Devastated by prolapse. I'm so sad.

[Sodesperatelysad]

Feeling really low and I just need to write it out.

I'm almost 6 months postpartum and I'm 99% certain I have some kind of pelvic floor prolapse. This is my first baby and I'm only 21. Nobody told me this could happen and I was way too active walking around in the first few weeks after birth. I wish everyday that I could go back and rest more. I can't be certain that not resting caused it but I just know that it did. I'm so stupid.

I really wanted to have a big family but I'm terrified to get pregnant again now. I'm scared of it getting worse. I'm scared to lift things or be active. I hate having sex. I obsessively check down there everytime I shower and use the bathroom. I guess just hoping it'll be magically fixed one day.

I've looked into treatment options but there isn't really much available. Just pelvic floor exercises, which I do but that will never change the physical appearance of it. It's not bad enough for surgery, I don't think.

My self esteem wasn't great before pregnancy but now it's rock bottom. I wish I'd been grateful for my body, whilst I at least had a normal looking vagina. I feel like my life is over. I know that's so selfish when I know I'm so lucky to have my lovely baby.

OP you haven’t caused this yourself. Most mothers don’t have the option of parking their bums on a chair and staying there for the foreseeable. Every body is different and these things just happen to some and not to others. It will depend on your anatomy, your birth etc. Stop beating yourself up. Sadly only surgery can fix it properly.

When you say you do exercises - do you just mean squeezes? There’s so much more subtlety to it than that, and a wide range of different stretches and strength building exercises.

Are you breastfeeding? That keeps muscles more relaxed.

Please do get yourself a specialist physio assessment.

Please get your GP to refer you to a specialist physio for women’s issues. It is really helpful. I have a small prolapse but the physio was very helpful.

You need to get to a specialist - postnatal physiotherapist - who can tell you straight if you have a prolapse.

I will tell you that after a vaginal birth, the vagina is pushed/ tilted lower, into a different position. So if you get a mirror and look up there it will always look different to how it did pre-birth, even with no prolapse whatsoever.

Six months postpartum isn’t very long really - things will still be healing and changing, especially if you have been breastfeeding (which affects hormones and can mean things down there remain “softer” for longer).

I hope that’s some reassurance but honestly - you need to be seen by a professional asap, and they will tell you what’s what.

Thank you. I know I need to see someone, I'm just so scared and embarrassed. I will make an appointment though.

I am breastfeeding so there is still hope that things might get a little better.

Please don't be embarrassed - so, so many women suffer with prolapse and pelvic floor damage and any health care professional you see will have seen it countless times before. Nobody will be judging you whatsoever.

It's not caused by not resting. You need to see a specialist women's physio, it's amazing what you can do without see surgery.

I just want to let you know that you aren't alone. Listen to Why Mum's Don't Jump podcast - it will have you laughing and crying, but will inform and empower you. Get a physio appointment as soon as you can.

I had a mild bladder prolapse after my first. I was absolutely devastated and totally shocked, as I had never heard of prolapse. I would have a dragging sensation daily and I felt like my life was over.

Between my first and second child I was living almost symptom free by undertaking core strengthening exercises via Holistic Core Restore. I went on to have a second vaginal birth and my prolapse didn't worsen. My symptoms are still present, but I am hoping getting back to strength training will help again once I finish breastfeeding.

OP please don’t be embarrassed! I can only echo what others have said and really recommend you see a women’s physio x

Go to a women's physio, it can be treated! X

I had a cystocele prolapse, which mostly improved when I stopped feeding and I no longer have symptoms. I think it took 12-18 months to see a significant improvement after giving birth. You produce less relaxin after stopping BFing and the pelvic sling tightens up. I remember being shocked how everything had rearranged after giving birth though.

The book stronger by Megan Vickers is really good for pelvic floor rehab and I found postnatal physiotherapy very helpful. Depending on your area of the country, you may be able to self-refer for pelvic floor physiotherapy, bypassing the need for your GP.

Thank you everyone. Hearing other people's experiences is really helping.

Hi lovely,
im a women’s health physio please don’t be embarrassed this is so so common. Approx 50% of women after childbirth will have some degree of prolapse but some people will not always notice it.
SO much can be done to improve things for you please seek a referral. There is also still room for improvement if breastfeeding.
i promise you it’s not as bad as it seems now xxx

Check out Esther. Her course is really helpful

https://www.esther.health/pelvic-power-movement

THe NHS recommend the Squeezy app
https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/squeezy/id700740791
My GP said it is really effective at improving prolapse /Pelvic Floor if used regularly.

OP don’t panic! I had a prolapse at 18 and had surgery and physio and made a full recovery. Get yourself seen and sorted - it may not be as bad as you think 😊💐

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5106802-to-ask-if-anybody-has-had-a-rectal-prolapse-that-can-offer-some-advice?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

This thread is very helpful xx

Also to add, mine got no worse after a second baby (both natural deliveries). In fact, I'd say it's marginally improved.

@Sodesperatelysad please don't be embarrassed, it's more common than you think.

I have some visible scars on my stomach from an infection so am bracing myself too for medical treatment. If it's affecting your day to day life talk to a medic

I had a prolapse after DC1. My gynae told me about a third of women end up with some degree of prolapse after childbirth so absolutely no need to feel embarrassed, although I absolutely remember how debilitating and upsetting it was.

6 months really isn’t that long, mine improved a bit once I stopped breastfeeding and losing the pregnancy weight also made a difference. Ultimately mine needed surgery once I’d had DC2, but another pregnancy and vaginal delivery with her didn’t make it worse at all. She was actually a very easy birth, presumably because my pelvic floor was knackered! I had my surgery about 11 years ago now which was successful (luckily my surgeon refused to use mesh) and I’ve had no further issues since. Please do make an appointment to see your GP and ask for a gynae referral, you don’t have to live with it.

Go see a pelvic floor physio asap. You're still in a window where you can make improvements to grade now.

Go to a Dr.
I'm mid 40s and suspected I had one about 6 months ago. I was right. It's stage 1 rectocele and there's nothing they can do 'because you're in your 40s and the elasticity goes'. I did pilates for 20 years. Thought I was well covered in that area, but big babies 16 years ago and lifting heavy weights has come to get me. I'm slim, fit and eat well. It's just age, bad luck and not taking my gran's advice not to push myself too hard.

It's one of those things that lots of women have, but no one broadcasts it. Since telling people, I now know at least 3 other women with prolapses. Yet again, imagine if this was something men had to deal with.

I went to a Mummy MOT physio and she was wonderful. It was quite intimate, but she does it all day every day so I didn't get embarrassed.

There are so many things that interconnected - for example, while helping improving my prolapse, she said if I had a left knee injury (I had) because she could tell I'd been overcompensating for it for about 15 years.

Oh, I’m sorry you’re suffering, I get you. I had a prolapse after my second and had excellent treatment from NHS physios. It’s worth mentioning that I remember them administering questionnaires at the start and there were several questions about low mood etc, it’s really normal to feel how you do about this. Totally agree with others that you didn’t cause this.

6mo pp is very early indeed. In my case and other mum friends, it was a couple of years of exercises before seeing an improvement. I feel totally normal now and am not aware of it all the time like I was at the stage you are at. There’s lots they can do and you do need taught how to do pelvic floor exercises correctly. I’d also recommend Pilates when you feel able.

@Sodesperatelysad I have a prolapse as well, stage 2 cystocele and stage 1 uterine.
Most mothers do have some form of prolapse but they dont notice it tbh.
Kegels can help but prolapses will get worse with each pregnancy and birth.
Sorry OP but only surgery will fix it. As we age, our bodies are not as elastic btw so it does get worse.
I am 29 years old when I gave birth to my last child I did exercises which helped.
Unfortunately with lifting my toddler and having coughs which lasted weeks brought my prolapse back.