"I only like my own kids"

[tortoisewoman]

I've heard quite a few people, both in real life and on Mumsnet, say they don't like spending time with other people's children, only their own, with the general consensus being that kids are annoying, snotty, boring, etc. and only tolerable if they're your own. Since I don't personally feel this way about children, I don't understand why someone would have kids if they feel this way about children.

If you're the kind of person who says they don't like other people's children, have you always felt that way? If so, how did you decide to have children? If not, why did your opinion change? No judgement, just curiosity.

I say that and I mean it. Ive always been like this. I hate the summer time when it’s non stop screaming kids. Drives me mad

I’m not small child friendly. I don’t have a maternal bone in my body and I don’t see the appeal of children at all. I knew, even when I was a kid, that I’d never have or want my own children.

I imagine in a lot of people though, that hormones override once they get into their twenties and thirties. Or, people get pregnant ‘by accident’ and then just decide to give it a go.

I think many are indifferent to other people's children or find many of them annoying.
My children are now teenagers so I've known many children over the years. I'd say I'm very fond of my nieces and nephews. I'm also very fond of some of my children's friends that I've known for years. I have a real soft spot for some of them. Lovely kids! I'm not keen or indifferent to other friends of my children.
I think I'm indifferent to most of my friends' children but that's probably because I don't know them so well (and some are a little annoying).

I'm not keen on a lot of other kids. Even my own I've found very hard at times.

I think it's something people say on Mumsnet to sound cool and probably not reflective of their real-life attitude.

I discovered I didn’t like other people’s children after I had my own. It’s other people’s parenting actually.

I struggled to relate to other children as a child and my life improved enormously as I went through my teens. I found children messy, loud and unpredictable. When friends and colleagues handed me their babies to hold they would always cry so I assumed babies hated me.

At 30 I started to get intensely broody. Had my first DC at 33 after 10 years of marriage. Then a second baby to keep DC1 company. I’m a fantastic parent of my own children but still not keen on other people’s. I know I can steer the behaviour of my own children. Mine are teenagers now and I much prefer them having friends over now. I can relate to grumpy goth/emo teens who just want pizza and coke thrown at them. I’m a cool mum apparently.

Really not keen on other people's.

Children are generally annoying. I knew that through the magic of hormones I would love my own.

It’s a weird and short-sighted attitude, only to like one’s own children.
I work in Education though, and would be screwed if I didn’t like or understand kids.

I’m like that.

I adore my children but I’m indifferent about other children. I make the efforts to ask about friends children and I am super nice to them, but I have to force it.

I’ve never held a baby that isn’t one of my own - I have absolutely no interest, never have done.

I’m same with dogs and cats to though to be fair. Love mine, don’t want anyone else’s near me.

See also, other people’s husbands. No claire, I can’t be arsed talking to yours, my own is more than enough to bear.

Because I love my kids. I love the bones of them, they are my family.

But they can be insufferably annoying, whiny, selfish, obstructive.

why would anybody enjoy that or put up with that from someone they didn’t love?

(FYI my kids are young - they will not always be whiny and selfish. They are good kids. They are just learning, as all kids are).

I don’t actively dislike them but I wouldn’t at this point in my life willingly use my time off work socialising with ones that aren’t my own. My two are grown to the point where they’re independent-ish but young enough for me to remember the slog of parenting little ones. Parenting little ones is a part of my life that I thoroughly enjoyed at the time but I’m now glad to see the back of! I am enjoying not having to do it so I avoid being in the vicinity of it being done!
I’m sure, in 10 years or more when my children maybe decide to procreate themselves, my memories of small ones will be so far behind me that I’ll fully embrace it again!

When it comes to liking them, I don't see children as being any different to adults. If they're likeable, then I like them. If another child hurts my child then obviously I don't like them!

I was a scout leader for a few years and loved being with the children. Didn't dislike any of them, they were fab..

Not remotely interested in other peoples’ kids.

I love having other peoples kids here as they keep mine entertained. Obvs there’s a few that I don’t like if they’re rude but mainly it’s nice seeing them play together

The power of love? 😂

Tbh I don't mind people saying that they love their kids and can't stand other people's so long as they recognise that it's driven by love/hormones/responsibility or strength of family relationships. Children's parents should be their main champions. We should all think that our kids are the greatest to us.

But it's when people say that they love their own kids and can't stand other people's, because they actually think that their kids are objectively more interesting/superior/intelligent/wonderful and less annoying than other children that it really cracks me up 😂.

Most are much of a much. They all have good qualities and those which are less so.

I honestly can't stand other people's children. I have never even held another person's baby. I would no more coo at a strangers baby than I would an old man.

Yes, I only really like my own children. I will tolerate other people’s as and when to be socially acceptable.

I think that is pretty normal. I didn’t have children because I LOVE children (I think people who do become teachers or childcare providers or paediatricians or something). I had them because I wanted a family. If anything, because I wanted to see them grow into adults and feel like I created something more than myself. I suspect that’s why a lot of people have children.

It’s a bit like I love Dh. But I’m not remotely interested in my friends’ husbands, I don’t mean in a sexual way. I mean I literally don’t give two hoots about their new jobs or their cars or what they ate or don’t particularly feel like I need to hang out with them or hear updates about them. I’ll certainly have them around for a BBQ and can make small talk at the school fundraiser. But that’s more to be polite than because I’m actually interested in engaging with them in any way.

OK. So which is it, do children have enough in common that we can like/dislike them as a class, or don't they?