What have you accepted about yourself as you've got older .

[GreenCandleWarmth]

I'm late 30s and in a period of acceptance I suppose. I accept I'm a bit selfish. I accept that I have made major mistakes. I accept that I probably could be a better daughter, wife and employee but life is busy!

That I’ll never be able to work , or drive, or have my photo taken. That I can’t speak
to people. I am proud of myself for what I can do though . I’m an amazing parent and a kind and moral person.

I am bossy and when i retire, i will probably be one of those people who end up on a dozen committees as I like to be involved in everything.

I am too outspoken and often make people laugh but can occasionally go too far.

I've accepted that I'm not going to travel the world. Cycle across the US ( ambition as a teen) or anywhere else. I'm not hiking in Patagonia.
I am lucky enough to have walked the Jurassic coast in Dorset though. Too old now, and too skint.
I've accepted that I screwed up my ambitions by having DC, being a SAHM ( no childcare in those days available for low incomes) and making continuous stupid decisions.

I get you… I’m in my late 50’s and have come to accept I’m an introvert..and that’s fine, some of are 😊

That whilst I enjoy my job and believe I’m good at it, I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. That realisation has given me a lot of peace. Our appraisals are very much geared towards career progression, I’ve just had mine, and enjoyed saying I’m right where I want to be and don’t intend to go any higher. I’m 58 and in the last year have lost 2 friends who worked and worked and worked, then cancer struck out of the blue and they never got to enjoy any kind of retirement. I’ve gone part time and will do the things I want to now, rather than wait for a retirement which is guaranteed to no one.

Oh my goodness. I could have written this but I'm ten years younger. I have a good job and I'm good at it. I know I could progress further if I wanted to but I just don't want it enough. I just don't have the drive to rise up the corporate ladder. But it's taken a while to accept this as I've been conditioned to believe that I should be achieving more. All I've ever really cared about is being the best mum to my son and he's nearly 19 now. Like the op, I've recently lost someone very close to me to cancer - the same age as me. Its changed everything. We really do only get one go at this. The only thing that matters is what really matters to you, not what others think you should be doing or achieving. It takes a long time to realise that though.

I have zero ambition and my dream is to be a housewife, without being married.

Same here!
I was going to say Ive accepted that I will never have the kind of confidence that will make me enjoy small talk or want to 'get ahead' in my job.
Im happy being a mouse!😀

Totally agree with your first paragraph. How do get on with your siblings? I'm estranged from mine. There is a lot of bitterness.

Yes! I think hugging is generational! Younger people at work hug each other "Hello" and hug each other "Goodnight". I don't get it.

On the occasions, so done at work has tried to hug me, I have to point out an invisible mark line and say I don't like people in my personal space.

I never make a good first impression either.

That I am just a little bit boring and will probably never be the most interesting person in the room.

That I am not, and never will be a high flyer or a big earner. I just don’t have the brains or the capacity to understand a lot of corporate roles. I’ll be in admin roles forever and that’s ok.

I'm never going to have a loving relationship with my mother. She's physically available but I feel no connection to her and this will never change despite my efforts. I dread the day she dies, not because I'll miss her but worried I'll feel nothing when it happens.

That I’m probably neurodivergent. And this explains why people don’t really ‘take’ to me.
Also that I absolutely hate parties - far too many people, too much noise, and I hate getting drunk. I just used to go to parties because that’s what other ‘normal’ people do.

I’ll never be a musician/dancer/musical theatre star.

I get this after many many years. Many people don't. I actually don't know how people have lifetime friends.

That it’s taken me decades to figure out how to navigate the world of work and friendships, that I’m quite probably neurodivergent but don’t want a diagnosis, that anxiety largely ruined my adolescence and early 20s (not nearly enough was known about it). That it takes very little to make me happy.

I'm like this but hadn't considered being neuro divergent.

I struggle to maintain friendships. I'm happier inside my own home. I can really be me there.

@HappyDaysAreAhead we get on well but they struggle being around my parents for extended periods of time and we can’t all be in the same place for very long. It’s not easy but I’ve been in therapy and have come to accept the situation. My siblings are working through their issues in their own ways. We all recognise and understand the issues, my parents don’t and there’s nothing to be gained from confrontation. We all have varying levels of anxiety based disorders which is likely rooted in our upbringing- high expectations, lack of emotional support, focus on self reliance and stoicism.

I’m singing along too! Love that song.

(Although at 19 I did actually drive through Paris in a sports car with my French Exchange partner and her mum)

It only came to me after realising my son is autistic - he got it from me! I don’t want to be formally diagnosed though.
If you want to look into it more, the embrace-autism website has questionnaires you can take…

That at 42, I don’t want to learn to drive