We earn £345k, but soaring private school fees mean we can’t go on five holidays

[Kugelblitz]

Can’t link but a headline post in the Telegraph. The trolling is desperate surely ?

I wouldn’t feel sorry for the poster. Well done to you, but being from the background that you are, I’m sure you will be aware that making the sort of ‘progress’ you have is relatively rare and that there are systemic reasons for that. To unpick why, in your particular case, it was possible, would be complex and, from a distance, not possible. Nonetheless, there is an overwhelming amount of well-accepted evidence that hard work alone is often not enough and socioeconomic inequalities are often ‘baked in’. When discussing this, it’s important not to become overly focused on exceptions like yourself (and again, well done) but on the reasons why the majority who find themselves in challenging circumstances do not follow that pathway of the exception but of the rule.

Well a quick Google also shows 17%, so I guess we are nearer 20%…In any event, 80% is a big number of a well paid profession…you were implying that I was the exception…

It’s interesting that you are angry about me bringing your children into but think it’s fine to abolish one of my DC’s schools…

I really feel for them 😪. How are they gonna manage with less than 5 holidays a year 😭. I find it very easy myself, my holidays are usually spent in Windowsill Bay 😄🤣

I didn’t say that I feel sorry for the poster, I feel sorry for her DC. As I do for all DC whose parent’s prejudices risk holding them back in life. And no, I don’t think it’s rare. My cousin earns far more than me, same background. I live in a street of ten pretty expensive houses where most of my neighbours use or have used private school but only one parent went to private school themselves. Most of them are like me (first generation to attend uni) or my husband (built a business from scratch). Same at the private school that my one of DC attends. In fact, some of the wealthiest parents at the school are trades people who started their own businesses. Whereas, the parents at my other DC’s state grammar tend to be more middle class professionals.

Yes, because my mam taught me to aim for the stars, she didn’t make me believe that my background would hamper me. You seem to have that belief…you need to be very careful that you don’t pass it on to your children.

Exactly. Some people try to find a way, others find an excuse.

While others just ignore the facts

Unless you also confiscate all property and money your idea of a more equitable society is unrealistic. The fact is that the increase in employer’s NI without increasing school budgets is already leading to the cutting of subjects and teachers. That means less education and skills and the ever increasing inability to compete with nations who are not so short sighted.

The idea of a more equitable society is unrealistic? Sorry? The prospect of a totally equitable society then yes, I'd agree, but if you are saying that the current level of inequality is as good as it is going to get, then how do you explain the fact that our society was actually more equitable (in terms of wealth anyway) in the past than it is now?

how does it help your child for there to be even more SEND children in state schools with resources spread more thinly?

This is ALWAYS the argument for a two-tier system: people paying for privilege are actually doing poor people a favour by leaving state services for them. It's such bollocks. Far better to have a system that everyone is invested in, then it would be better funded and resourced and you wouldn't have private schools creaming off staff etc.

I would happily get rid of private schools entirely.

Quite agree, @OnlyDespairRemains. Recent studies of privilege show that it's rooted in an elite group of private schools. Not only do they embed privilege but their impact on society is devastating – you only have to look at Eton's output to see that. The idea that we have any sort of meritocracy is a joke.

What you do is make state schools so good that no one wants to use the private schools…you don’t implement policies that close the schools picking up the slack to make the position even worse in state schools. Eton is not impacted by this policy…but small private schools with a high number of pupils with SEND are. One that I know of personally which is closing has around 30 kids whose fees were being paid by the local authority. Do you think the local authority would be doing that if they could accommodate them easily in local state schools?

It's the right link but the article was taken down.

‘What you do is make state schools so good that no one wants to use the private schools.’

That’s what the post-1945 Labour government thought, so they didn’t bother abolishing private schools. What they failed to take into account is that people send their children to private schools for access to privilege, not because they’re on a quest for a good school. Someone I knew openly admitted that he sent his kids to private school so they would have wealthy friends and wouldn’t have to mix with the hoi polloi.

What you do is make state schools so good that no one wants to use the private schools…

That doesn't account for human nature. You could have the best state schools in the world but some will want exclusivity regardless.

You mean 'some people' send it for networking. Not all. Our very small independent was chosen because they had over 30% SEN and excellent SEN pastoral care. At his state primary school the head teacher said to us ; 'You have to admit, he's just weird'. She then realised she had said that out loud and went red and mumbled a bit. When we toured high schools the best one in our catchment literally had children sitting on the floor in the cloakroom to do lessons because they were so oversubscribed and we were told by their SENCO that the school really would not be able to cope with his needs. She also admitted that she was 'not allowed to tell parents that'. For us it was a choice of moving house to be in a better catchment (risky) or trying our private to see what it was like. It's been great. Believe me, I'd rather not have to spend the amount we do on fees - it would be amazing and just this week DH and I were having a bit of a day dream about everything we could do with that money when we don't have to pay fees anymore. But for us it was the right decision.

I always think that the people who say it's all about access to privilege do not have a great deal of knowledge about the hundreds of small little independents and what they do and offer and why people choose them. I'm not naïve enough to think there are not people who want that access (although if they do, they may not be at our school which does not have a high profile or elitist image) but it's simply not true that it's only snobby or social climbing parents who make that choice. For every family the choice will be individual.

The sarcasm has eluded you.

I’m autistic. I struggle with sarcasm. So is my youngest son, which is one of the reasons he is in private school. My large state comp was completely unsuitable for my needs and drove me to a suicide attempt. Whilst I can afford to continue paying my son’s fees even with the increase, I am acutely aware that is not the case for all parents whose DC were failed by the state system. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about state schools or state school pupils (my oldest is actually in a state school). I want state schools to be improved but shutting loads of small independents who have a high percentage of SEND pupils is not the answer.

Listened to The Rest is Entertainment this morning and they covered this. Apparently the whole
thing is fake- it’s a stock photo and this family does not exist- and the article written by AI (with the dad being called Al, the wife Allie, the daughter also Allie, the son Harry, the dog Barry)

The article has been taken down now so can’t check any of this. Is there any way to see a cached copy?

Here it is www.msn.com/en-gb/money/other/we-earn-345k-but-soaring-private-school-fees-mean-we-can-t-go-on-five-holidays/ar-AA1FqZ3R?ocid=finance-verthp-feeds

https://rqipartners.com/resources/blog/the-importance-of-cpr-skills-for-parents/ Same photo.

Al, Alexandra, Ali, sons Harry and Barry.

Why would the paper (knowingly )? publish a complete fiction?

My guess is that the editor of the money section of the Torygraph is so tied up with their paper's agenda (or possibly just really really thick 🤣) that they didn't spot that this was obviously a spoof

Someone I know commented on this article when it was published saying it was clearly AI generated/a spoof, just look at the names! They said within seconds the ability to comment was removed then the whole article taken down. DT caught out on this occasion but not before it generated lots of outrage.

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats @fussychica heaven help us when AI etc gets more sophisticated & something more alarming slips through net .