I don't have children myself. But late in life (so the news says) two friends had children in the same year.
I was delighted for them both, of course, and flurried them with presents. At the beginning,I thought no farther ahead than their first birthday.
To cut an awkward story short, over the years, I ended up being provided with lists of what I could buy. With both having large families, I accepted it made sense.No point in duplicating toys or books.
But as they have grown, so has their interests and expenses to do with their respective hobbies. Like Topsy, it grew and grew.
They are both now just over 18. I've never met them (other than when babies) due to our workloads and various other reasons. I have provided what has been asked for in terms of Christmas, birthdays and Easter.
It's got more and more expensive as time has gone on and I had to go part time due to serious health reasons. It made huge impact financially but the present lists remained on an upwards spiral.That was disappointing but I accepted it. I had thought they would trim the cost of their lists voluntarily.
Am I wrong in thinking this is year to bite the bullet and stop the presents? Or should I wait for them going away to university and using that as the tail off point? Or should I bear it until 21?
I would still send cards. But I need an idea if is 18 feasible or should I hold out until they reach 21?
Any ideas and help would be appreciated.
It sounds minor but after 18 years, it most certainly isn't. I don't want to upset my friends, their children or cause unnecessary angst when there's a way to overcome that. I just don't know how best to deal with it all. Both friends will feel slighted when I raise it. So I need to be careful. Both friends want as much as possible for their boys. I tried 'no presents' at all a few years ago. You would have thought I had suggested something outrageous.
I'm genuinely at a loss.
Help!