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Advice please

6 replies

Ladybirds2025 · 22/04/2025 12:42

I've recently started seeing a new guy and things are going well. He suggested a night away and I agreed, i was initially lookingforward to it. We chose one with a spa, I was a little anxious and I thought the spa would help me relax. Anyway as soon as he booked it my anxiety has gone up. I haven't spent the night away with anyone before and I keep worrying about everything. Will I snore? Will I accidentally fart? Will he hear me in the toilet from the bedroom? Performance anxiety too. My anxiety is now making me feel sick. My thoughts are irrational but I just can't control them. What should I do. I called the venue and they said there is no cancellation on spa stays so he'd lose the money. It was £260 so quite a lot and it was me who chose this place. I do want sex just worried about spending the night. What should I do?

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 22/04/2025 12:55

How recent are we talking, weeks, a month, 2 months. Maybe your anxiety is telling you that you're not ready for this yet?

Ladybirds2025 · 22/04/2025 12:58

5 weeks

OP posts:
Ladybirds2025 · 22/04/2025 12:59

2dogsandabudgie · 22/04/2025 12:55

How recent are we talking, weeks, a month, 2 months. Maybe your anxiety is telling you that you're not ready for this yet?

5 weeks

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/04/2025 13:01

How old are you?

CC222 · 22/04/2025 13:04

It’s natural to have these anxieties and I’m sure he has some of his own too. Try not drive yourself crazy with overthinking. Don’t put pressure on yourself to perform if you decide you just don’t fancy it at the time. Just focus on having some quality time to get to know each other more, that will help you become more comfortable around him.
Im sure you’ll have a lovely time, sounds like a really romantic mini getaway and the perfect place to unwind and learn more about each other… 😊

ohyesido · 22/04/2025 13:07

Talk to him about moments of privacy perhaps? Explain that on occasion you might need space to carry out your ablutions and perhaps he might go for a walk and you’ll do the same for him.

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