What has your OCD convinced you is true?

[Limeandbasil90]

I’m deep in a period of fixed obsessive, rumination and intrusive thoughts. I’ve restarted my medication, I should never have bloody stopped them.

I just want to feel a little bit less alone

Thanks :)

That I murdered someone and erased it from my memory

Hey. I have OCD. It was particularly rough through pregnancy. I was obsessed with still birth/miscarriage/baby having genetic issues etc, and it really ruined my pregnancy. I couldn't enjoy it as OCD convinced me I'd never have a live baby.

At the moment, I'm ruminating a lot on fires and airline disasters (have a holiday coming up). They both occupy my thoughts a lot, and I get stuck in obsessive Google loops.

What's going on for you, OP? Hang in there, it's rough.

@Enderwhere Same. I had convinced myself that I had buried someone in the back garden. I never thought it was linked to my OCD though.

I have pure OCD. I think the worst intrusive thought was that I was a paedophile. I kept away from my niece just in case.

I go through phases of this too, and worrying I'm a sociopath/serial killer! Defo an OCD thing!

Oh my goodness, I had no idea OCD can affect people in the way previous posters have said.

I'm so sorry you've all had to go through this

No wonder some people get annoyed when they hear people with high cleaning standards say, 'I'm a tad OCD'.

I’ve had intrusive thoughts and severe rumination in the past , if you haven’t come across this book , I would highly recommend it

That if the draws and cupboards are not fully closed then something evil will sneak through and harm my children.

That if I didn't buy the right bag of frozen vegetables my baby would be taken away.

If I pressed the traffic light button I would be traced and followed home and be tested to see if I was a good enough mother, this one had me standing at crossings until someone else pressed it.

There's more but those are the most memorable ones.

I don’t have a diagnosis nor consider myself to have OCD but I do get bad rumination's that can last years (???) for about three years I was fixated on the thought of snapping my ankle in every possible way, in the shower, walking into my tiled kitchen, getting out of the car wrong, everything! My whole body would tense when I thought about it and I’d be scared of getting pins and needles. My newest rumination of the last year or so has been seizures, if my sight is obscured/blurry I’ll convince myself im about to seizure. If something is distorted on a screen I’ll ask my partner if it’s the same for him otherwise I’ll convince myself it’s about it happen and I get lightheaded and feel slightly sick. I’ve NEVER had a seizure or broken a bone. Is this OCD?!?!? 🫣

Oh this thread is very pertinent to me too. I developed OCD 18 months ago.
Mine was slightly linked to cleaning and things looking a certain way ( not spotless or anything just a certain way)/ doing things in a certain order or my children will die/ I will die in the way I fear most. I can't go into more detail because it's deeply distressing.
My medication keeps a lid on it spiralling - but I live with it every day.
So yes - people saying they are OCD about random things followed but a little laugh is radically minimising the impact of OCD.
I didn't find CBT useful so I try to manage it. Sometime I even indulge it because I feel guilty when I don't 'listen' to it.

The worst I’ve ever experienced was when I thought I might have been a paedophile! I often get the worry I’ve killed someone in a hit and run. It’s awful

That I would harm my children. That I was gay (not that there’s anything wrong about being gay, of course) when I had just started falling in love with my now husband. I also had the paedophilia intrusive thoughts at one point. It’s an evil illness to have to live with and I send love to anyone who’s suffering. I’m lucky to have been stable for a while now without it bothering me too much.

This are the types of things that I thought about. Random actions that meant my whole family would be killed if I didn't do it right.

When it was bad bad, I live in a block of flats, neighbours row and fights and screams etc and I had to count all the drawers of the furniture when I heard the fighting until it stopped.
I had to sleep on the edge on double bed (I’m single) with the same 2 pillows because if I didn’t and something awful happened to my son it would be because I slept on a different pillow or not on the edge of my bed.The only bad thing g was he got pissed at wor, collapsed on a very dark common but luckily someone had seen him and called 999, they called me and stayed with him. My son did not remember a thing.
i would never say I’m HAPPY because bad shit may happen if I did

now I only check the lock in the front door a few times at night, I don’t care where on the bed I sleep or what pillows I have. BUT my son is married so he isnt living alone or getting pissed and walking home and night fucked off his head

I convinced myself I had developed Postpartum Psychosis, was hiding it really well and would snap and harm my baby.

I didn’t have postpartum psychosis. I had OCD.

For anyone in the trenches with this horrible illness - I thought I wouldn’t ever get better. I did. It’s possible.

Latest one has been that I’m going to die of rabies because I got bitten by a bat (am having rabies shots but still worrying they’ve somehow “done them wrong”!)
I’ve been pretty free of health anxiety for years, but this has really set it off and I’ve found myself googling for reassurance again. You really have my sympathies. It’s horrible.

That I've hit someone/something driving and not noticed/didn't stop.

Just reading your post made it visceral again.. that dread that something you THINK is insignificant actually IS significant. Our brain finds what would hurt the most ( loss of a child for example) and uses it against you.
The brain is so complex.
I could never have dreamed what OCD was like until it happened.

I worry I've killed someone, hit someone with my car or abused a child and blocked it out of my memory. While I'd never wish those intrusive thoughts on someone else, I'm relieved it's not just me.

I've never been diagnosed with OCD but I do have ADHD/ASD and I know the three are related. If I saw someone could they do anything to help? I've always suffered with phobias, health anxiety and contamination fears too.

I really feel for anyone who struggles or has struggled with OCD. Too often it’s trivialised in the media when it is such a multifaceted and debilitating condition. There is a school of thought that Pure O doesn’t exist in as much as people who have the “O” part invariably also have the “C” part but the compulsions are often avoidant (keeping away from children), subtle, internal, and invisible to an observer; often mental compulsions (things like thought stopping, thinking a good thought to cancel out a bad thought). Sometimes people don’t get the optimal help they deserve because there hasn’t been enough emphasis on uncovering the subtle and invisible compulsions that are there and that contribute to keeping the misery going.

I am glad people talk about these things more with such honesty, regard for differing experiences and lack of judgement so thanks for the thread @Limeandbasil90

That God would take away people that I loved if I “offended” him…cue years of intrusive ‘blasphemous’ thoughts. I imagined an invisible plastic tube that went from my head up to God, that conveyed my thoughts. That’s the overarching principle anyway, but the finer details, I wouldn’t even know how to explain them as it’s so complex.

At the moment? If I touch something that might have been touched by someone who has taken drugs then I might get contaminated, loose control and hurt someone.

This is interesting about the pure O.

They could definitely help if you look into getting ERP (exposure response prevention therapy)

That if I don't do specific things in a specific way something catastrophic will happen to someone I love. No matter how irrational I know it is, I can't fight the compulsion.