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Original poster

Worried DS knows nothing

60 replies

somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:11

He starts school in September. Every so often I get a mad panic that he knows nothing.

He doesn’t know about money, at all. Obviously I never pay using cash so he doesn’t recognise notes and coins as I probably did at a similar age.

Doesn’t know his letters. He can sort of recognise his own name. We do read but again I feel like he’s losing interest a bit.

He doesn’t really understand the concept of countries or anything like that.

He knows about nature … I’ve tried to explain a bit about the seasons and months of the year but he seems to be confused.

Have I done a terrible job? Or will school sort all this out?

OP posts:
Lightofheart · 14/04/2025 21:16

Mine starts in September too and has very little knowledge of the topics you've mentioned. I wasn't worried but now I'm thinking, should I be worried? In all seriousness though, I think you're panicking over nothing. Are you anxious about him starting school in general?

Twotoast · 14/04/2025 21:22

I think more important is that he can dress himself and tie shoes and ask for toilet etc

**Not tie shoes... I mean put on shoes

MyIvyGrows · 14/04/2025 21:23

Twotoast · 14/04/2025 21:22

I think more important is that he can dress himself and tie shoes and ask for toilet etc

**Not tie shoes... I mean put on shoes

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Original poster
somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:24

@Lightofheart no, I’m glad! I’m sure I am worrying over nothing - I just don’t quite know what they should know if that makes sense! And I don’t remember being four too well so I’m not sure what I knew …

He can’t tie shoelaces @Twotoast . He can dress himself after a fashion but is liable to get his trousers on the wrong way and shoes on the wrong foot and so on!

OP posts:
Original poster
somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:26

That school readiness check was very helpful and reassuring. Thank you so much Flowers

OP posts:
ThatTwinklyPearlSloth · 14/04/2025 21:26

somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:26

That school readiness check was very helpful and reassuring. Thank you so much Flowers

You’re very welcome!

SpringIsSpringing25 · 14/04/2025 21:27

Don't stress about that sort of thing he will pick it up

Between now and him starting school, make sure he can go to the toilet independently, change his shoes, put his coat on and do it up & as far as you can teach him to be responsible for his things.

Try to get him confident asking other adults for help and just generally speaking to them.

try to make sure he had interaction with other children that isn't micromanaged by the adults.

And yes, recognising his name is important. Put it on things around the house so that he gets used to seeing it and finding it. So he can hang his coat up at school, collect his artwork and stuff like that.

DazedAndConfused321 · 14/04/2025 21:29

There has never been 2 children in the entire world's history who have ever been the same.

Yours is entirely normal, they learn as they grow and 4/5 is so young! My eldest tied her shoes at 7, her cousin at 13! My eldest at 9 still can't put her shoes on the right way every time, puts clothes on inside out etc. She's top of her class in most subjects though.

School is for educating, developing, learning and your son will get all of that.

pimplebum · 14/04/2025 21:35

Your expectations are waaaaaay off , no school starter should know any if the things you mentioned

my son is half way through reception and has no concept at all if money seasons and poops his pants everyday

the only thing you need to teach him is to say please and thank you , competent toileting washing hands etc, taking off clothes for pe

they are not expected to be able to read and write the teachers are paid to do that !

LadyRoughDiamond · 14/04/2025 21:38

somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:24

@Lightofheart no, I’m glad! I’m sure I am worrying over nothing - I just don’t quite know what they should know if that makes sense! And I don’t remember being four too well so I’m not sure what I knew …

He can’t tie shoelaces @Twotoast . He can dress himself after a fashion but is liable to get his trousers on the wrong way and shoes on the wrong foot and so on!

I’ll always remember the first time my eldest did proper PE. That afternoon at pick up, child after child walked out in clothes that were inside out, back to front or the wrong size. God knows what chaos the classroom was in, but we were all super proud of our kids’ first time getting changed at school 😂

socialdilemmawhattodo · 14/04/2025 21:40

You can help him with money. You can get play money for pretend shopping at home. Then try a bakers. I used to take my son who is very dyslexic into our local bakers after school, I would say, I am so sorry, I don't have notes. Are you happy with change? I would whisper to the shop assistant that of course, I had change, but I was teaching my son about money. They didn't mind so I would empty a coin purse, where I had removed £1 and £2 so it was loose change on the table. My son would count out the change to buy the bakery good of his choice! Win, win. Also we would go to boot fairs. I would give him £5 in loose change, so he could negotiate and spend. It worked well for years!

mikado1 · 14/04/2025 21:46

More important than anything is that you're not stressing or quizzing him or forcing things. Drop things into conversation while out and about. Maybe try to use coins and notes a little more so he can hand over money for his ice-cream and accept the change. Read for pleasure and chat as you go. Keep it relaxed. If he's not filling in things, you do it and take the pressure off him. He will be fine! Such a lovely age.

jewelcase · 14/04/2025 21:49

Christ my two at in Y7 and Y9 and barely know those things!

Good luck with starting school though - a big and emotional change so hope it goes well x

MysteriousFalafel · 14/04/2025 21:54

Also, loads of schools now just have them come in PE kit on PE days so no need for them to get changed. They started it in Covid and obviously then queried why the hell they’d had 30 tiny kids causing complete carnage getting changed twice a week when they could just arrive in PE kit and stay in it all day

planthelpadvice · 14/04/2025 21:55

LadyRoughDiamond · 14/04/2025 21:38

I’ll always remember the first time my eldest did proper PE. That afternoon at pick up, child after child walked out in clothes that were inside out, back to front or the wrong size. God knows what chaos the classroom was in, but we were all super proud of our kids’ first time getting changed at school 😂

Show quote history

😂 yes was about to say about the time I picked my DS up from reception and he was wearing everything back to front!!

But honestly OP this is exactly what reception is for - to start learning all those things. My best mate is a reception teacher and she says she values kids being able to vaguely get dressed, go to the loo by themselves, not expect constant attention from her, and be able to follow simple instructions (and do what they are asked!).

Quiceinalifetime · 14/04/2025 21:57

I remember very well my mum repeatedly trying to explain what a country is; I was bemused and was certainly older than your DS. Now I have a PhD. I really wouldn't worry.

QueenOfWeeds · 14/04/2025 22:01

LadyRoughDiamond · 14/04/2025 21:38

I’ll always remember the first time my eldest did proper PE. That afternoon at pick up, child after child walked out in clothes that were inside out, back to front or the wrong size. God knows what chaos the classroom was in, but we were all super proud of our kids’ first time getting changed at school 😂

Show quote history

There’s normally a decent handful of children who take everything off, pants included, because they’ve only ever really got undressed at bath time. Always stressful hoping you’ve got the right underwear on the right children!

My previous headteacher wanted the children to continue changing in school as part of life skills. We eventually compromised on coming in wearing PE kit and changing out of it, so only one change and not two.

Bigfish51 · 14/04/2025 22:06

Just think they are glad they are toilet trained these days 😂

Mumoftwo52 · 14/04/2025 22:08

pimplebum · 14/04/2025 21:35

Your expectations are waaaaaay off , no school starter should know any if the things you mentioned

my son is half way through reception and has no concept at all if money seasons and poops his pants everyday

the only thing you need to teach him is to say please and thank you , competent toileting washing hands etc, taking off clothes for pe

they are not expected to be able to read and write the teachers are paid to do that !

Eh? Lots of children can absolutely do/know the things OP mentioned. My not-yet-4yo recognises all the letters of the alphabet and many of her classmates do too.

Mumoftwo52 · 14/04/2025 22:15

somethingelseinthebox · 14/04/2025 21:11

He starts school in September. Every so often I get a mad panic that he knows nothing.

He doesn’t know about money, at all. Obviously I never pay using cash so he doesn’t recognise notes and coins as I probably did at a similar age.

Doesn’t know his letters. He can sort of recognise his own name. We do read but again I feel like he’s losing interest a bit.

He doesn’t really understand the concept of countries or anything like that.

He knows about nature … I’ve tried to explain a bit about the seasons and months of the year but he seems to be confused.

Have I done a terrible job? Or will school sort all this out?

You’ve not done a terrible job at all, but there are things you can do over the next few months to get him used to those things you mention. Why not get him a piggy bank so he gets familiar with coins / how money is spent. Why not practice letters together? I like playing eye-spy with my daughter (4yo, also due to start school in Sep) eg ‘eye spy something beginning with ‘c’ - cat. Super simple stuff that gets him used to letters and their sounds. You could print off a world map and show him where the UK is, and where other countries are on the map that they might have heard about on tv - eg Australia is in a Peppa Pig episode etc etc. We also use a calendar so my DD can see the months of the year and she can find her birthday month / Xmas and so on.

ExitPursuedByABare · 14/04/2025 22:17

He’s a boy. Relax. Girls know everything when they start. Boys just run around with their jumpers on their heads.

anicecuppateaa · 14/04/2025 22:20

DTs are in reception. These are the things that have been important:

  • recognising own name
  • putting coat on and doing up
  • putting shoes on and doing up
  • carrying a lunch tray
  • using knife and fork to cut up food
  • going to the toilet independently

We also still practice how to engage with other children. Eg ‘my name is x, what is your name. Can I play with you’

Newmumhere40 · 14/04/2025 22:22

pimplebum · 14/04/2025 21:35

Your expectations are waaaaaay off , no school starter should know any if the things you mentioned

my son is half way through reception and has no concept at all if money seasons and poops his pants everyday

the only thing you need to teach him is to say please and thank you , competent toileting washing hands etc, taking off clothes for pe

they are not expected to be able to read and write the teachers are paid to do that !

Poops his pants??

PinkArt · 14/04/2025 22:22

I don't think you need to worry at all, but my niece loved the Pop To The Shops game when she was that age. It's a great way to get them used to spending with coins and doing easy maths as they get a bit older.