Surely every school isn't like this?

[SchoolIssues25]

I supervised a school disco as a favour at my 7 year old child's school. The school does have issues although has a good ofsted. Ideally I would like to move him but he's happy there.
I was shocked when supervising. I know kids aren't perfect as they're kids but ffs. Kids were pushing, spitting, one lad lay on top of another so he went red and had to be pulled off more or less. The kids were so rough. I was shocked. Surely this isn't normal ?

I supervised at a disco for same age about 7 years ago. The boys were lovely. Danced, slid along the floor on both knees, over drank squash. Just had fun.

What a crock of shit. Boys need plenty of physical activity but it's called sport not beating the shit out of each other.

As for this beig normal behaviour at a disco. OP I have plenty of experience with that age and school discos and I have never experienced anything like what you describe. It would simply not be tolerated. As for posts here suggesting it's normal, it's not. Stop excusing this shit and do something about it. This type of behaviour has never been acceptable, would not be accepted in public, so be the adult and stop excusing it, start helping change it.

@abs12 The op didn’t excuse it. She was shocked. As I would be.

This thread is interesting. We have rough behaviour of boys seen as normal. My DC are now early 30s and I just didn’t see this behaviour at school and neither would it have been tolerated. Nor would any mother of a boy have seen it as ok. The active boys were introduced to sport and they were expected to behave well. Certainly no shortage of boys at discos getting rid of their energy. But it was fun and not fighting. Why have families become so tolerant of bad behaviour and keep excusing it? Boys are not being taught anything. It’s simply not good enough.

Apologies, I meant I'm with OP. I'd be shocked too. I'm asking other parents to stop normalising it and making excuses for it. No-one ever said parenting was easy but we're the adults. We have to call out that type of behaviour and put a stop to it.

Sport isn't enough. Children need free, unstructured active group play. The behaviour we're seeing is in large part due to children having insufficient opportunities to hone their social skills, self-regulation and sense of empathy in unstructured situations.

@CrispieCake Nothing wrong with “playing” without adults continually supervising and playing without rules, but there are lines dc cannot cross. Violent play is not ok just isn’t acceptable.

Running around, kicking a ball, riding bikes and interacting in invented games is fine but learning by hurting others has to be controlled and not often repeated. I remember speaking to a head who was concerned about a child who was not responding to the hurt he’d caused to other dc. No remorse or empathy. So what was being learnt? It’s just not ok to think dc can pile in hitting and hurting other dc as a learning exercise and reducing violence to the equivalent of physical banter. Parents need to recognise when the child is not learning and isn’t regulating behaviour, and then definitely take action to be much clearer about behaviour that is acceptable.

Where did I say violence is acceptable, @TizerorFizz? Unstructured play does not mean no boundaries or rules, it means child-directed play. The huge benefit comes from children learning and discovering the boundaries themselves in a way they don't in structured scenarios like sport. They can let off steam and follow their own interests, push themselves and run a little wild, but no, unstructured play does not mean a violent free-for-all.

Behaviour would dramatically improve if parents and schools committed to giving children a certain number of hours of active, unstructured, group play a week, instead of too often cutting playtime short. But schools don't have the resources or time and parents are often stretched for time too, and what's the result? A pressure-cooker situation with limited opportunities to let off steam, combined with insufficiently-enforced boundaries, which means kids go feral whenever they get the opportunity.

Useless to talk about discipline if children's needs aren't first being met. It's only ever going to be crowd control in that situation.

And before anyone accuses me of being a 'wet lettuce" parent, I am extremely good at crowd control. I have run and helped with enough school trips, parties and playdates that I know exactly how to get small children to comply will instructions. My own child knows that if he crosses the line, I will squish him without compunction.

It's not normal, but expecting a bunch of 7 year old to act like mini grown ups seems a bit ambitious and naive.

Who thought a disco would be a good idea? We it really party games with music?

Is lqrgely is the parents that are different. As many now would still take their kid so they dont miss out even if the kid hates it and acts up.
Also school fayres and discos are often at a time kids woll naturally play up so either after a long school day etc.

If the boys dont like to disco dont sent them its not compulsory..
And if boys are getting enough free play them organise meet ups at the parks etc .
I would say here its the opposite locally many boys are out all day at the park and its spreading the poor behaviour among them and to younger kids then at school.
Obviously they all have phones so likely showing each other stuff too.

@CrispieCakeThe oP is talking about behaviour at a disco. Of course dc need to use their imaginations and play but it’s when this repeatedly oversteps the behaviour norms and that’s deemed ok by parents, there is an issue for dc snd schools. You describe a perfect world. Unfortunately lots of parents don’t supervise and don’t correct bad behaviour and excuse it as boys being boys.