains and competence in their business partnership. I hope he treats her better than he treated me and subsequent girlfriends, but I doubt it.

Other serious uni boyfriend was lovely but in the end we just weren't right for each other. He's now married to an impressive woman who is clearly exactly right for him, two kids and working in an industry that he loves. I'm really pleased for him.

Not really. But I do think about some of the nice guys I turned down back in the day while I was fawning over idiots!

I married mine too, so nothing to wonder about!

I had a long term boyfriend at school. We stayed friends for a while afterwards but then he went a bit weird. I saw him standing outside my local train station about 6m ago, which freaked me out a bit. (I live nearish where I grew up, so him being there wasn't that weird, I just really didn't want to make polite small talk after 15-20 years)

Not uni, we got together when I was 21 so just at the end. I’ve also been thinking about it a lot lately as I was informed by a mutual friend that he died by suicide earlier this year. I hope that he was far happier than we would ever have been but evidently he had his demons. Very glad we didn’t stay together (not because of this particularly, we were just awful for each other).

I married mine too

He got in touch last year. Split with wife. Moved in with woman half his age and was sending me flirty messages online after not speaking for decades. Yuck.

I bumped into his sister in a small town miles away from where we went to uni and either of the places we both grew up. A very surreal moment.

Married him while still in uni. I know exactly what he's up to.

Occasionally stalk people from the past. Love it! Haha

i was with mine 18 months. It did not end well, I posted the ring back to him and had to change my number through the police help as was getting 100 calls a day (20 years ago!)
i think of him everytime there’s word of a psychopath/ dramatics in Manchester area and wonder if it’ll be him on the news! 🙈
I now make better life choices!

God knows. He was very dull. Then I had a bad boy for a few years then met Dh thank god.

I was on and off with my uni boyfriend for years after we graduated. We were too young immature when we met and have never lived in the same city / country for the entire time we’ve known each other so it was always complicated. I’m English, he’s Norwegian, we met in France (both studying there but in different cities) and then spent a decade meeting for snatched weekends in various countries around the world as he travelled a LOT for work (literally from a year in Chechnya to months in Kansas City) but somehow we were always drawn back together. Years later I found out from a mutual friend that he was hurt that I’d ‘played it cool’ with him and I admit that I did try to keep my distance because I knew he had too much power over me and would eventually break my heart. I wanted a high-flying career and he wanted a more traditional relationship where he had the ‘big job’ and I was less ambitious. That just wasn’t me and deep down we both knew it.

He lives in Switzerland now and is married with 3 kids. He’s a millionaire many times over and definitely has the ‘big job’ and flies around the world on his boss’s private plane for business. Whereas I’m in London (after living in Asia for a few years) and earn 6 figures working in the City. So I guess we both got what we wanted.

I have happy memories. Being young and living in Paris and in love with the most gorgeous and incredible man that I adored, there are worse ways to start your twenties. 😍

@PollyCreo how did his life turn out that had made him so bitter??

Mine works for the UN now, which is what he always wanted to do. He has also published a book. I'm happy for him. Still connected on LinkedIn and Facebook.
Ours was a cross-cultural relationship that was frankly doomed from the start. We met on a masters course that attracted a lot of international students. When we broke up it was like a nuclear bomb went off in my life. I thought i would never love someone so much again.
With the benefit of hindsight, the day he dumped me was not a tragedy. It was liberation day (for me). I feel slightly sick when I look back and think about how much I was willing to sacrifice for him.
He was incredibly smart, incisive and well-read, and we had such great conversations. And he was drop dead gorgeous. But he was also extremely self-focused, probably cheated on me at least once and was lacking in empathy. I would have been signing myself up for a life of emotional neglect and always being in his shadow. I would never have achieved the things I have in my life, or found my voice, if we were still together.
I genuinely wish him well though and I'm quite curious to follow his career from afar but also I hope I never see him again as long as I live.

@HundredMilesAnHour did he get that job through what he knew or who he knew?

My "uni boyfriend" is next to me in bed! 30 years after graduation we are still together.

I had 2 kids with mine 😆

split up with him years ago and don’t have a lot to do with him now

One came out as gay and was ordained as a priest. Another became a doctor and was struck off the medical register.

I have no regrets. Part of the reason (although there were many others) we split up was because I realised he was going to be an student for the next decade, not get married or have children until after that, and probably live in his hometown forever.

What happened was he got together with his now wife shortly after we split, lived with his parents whilst doing an MA and then a PhD and then just married her now after 15 years. So he basically carried on with exactly the same routine for 15 years after we split.

Maybe that's what she wanted to, I don't know anything about her but I did not want to wait until my mid-30s for my OH to complete his studies and get married or have kids.

Thinking about it and factoring in fertility issues, I would have probably ended up sacrificing the thing I always wanted the most, becoming a mother, if I'd waited around for him.

And he would never just SAY what his plans were, he would um and ah and say he wasn't sure what he was going to do and I just had to hang around and hope we were moving in the same direction. I feel exhausted just thinking about what a drain that relationship was, my Mum said to me it was like watching me pushing a monolith up a hill because he dragged his feet over everything.

I do wonder, he was my first love and the break up was devastating to us both. I hope he's found happiness.

I think if we'd got married though we wouldn't have been happy either unfortunately.

I hope I never cross paths with mine ever again electronically or in real life and that he has treated any subsequent partners better than me. I avoid liking my uni's posts on LinkedIn after seeing him like one, I do not want to be found. The other one was just a twat and I don't care what happened to him.

Split with mine as I was young and wanted to travel. Eight years later he went travelling and now lives very far away in another country with a family. Has a nice partner who I met at an event for a mutual friend.