Charity shop disappointment

[JDM625]

NC for this.
FIL was suddenly bereaved last year. He took a huge step in sorting step MIL's clothes and checked with a charity she supported if they needed new/near new donations. FIL washed and meticulously ironed the clothes, then took to the shop on hangers.

A different person was working there. They refused the clothes and said they needed to be bagged up and not on hangers. FIL left the shop, utterly deflated and distraught.

I realise shops don't want hangers. Do staff ever wonder why clothes are being donated? I'm not even sure why I'm posting, but just feel so sorry for FIL who had been doing well, but this has really knocked him. I suggested a different charity shop but he was so upset, angry and back in his shell now.

Any words of advice appreciated on how I can support him would be appreciated.

I feel for your fil. That must of felt horrible.

It wasn’t handled well at all by the charity shop worker.

Echoing what others have said, I would contact the shop to explain what happened. It could be that the volunteer is new and needs more training, but whatever the situation, it wasn’t handled with sensitivity or tact.

The Sally Army took all Dad's clothes - mainly suits and ties he had not worn for decades but would be good for a man getting back on his feet after unemployment I would think. Not sure if it was them or another charity that took 11 bags of cardigans (mum's). Yes, 11 bags worth!

We had trouble giving any charity household stuff, though mum's neighbour (one of my good friends) had the square plates she liked from mum.

How insensitive. Not everyone feels the same about the clothes of loved ones, and your poor FIL probably encountered one of those. DH was resolutely unsentimental about his late DM's things. She had lovely clothes, which sadly wouldn't really fit anyone else in the family, as she was so petite. DD is the same dress size, but several inches taller. As far as DH was concerned, it could all be bagged up for charity, though what he thought his DF was going to do with all the empty cupboard space is anyone's guess. FIL had the final say, of course.

After his DF died it was hard to donate everything at DH speed, and a lot of it ended up in clothing banks.

I think the best way to help would be to complain to the charity and have them invite him back and accept the donation and apologise? A re-do might be the best way for him to move on.

I’ve gone in once before with a donation they didn’t have any space for stuff at the time - which was fine but I was spoken to in a really rude way which made me feel like I’d donate elsewhere in future. I walked out feeling bad for trying to do something good - so I can only imagine how he felt donating stuff that means a lot to him and having that happen! x

This post is so sad. After all the trouble he went to as well. Heartbreaking.