I've just spent a few days at new man's parents' house

[Curlybook]

They've been lovely, nothing too much trouble and the house is beautiful, spotless, but soo uncomfortable.

Nothing is there to be nice to use. The beds are nice looking wooden frames with saggy mattresses, the sofa has wooden arms and is impossible to sit on unless you sit up straight, even garden furniture has no cushions and the shower doesn't have a handheld bit so is awkward to use.

I've come home to my slightly shabby and untidy house glad to be able to curl up on the sofa.

Do you think they find it uncomfortable too?

Judging by the large quantities of the stuff in the supermarkets, a great many people do buy spread. Spreadable butter too, which has vegetable oil in it. Block butter seems to be a minority purchase now. It's also eye-wateringly expensive, as is extra virgin olive oil.

I much prefer Stork for baking. I know people go on about butter for baking but I would defy you to be able to tell I had used Stork in my delicious cakes and crumbles.

I don’t know anyone that can speak mandarin

doesn’t mean there aren’t millions even billions of people that can speak mandarin!

Ahh I love this😍 indoor gold heels, I might get a pair !!

I recently stayed in dd2's house with dd3 as dd3 had something on in that town and dd2 was on holiday. It was really weird being in someone else's house without them being there (dd2 had only moved in 2 months earlier). The weirdest thing was they didn't have any ketchup! They have dc too.
Also they'd had the whole house renovated which had taken over a year and everything was beautiful but I was still really glad to get back to my very shabby home. Their beds though were incredibly comfortable, the curtains were completely blackout and you couldn't hear the traffic on the busy road outside with their triple glazing.

@RedRosesAndGypsophelia ageing mattresses because they paid £500 in 1980

OMG, I think I've been outed 😂

How could they??? 😉

@YYYDlilah thoughts and prayers. My MIL was a massive fan of Elmlea, Flora and Stork and did her utmost to spread the gospel [badum tish].

We found a happy compromise in creme fraiche.

@Curlybook You're never going to be as comfortable as in your own home.

Your partner's parents' home is set up for their needs, either that or their finances don't stretch far enough to buy furniture other than what they have. Reality check, if they're on a fixed income ie pensions, then they will prioritise things other than comfy furniture for their guests who visit once in a blue moon,

It's what Travelodges are made for.

Another one who has in-laws with a spectacularly uncomfortable and very old mattress here. It’s like sleeping on a sack of potatoes. When they stop at ours they marvel at how comfortable our spare is yet don’t seem to be able to comprehend how bad theirs must be.

Portion size is the killer for me though. I was brought up with a table groaning with food and always enough to feed double the number people invited just in case someone (and their entire family) happens to pop in. In-laws have 6 people share a miniature sized chicken for Sunday lunch. FIL doesn’t eat leftovers so I understand their reasoning for never having an excess but I’m politely getting two wings as my meat to leave enough for everyone else. One small chicken does not feed 6 whether it’s a Mumsnet chicken or not.

That's another thing, I hate staying places with blackout curtains, ok if you can leave them partly open but then there might be privacy issues. But I understand that a lot of people prefer them.

Apologies - going off tangent. Not in laws but ex and I were invited to spend a weekend at his friend's country abode which was made to sound like a Mansion - "we usually take Tea in the Summerhouse" malarkey. There was a lot of underlying passive aggression between friend and wife e.g "Thank you darling, that was a lovely dinner" - "what are you talking about, we always have three courses" spat out between clenched teeth response. Re food; 3 course bland dinner involved minuscule portions and 'pudding' was anointed with Elmlea! 'Supper' was offered to their child and my tummy may have had a Pavlovian response but it was a bowl of Weetabix. I was also told off at breakfast because I ate my toast crusts; they should have been given to the salivating, farty, overweight Lab. I knew he was dribbly and farty because we'd spent the night in his Daybed i.e the Spare Room. Another highlight was that we were directed to the garage to shower - weird (portable?), cabinet thing like in Daisy May Cooper's "Am I being Unreasonable?" Stalker's room. It was made very clear that I was allowed one shower in the morning when I mentioned I usually had an evening one too.

Why? It’s horrible fake cream made of oils and emulsifiers 🤮 I’ve got a friend who buys it because she thinks it is a branded, and therefore superior version of fresh cream.

My husband's family are all autistic. When they move into a new house they decorate. Then they never, ever decorate again. His parents moved into a bungalow in 1984 ( they're both long dead now). They had it built for them and , because they lived in a 70s house before that ( serving hatch between kitchen and dining room, peach bathroom suite, avocado bathroom suite) they had it all recreated in their 80s new build. They decorated when they moved in and , when FIL died in 2017 it was exactly the same. My husband is one of 5. They are all much older than him and bought houses in the 70s. They still live in the same houses and have never changed anything since the first time they decorated. They go for the upright chairs and lots of very, very brown furniture. They have no interest in comfort or how things look or changing styles. " I need a chair to sit on and that's a chair so that'll do the job". They have the same attitude to clothes, hair , personal presentation too.

Oh god this is dh. I switch off he switches on. Even on a bright summer day. Then he wonders about electricity bill.

@Pyjamatimenow greek also and have at times had comments on amount of food offered. There always has to be copious amounts of left overs to cater for those who may turn up unexpectedly 😂

Surely, this is the crux of it? They're kind people who welcomed you into their home. A little bit of discomfort is neither here nor there, and the shower complaint sounds very petty.
Think about the bigger picture here.

The first time we stayed at my SILs house the subject of flannels came up. " Oh well they don't need washing because they get washed in the shower every day ".😳 The flannel lived in one of those little alcove spaces that 70s bathrooms had so you could create a sludgy mess of soap and goop when you washed.The absolutely revolting wet, grey flannel lived in one all of its own.

Well that's it - lock them away and throw away the key🤣

Extraordinary. I can only imagine that some people's lives are very privileged, never to have experienced any discomfort, or a different way of living. I'm imagining that they've never travelled anywhere.

My mother is 95 and just has an old deckchair she gets in and out of in the garden....I mean, no arm rests, nothing! Plus it's so low! I suppose she's lucky she still can, but she eschews the beautiful padded garden lounger I got her last year, Victorian, indeed...

Oh! And the pillows! We take our own, they must date from the 60s, atrocious things.

When I go to my DD, she has a huge l shaped sofa,it is so deep,if I have my back against the sofa back,my legs are half way over the seat, it's really uncomfortable, and I always get back ache, so I perch on the edge.. can't believe someone was horrified they didn't get a starter or napkin! I was brought up in the 50s normal size portions,on visiting (ex) mil, I couldn't believe it, huge portions, complaining if you didn't eat them,a huge multi pack of crisps coming round and hour later, then sandwiches, THEN the foggy bag to take home. She always had leather sofas,so I had to dress accordingly. In winter they were cold and hard, couldn't wear shorts in the summer,my legs stuck to them!

Both our parents houses were similar. When my dmum moved several hours away I personally chose the sofa bed so it was comfortable!
In contrast in our house both spare rooms have really decent beds, with good mattresses.

They sound refreshingly straightforward!

Well it's obviously how they like to live and they sound lovely, so perhaps it would be nice to respect that's how they feel comfortable.

When I was a teenager visiting my boyfriend (who subsequently became husband #1) I stopped for Sunday dinner and was surprised when the Yorkshire pud was served up with gravy before the meal. Our plates were then gathered back in, rest of dinner dished up and plates given back out. I couldn't work out if MIL was checking we got our own plates back and I felt a bit ick. When they served new potatoes, a side plate would be placed centrally on the dinner table and they would all commence peeling the new potatoes with their knives and put the peelings on the plate. They looked at me agog when I ate the potatoes skin and all. Nowt so queer as folk.