So how do I live in the female gender?

[Definitelynamechanged123]

There are 8834 people in the UK who have a Gender Recognition Certificate.
I am one of them.

To get it, I had to show evidence of transition, surgery etc. Lots of hoops

I also had to swear a Statutory Declaration. I had to go to a Magistrates Court and swear a legal declaration in front of a magistrate. It was all very formal.

I had to swear this:

" have lived as a (insert ‘male’ or ‘female’ as appropriate)
throughout the period of years before the date of this statutory
declaration and I intend to live in that gender until death."

This declaration is legally binding. Apparently if I don't follow this, I can be done for perjury.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate.

I was very surprised that so few trans people have Gender Recognition Certificates.

I'm good, thanks.

I assume you're also perfectly fine with trans-identifying male sex offenders being put in women's prisons?

@Definitelynamechanged123 i guess what did you think it meant when you swore that oath? Has it changed today? If not, I dont believe you would have anything to worry about.

It sounds like you are what used to be called a transsexual. You have been presenting yourself as a woman in everyday life and have undertaken surgery to make your body fit that image. You also know you are not actually a woman. Assuming you have been living a respectable quiet life in which you ‘pass’ as female, you have not been assaulting women in female only spaces or competing in sport under the false pretence that you are an actual woman, then you carry on as you have been. That involves respecting women’s need, at times, for sex-segregated spaces. I’m afraid you may have to work it out for yourself on occasion, but kindness to others will be your guide.

It's really not comparable, a public toilet isn't a prison, is it.

Fine. It doesn't matter what sex a hairdresser is.

However if you/someone had the hairdresser come to your home, and you specifically wanted a woman due to eg previous sexual assault and not wanting a male bodied person in your house alone with you, then maybe it would be an issue.

Just wondering, if it can't be defined then why do you feel the need to define yourself into something different than what you biologically are?

What do you define as being a woman? Apart from re-shaping genetalia?

I don't know about all this, I was born female and still am, but I do appreciate that it must be very very difficult for you and others in your situation to navigate this new ruling. I do worry about genuine people like you whilst also feeling safer about the ones who abuse that system and put us in a vulnerable position. I hope things work out for everybody!

I suppose if you believe that trans women are a type of woman, then you continue to live as a trans woman.

Just trying to get your opinion on the issues affected by the Supreme Court decision as a whole. And women - as well as children - HAVE been attacked by trans-identifying men in women's toilets.

OP is a man. He was a boy, then went through male puberty and he developed into a man.

He is a man.
Full stop.

If I have a hysterectomy, I’m still a woman. If I was chopping in two and living as a torso for with just a head and arms, I’d still be a woman.

I’ve never seen a man living as a “trans woman” who looks like a woman. Ever.

Take an immediate pay cut. Oh, and you'll probably have to find a job that's school hours in termtime only, but still pays really well. Good luck with that one.

Get used to people assuming you got that promotion because you shagged the boss.

If you live with someone, they will expect all household chores to be your sole responsibility, but you can ask them to help out sometimes. They may oblige, in which case you must thank them fulsomely for their efforts and praise them to the high heavens. Oh, and they will be expecting sex tonight as a reward.

All present buying and card writing for your partner's relatives is down to you.

When out walking, remember that men have right of way, and you need to step aside so as not to impede their progress.

Should someone at work make remarks towards you that you consider to be sexually inappropriate and offensive, or they are harassing you in any way, get over it. Lighten up and don't be so sensitive, can't you take a joke?

People will think you are either too fat or too thin. There is no happy medium. And yes, your bum does look big in that.

You aren't wearing make-up, nice clothes and have had your nails & hair done because those things make you feel good about yourself, apparently you are only doing it to attract male attention.

When a man starts stating the bleeding obvious and goes into great depth to tell you something you already know, don't worry, he's only mansplaining.

You have male siblings, but it will be down to you to care for your parents in their old age. Even if the siblings live around the corner and you are 40 miles away.

And finally....... GPs will not take your symptoms seriously.

@Anewuser you are obviously very new. There is no requirement to have surgery to get a GRC and men generally dont bother. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

Transwoman retain male crime patterns

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/18973/pdf/

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/apr/20/the-dad-who-gave-birth-pregnant-trans-freddy-mcconnell

Nobody on here has wished OP anything other than well and many people have expressed sympathy for their position
Unlike sex its not as Binary as let men do whatever they want vs we want to kill Transwomen.

You said you signed a legal declaration that you had been "living as a woman" for a period of time before you applied for the GRC - what had you been doing up to that point? (And was any proof required or did they just take your word for it?)

Would you be happy with third spaces, OP?

OP, you can't live in the female gender. It's a meaningless phrase. There's no reason men can't wear dresses. There's no reason women can't play rugby. It's all just stereotyping. The concept of "living as the opposite gender" is a relic from the twentieth century.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Certificate? Who cares about a piece of paper? Just live as you currently do. Carry on living as a woman, just legally your biological sex if a form asks is male. It’s not a lie. It’s how you were born. You’ve just chosen to live as a woman. I don’t see the issue. Presumably you have family friends etc that support you and that’s all you need in life. You don’t need the whole world.

So...how do I live as a female and live in that gender until death - I have sworn to do this in front of a magistrate

See, that's a tough one. I've worked in the health service all my life, mostly elderly services. I've cared for 2 transwomen over the years. As soon as dementia bites and that short term memory goes, they revert back to being men and become quite aggressive if given a dress to wear or be called by their chosen female name.

@Definitelynamechanged123

Thing is, there really is no specific instructions on how to 'live in the female gender'. Each (natal) woman's experience 'in her gender' is unique to her.

Yes, we have some 'commonality of experiences' with other women in whichever society we live in, but my experience as a woman born in the '50s in the US is as different as chalk from cheese to a woman born in the '80s in the UK, or born in 2000s in Russia.

Also, some of us are athletic, some are artistic, some are not. Some of us are shy, some are outgoing, some are neither. Some of us are maternal, some are not. Some are beautiful some are plain. SAHM vs career woman. Activist vs Apathist. Fighter vs 'flighter'. Some grew up in war zones, some in lands of peace and plenty. These are the things that define us, first as human beings, secondly as women. Do you see where I'm going? You cannot use another's path to find your own. You will have obstacles unique to your situation, we cannot help you with those. You will have to find your path by yourself. Just as each of us did.

Of course there is no such thing as “living as female” unless you believe in sexist gender stereotypes. Women are not one homogeneous group, we have wildly varying lifestyles and the only thing that truly unites us is our biology. This is what’s so flawed about the concept of gender and changing gender - gender is a social construct and there is nothing inherently female about wearing dresses and make up, caregiving and being nurturing etc. They’re societal expectations which many women feel the need to conform too but of course many don’t. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a man enjoying or relating to everything perceived to be female - it doesn’t make him a woman.

I don't understand the question. Being a woman is about the experience of living in a female body. That's the source of what we all have in common, and the source of the sex discrimination women have always faced. It's not something you can identify into. The only thing you can identify into is a bunch of harmful and sexist stereotypes - otherwise known as "gender".

Tbh, now the issue with keeping womens spaces for biological women has now been resolved, I have some sympathy about where that leaves Trans people, but only in a genuine concern that they get their own space. Had that been their goal right from the off, instead of insisting that women share their spaces with men pretending to be women, then the hostility from women might might not have been as strong. Although I do think a lot of Trans will oppose having their own spaces, because for a lot of them, wanting us to share our spaces has been a driving force for them, and to have their own spaces will make them feel othered.

I feel for you OP and I hope you find peace and happiness.

There is no way to live in the female gender. The only thing that I share with any of the posters above is biological sex. Each of us will have a completely different life experience varied because of health, wealth or lack of, relationships, family or not, beauty or not, exposure to education, career and any of the million things that make each of us unique. Exactly as I presume it is for males. All males are different based on thousands of life experiences. The only thing we share is a common biology. That is the only thing that unites us as women. There is no way someone not female can live as a woman in exactly the same way I can never understand what it is to be a man.