Do you know anyone neurodiverse?

[CaramelGhost]

Do you know anyone neurodiverse? Serious question. A few years ago I could have named a few acquaintances. People I recall from school. Random colleagues that I might suspect but didn't know enough about, for example. But no one I spent time with or knew of really

But here in 2025 I am on the waiting list for an autism assessment and I am looking around at people I thought I knew and so many things are clicking into place.

I am sure my OH is autistic, which I had not considered until recent years. He performs well at work but can come off as rude and cares little about what people think, feels no pressure or desire to fit in and therefore sees no benefit to being assessed (I can cope with that, he loves me very much)

I don't have friends and only talk to colleagues. Since starting work there 5 years ago, I really struggled to fit in but there was enough people I could count on 1 hand where I didn't feel the pressure to "perform" as such....since then they have been diagnosed or are awaiting diagnosis for ADHD or autism. Something we would never have discussed years ago but I felt a "calm" with them since day 1. (Out of hundreds of people I work with)

Catching up with a couple of my cousins recently, 2/3 of them divulged they have been advised to pursue autism assessments. At which point, i admitted I had been advised the same.

I am trying to wrap my head around if "everyone" is on the spectrum or do I just naturally gravitate towards people on the spectrum and my cousins are facing similar challenges because of the genetic link? None of our parents are diagnosed and seem normal "enough".

What's it like in your circles?

I am autistic, diagnosed in my 40s.

I don't have many friends, though I made a few friends at uni (fellow geeky awkward scifi fans) who I am in touch with but don't see often, and pretty much every single one of us has one or more ASD child and has either had a diagnosis themselves or are on a waiting list to be so.

I think we gravitate towards one another. It's not coincidence.

Anyone and everyone seems to be neurodiverse now.

Society is neurodiverse. Individuals may be neurodivergent.

Lots of neuro diversity in my family. My husbands great nieces and nephew were suspected autistic some years ago and his niece is now seeking a diagnosis. Both my granddaughters are ASD and my son in law and DD1 diagnosed ADHD. I also suspect my husband may be on the spectrum. All of them have friends who are also ND so I think they may gravitate to similar characters. There is also a genetic link. All the adults work though and manage relationships ok but either suffer with anxiety, over thinking, poor executive function or burn out occasionally.

My husband is most likely autistic but not diagnosed. My son was diagnosed at 8. All his friends are (they gravitate to each other it's not that there are loads of autistic teens or anything 😄). My daughter I don't think is autistic but again gravitates to autistic friends. I don't know anyone else who is from my friends or their families.

Yes, quite a bit in my family.

Husband, my son (and very likely his child), another son who is on the waiting list to be assessed, my daughter is also on the waiting list and I highly suspect my other daughter is autistic too. My MIL, my niece and I suspect my sister too.

Most autistic individuals seem to be with adhd partners think the autism calms the adhd and the adhd partner challenges the autistic person's smaller bubble. Now having x2 adhd people in a relationship I.e me and my partner is dramatic. He was diagnosed at 7 me most recently. Both medicated.

In hindsight, a lot of people.

That's not saying I don't know a lot of neurodivergent people now- I suspect pretty much my entire family would count, and my three close friends. I also tend to find myself in pretty neurodivergent-friendly spaces, creative groups and the like, as well as working in a very neurodiverse field.

No, I say hindsight because the difference is that I know those I spend time with now are also neurodivergent, but in the past I didn't. Looking back I think most of the people I spent time with in school were probably also neurodiverse. I've heard it said that we flock together, and that seems true enough. Neither me nor my friends were diagnosed at the time we met; it was instinct, and who we seemed to fit in with. Every neurotypical person I considered a friend seemed to fall by the wayside when we left school, left work, or left hobby groups. I don't seem to be able to keep friendships with neurotypical people outside of designated spaces, though it's not for lack of trying!

I've just had a quick look on Google Scholar and there are over 2.4 million open-access papers which mention autism in some way. It's definitely a "thing" even if you don't believe in it.

Two of my four adult children (one very 'Rainman' , one 'higher functioning' but has a lot of difficulties and also has ADHD both need meds to function)
I'm on a waiting list for assessment My Grandfather was undoubtedly autistic though never diagnosed.

I work with children with Autism. In my personal life I have acquaintances with likely ASD e.g. DH's boss, DH's cousin, DH's aunt, a child in DD's class, an old uni acquaintance. Considering how many people I know at least vaguely, this isn't a very high number. It's about 1% of people, so really not 'everyone'.

Of course. I’ve known multiple diagnosed neurodivergent people since the day I was born and I’m in my mid 40s. I have a picture of me aged 1 day with three people who were diagnosed well prior to my birth with various autism spectrum disorders (amongst other words). I have known the word autism since I was a tiny toddler and spent my childhood explaining it to people who had never heard it.

Everyone knows neurodiverse people. Even back when I was in school and we didn't know about most of them, someone in every class would have had dyslexia.

Utterly ridiculously to say everyone is autistic these days, I'm certainly not. I do know some wonderful people who are though.

🙄

My brother was diagnosed with ADHD in the 80's as a child, so I grew up living with a ND sibling. His wife is also ND and believes he is actually autistic. She too was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but now thinks she has bi-polar, along with other ND problems.

Otherwise, no one else I know of. 1 thing that does annoy me, is my SIL trying to diagnose everyone else as also being ND. She claimed my nan, in her 90's with dementia at the time had traits! She said my mum had traits and I too apparently showed some. Personally, I feel she says this to feel less alone. To my knowledge, I'm not ND, nor is my mum or nan.

No, although it seems that 98% of people on MN do

Ridiculous ableist comment.

Grow up.

I am ND as are my 3 children, my husband and his brothers, my niece and my dad. It's genetic so go figure

Estimates are that at least 20% of the population are ND so no, not everyone but enough of us are that it's not acceptable to ignore our needs anymore.

Better to ask if anyone out there isn't at the moment. Only 3 people I know haven't had something diagnosed over the last 10 years.

Lots, partly family related (my DCs, I suspect DH and DM) partly because I move in SEN circles because of my DCs (support groups, fellow parents of ND DC who often are themselves too). But I also have entire groups of friends and their families where no one is, same at work, I don't think anyone there is (it's a small company). So in ND circles I have totally different conversations (because we all
know so much about it and live with it) to non ND circles where it doesn't come up much and TBH they don't always really get it when it does, or say "but I do that".

similar to others, 10 years ago I’d have said I knew hardly any neurodivergent people. Now I know a lot, because it turns out most of my and DH’s family are. We figured this gradually as our kids and ALL of their cousins were diagnosed. Now I see it bloody everywhere!

It’s also true that ND people gravitate to each other. As all humans do (gravitate to people like us). I see this very much in my AuDHD daughter and it was one of the things that first made me ponder if she was ND some years ago. So I think it follows that if you’re ND then you will know lots of ND people.

Exactly this - we are neurodiverse because we all have unique brains.

I think a lot was under diagnosed, however, with 2 kids on the spectrum, brother suspect is autistic, DH being diagnosed for ADHD and I suspect my mum had ASD too, I can honestly say that a lot of people can self manage and live very happy and good lives, good jobs, and just fit into their space In The world. One of my children can't attend school due to sensory issues, the other does go to school but sensory issues are getting worse, similar time frame to my oldest child. As it's a spectrum there are loads of people who cope brilliantly, perhaps a bit quirky, often very intelligent - NT are pretty dull in comparison lol

It’s 1 in 100 people.