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Original poster

Do you love your parents?

134 replies

MyNextMove25 · 29/04/2025 12:04

I am wondering if I am in the minority here. I do not love my parents. Never have. I am mid/late forties. No abuse but neither parent was particularly emotionally available much (I think it’s just how they were raised). I have a friendly relationship now with my father and I like him. I have a complicated relationship with my mother and I don’t think I like her very much. I think my mother only cares about what I can provide for her financially and nothing else. She probably cares a bit, I don’t know.

The above used to make me sad until I had my own children. I love my children and I make sure they know this every single day. I sometimes feel sorry for my mother that she missed out/continues to miss out on the kind of love I share with my children and wish for her sake that it could have been different. Does anyone else have something similar with their parent(s)?

OP posts:
Sunnyside4 · 01/05/2025 15:39

I loved my Dad.

My Mum has never been the easiest person. She cares, but if you don't agree with her way, you're in the wrong. Always falling out with others and we're meant to sympathcise even though fall outs are so trivial, she talks and talks at us. Currently on 10 week nc (have done 18 months before). DH said to give her another chance, but I've admitted that if I'm still her Executor, I have no words for a eulogy. Maybe I love her, but the way she is, I have nothing left.

Mymanyellow · 05/06/2025 06:47

I loved both of mine. We were just a normal boring little family me, my older sister and my parents. I can’t honestly remember any big dramas. Apart from the usual telling off if we were late home or arguing about clothes and make up. ( my sister had lime green platform boots that I coveted). I’m grateful every day that I had a good childhood with good parents.
They are both dead now and I miss them both. I miss my dad’s dry sarcastic humour and knowing that he would always have my back. I miss my mums dreadful cooking and her honest straightforward love for us two girls and her grandchildren.

kindnessforthewin · 05/06/2025 12:15

Mymanyellow · 05/06/2025 06:47

I loved both of mine. We were just a normal boring little family me, my older sister and my parents. I can’t honestly remember any big dramas. Apart from the usual telling off if we were late home or arguing about clothes and make up. ( my sister had lime green platform boots that I coveted). I’m grateful every day that I had a good childhood with good parents.
They are both dead now and I miss them both. I miss my dad’s dry sarcastic humour and knowing that he would always have my back. I miss my mums dreadful cooking and her honest straightforward love for us two girls and her grandchildren.

Read the room. You’ve dug up an old thread, fair amount of trauma to let everyone know how boring (perfect) your childhood was.

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TorroFerney · 05/06/2025 12:27

kindnessforthewin · 05/06/2025 12:15

Read the room. You’ve dug up an old thread, fair amount of trauma to let everyone know how boring (perfect) your childhood was.

Show quote history

no, she has answered the question that the original poster asked which was do you love your parents. Not do you love your parents and if your answer is anything other than no please do not post.

TorroFerney · 05/06/2025 12:27

Mymanyellow · 05/06/2025 06:47

I loved both of mine. We were just a normal boring little family me, my older sister and my parents. I can’t honestly remember any big dramas. Apart from the usual telling off if we were late home or arguing about clothes and make up. ( my sister had lime green platform boots that I coveted). I’m grateful every day that I had a good childhood with good parents.
They are both dead now and I miss them both. I miss my dad’s dry sarcastic humour and knowing that he would always have my back. I miss my mums dreadful cooking and her honest straightforward love for us two girls and her grandchildren.

That's a lovely phrase - straightforward love. That's all you want really isn't it.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/06/2025 12:30

Love my mum, indifferent to my sperm donor and despise my step father.

ItGhoul · 05/06/2025 12:31

kindnessforthewin · 05/06/2025 12:15

Read the room. You’ve dug up an old thread, fair amount of trauma to let everyone know how boring (perfect) your childhood was.

Show quote history

Ironic user name you’ve got there.

Fastertimer · 05/06/2025 12:36

MyNextMove25 · 29/04/2025 12:04

I am wondering if I am in the minority here. I do not love my parents. Never have. I am mid/late forties. No abuse but neither parent was particularly emotionally available much (I think it’s just how they were raised). I have a friendly relationship now with my father and I like him. I have a complicated relationship with my mother and I don’t think I like her very much. I think my mother only cares about what I can provide for her financially and nothing else. She probably cares a bit, I don’t know.

The above used to make me sad until I had my own children. I love my children and I make sure they know this every single day. I sometimes feel sorry for my mother that she missed out/continues to miss out on the kind of love I share with my children and wish for her sake that it could have been different. Does anyone else have something similar with their parent(s)?

Youre my generation and many parents were like that. still love mine and she did the best she could. And yes, the upbringing was the same. Almost Survival mode and not much emotions. No comment on my dad

WestwardHo1 · 05/06/2025 18:59

Mymanyellow · 05/06/2025 06:47

I loved both of mine. We were just a normal boring little family me, my older sister and my parents. I can’t honestly remember any big dramas. Apart from the usual telling off if we were late home or arguing about clothes and make up. ( my sister had lime green platform boots that I coveted). I’m grateful every day that I had a good childhood with good parents.
They are both dead now and I miss them both. I miss my dad’s dry sarcastic humour and knowing that he would always have my back. I miss my mums dreadful cooking and her honest straightforward love for us two girls and her grandchildren.

They sound lovely.

That's all most of us ever need or want I think - uncomplicated, straightforward, drama-free parental love.

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