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Is this “friend” a time waster?

9 replies

ThisBusyOliveFawn · 23/04/2025 16:03

Hi! Just asking for opinions really and what to do
so I have known this woman from since school a very long time ago & we have casually been in touch sporadically for a few years since about 2022 I wanna say? We chatted quite a lot but at arms length. Now I am a person who is old fashioned- i believe for a true authentic friendship people need to meet up at least once or twice at least! We discussed very briefly meeting but she had a lot on with family issues and I did too i was in a controlling relationship which has now ended. The beginning of this year she was blowing a bit hot & cold and posting selfies captioning her bestie with another woman like a trophy which I found a little bit childish and it stung a bit because I felt we were building a friendship. I tried to talk to her and get to know her but then she would stop replying or be busy. I stopped speaking to her and she never made any effort to reach out. That was JANUARY this year. Fast forward to this morning and I receive a text from her. “Oh hi xx”
whats with the oh? Bit odd… i give it the benefit of the doubt and speak to her pleasantly. The fishy thing is she said this best mate of her and herself have fallen out so im wondering if I am the place holder Til they sort things? I asked her if she could call tonight after work she said no then she said she had to go. She hasn’t been active online since then and I know she’s at work which is fine but it’s so jarring when you are trying to build a genuine friendship with someone and stuff like this happens. Do you think im wasting my time? Is she a Time waster?
thanks xxx

OP posts:
blacksax · 23/04/2025 16:07

Yes, you are wasting your time.

BigHeadBertha · 23/04/2025 16:30

It sounds like the two of you are casual friends, and that you were happy with that at one time but now want to be closer. But, for whatever reasons, she does not. That's how I read it, anyway.

I could see it hurting your feelings that she apparently finds others worthy of being more fully in her life but doesn't seem to feel that way about you.

If so, maybe just let this go and look elsewhere for deeper friendships. :)

Vanfan · 23/04/2025 16:32

Yes .Shes not a friend for you

WhatNoRaisins · 23/04/2025 16:34

It doubt you'll get much out of this friendship. Nothing wrong with prioritising those that can actually be bothered with you.

LadyChillT · 23/04/2025 16:34

I wouldn't bother, she sounds like a knob.

BobbyBiscuits · 23/04/2025 16:37

It depends on how much time you spend thinking about her or being bothered.

It's possible to have a few friends who are not very reliable or close, and may not have time or inclination to make the relationship closer. It's not an insult or worth being worried about.

Just focus on the friends you have that you do see regularly and can talk to and have plenty in common with.

blacksax · 23/04/2025 16:38
Confused
Gonk123 · 23/04/2025 16:40

All a bit odd…she isn’t your friend.

pilates · 23/04/2025 16:52

Yes move on and don’t waste any more time

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