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Original poster

To think that women would enjoy Mothers Day more if they managed their expectations and were grateful for the simple gesture.

62 replies

Theteenagerera · 30/03/2025 12:15

Just that really…

Year after year the boards on here are full of disappointed women who feel like enough hasn’t been bought, done and prepared for Mother’s Day. No restaurant was booked, there wasn’t an expensive gift, all they got was a mumbled greeting from their teen at midday…

But really the beauty of Mother’s Day is within the small simple things, the commotion of 4 people trying to be quiet in the kitchen proudly presenting you with a granola bowl and a pot of tea, looking over the homemade nursery card which still have the tea bag stuck in the inside and bit of paper with a hand print stuck on the front which is hanging on by a thread but becomes more treasured year after year of course the bags of chocolate which has been unwrapped and delved into by little (or not so little hands) before you can say thank you.

We are having a Chinese tonight (treated by my folks that are visiting) and also a few pints in our local pub (my request) but already my small moments have been my favourite this morning. My eldest daughter who appeared blurry eyed from a night out this morning after walking the mile home so she could spend her bus fares on a £1 bunch of Daffodils for me and DH making me a cup of tea in bed while everyone else was sleeping and listening to the birds and bumble bees outside in the sunshine.

Appreciating these smaller moments of kindness and love on Mothering Sunday makes it a much happier and content day.

OP posts:
Ca55andraMortmain · 30/03/2025 12:20

I haven't seen many posts from people not appreciating things like breakfast in bed, cups of tea, hand made cards, flowers and takeaways like you mention in your post. All of the things you talk about are small but thoughtful. I've only seen people upset when their partner does nothing at all or puts next to no thought into celebrating them and everything they do for their family. It's usually also indicative of a partner who is more generally thoughtless or unappreciative. I think it's fair enough to be upset in those circumstances.

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 12:21

Oh yes, lets all bend over backwards to do everything for everyone for an entire year, and then be humbly grateful for the absolute minimum gesture in return.

FeelingLikeAFaultyNPC · 30/03/2025 12:22

I agree. The expectations, largely thanks to SM, lead to disappointment.

I am ridiculously thrilled with the, very well thought out, card and huge hugs I’ve had this morning, even though eldest woke me stumbling in at 2:30am.

I have even, happily, cooked the full English breakfast for them after nipping out to Tesco. The sun is shining and I’m lucky to have gorgeous DC, I don’t need flowers, expensive gifts or an overpriced meal out in a crowded restaurant to feel loved and appreciated, neither does DH. When small, cards from school or nursery were sufficient along with my hugs.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
Fagli · 30/03/2025 12:23

I’ve not seen that either. It’s those who aren’t respected every day have to endure another day of no thought or respect when the day is supposed to be just that.

KatzenRatzen · 30/03/2025 12:23

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 12:21

Oh yes, lets all bend over backwards to do everything for everyone for an entire year, and then be humbly grateful for the absolute minimum gesture in return.

Where you’re going wrong is a) bending over backwards to do everything for everyone, and b) seeing it as a transaction.

PaganOfTheYuleTimes · 30/03/2025 12:23

No. Piss off with the expectation that women should be grateful for the bare minimum. Lets expect better and bring up our children that women are worth more than the least you can get away with. Parenting - mothering- is hard!

CarrieOnComplaining · 30/03/2025 12:24

I have been scrolling Active Convos this a.m and thinking ‘change the name to Moaner’s Day’

When I was a kid Mother’s Day was a church event, Mothering Sunday. A home made card and Sunday School helped us make little violet posies.

When we stopped going to Sunday School it was home made card, a bunch of daffs and a cup of tea in bed for Mum. And saying ‘we’d love you’

I blame commercialisation. A big thing in the shops, restaurants offering special lunches, adverts for Spa Breaks and god knows what.

Commercialisation has boosted a sweet little day to a holiday of Easter or Birthday proportions.

And led to massive entitlement, moaning, people having a go at their kids over mini eggs (FFS) or upset with DHs for buying flowers in the wrong way.

And of course the higher currency the occasion, the greater the pull between the claims of mums of different generations and his mom / her mum.

It’s pathetic, frankly.

And if you rely on ONE DAY to get appreciation of your part as a Mum then there is a deeper problem. Sort that out before moaning about one box of chocolates or lunch with MIL.

shellyleppard · 30/03/2025 12:25

I'd be grateful if my children (19 and 16) had made the effort. Eldest got the card but forgot to remind his brother (16) to sign it.. .so a bit upset with them both today for the lack of effort. Just told them they are both old enough to take the initiative and get something organised 🫤

FreddoSwaggins · 30/03/2025 12:26

Thankfully the boards dont really have too many spolit princesses or mini egg fascists.

There are too many mother who dont get a thing or even aren't thanked verbally.

It does, however, seem full of people complaining about mothers who are upset they didn't even get an ounce of acknowledgement, they get told (most frequently by people who got loads) that they expect too much.

TeenLifeMum · 30/03/2025 12:27

Yes, let’s lower our expectations to the bare minimum because women are the problem.

My Mother’s Day isn’t amazing but we talked in advance and circumstances mean the day isn’t about me - dc have activities and commitments. I did get a cup of tea and dd1 made breakfast, card is coming later when all dc are home at the same time. I’m happy. They’ve not been lazy it’s just a case of conflicting priorities. It’s when no effort is made at all that people feel hard done by. I’ve not seen any unreasonable moans so far on here - maybe we’re reading different threads. I firmly believe the other parent should support dc and ensure the mother of their children is acknowledged. Why wouldn’t you want to make someone you love happy?

Gelatibon · 30/03/2025 12:29

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 12:21

Oh yes, lets all bend over backwards to do everything for everyone for an entire year, and then be humbly grateful for the absolute minimum gesture in return.

I think this is exactly the attitude that makes so many people miserable.

A mother's live is unconditional and ko one asks us to "bend over backwards", we do that because we want to. If you don't, don't.

Expecting children to be grateful, verges on toxic imo

Snorlaxo · 30/03/2025 12:29

Yanbu. I think that a lot of resentment comes from people who overdo Fathers Day but don’t get the same energy back.
I had a cup of tea and some Haribo from one of my ds (perfect as I don’t eat chocolate which is the more typical gift) and some tulips and a promise of a cuppa later from the other. 😊 I enjoy the acknowledgment but definitely doesn’t have not be a spectacle for social media because they are lovely the other 364 days too.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/03/2025 12:30

But really the beauty of Mother’s Day is within the small simple things, the commotion of 4 people trying to be quiet in the kitchen proudly presenting you with a granola bowl and a pot of tea, looking over the homemade nursery card which still have the tea bag stuck in the inside and bit of paper with a hand print stuck on the front which is hanging on by a thread but becomes more treasured year after year of course the bags of chocolate which has been unwrapped and delved into by little (or not so little hands) before you can say thank you.

Where are these women not being grateful for stuff like this?! All the negative posts I see are from women who have had no acknowledgement at all or who have husbands who have left them to get up early and look after the kids or who promised to book a restaurant but didn't bother. Whereas you have described a day that the vast majority of mothers would be pleased about.

zaxxon · 30/03/2025 12:34

I think the whole day should be cancelled tbh. It's such a pathetic, consumerist sham, just another relic of capitalism's takeover of rituals that were once meaningful. In our household we swerve it completely most years.

lovestorms · 30/03/2025 12:34

I dont bother with mothers day i dont get the hype for it.
My children might text later when they get up.

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 30/03/2025 12:37

The beauty of Mother’s day is that it’s nothing more than marketing hype to get people to spend money. Raise your children to show appreciation without needing to subscribe to this silly day.

MyKingdomForACat · 30/03/2025 12:37

A card signed from both sons. Perfect x

TorroFerney · 30/03/2025 12:38

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 12:21

Oh yes, lets all bend over backwards to do everything for everyone for an entire year, and then be humbly grateful for the absolute minimum gesture in return.

Why are you doing that though? No one is ever going to live up to mothers day under that pressure, it is a recipe for disaster.

TorroFerney · 30/03/2025 12:41

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/03/2025 12:30

But really the beauty of Mother’s Day is within the small simple things, the commotion of 4 people trying to be quiet in the kitchen proudly presenting you with a granola bowl and a pot of tea, looking over the homemade nursery card which still have the tea bag stuck in the inside and bit of paper with a hand print stuck on the front which is hanging on by a thread but becomes more treasured year after year of course the bags of chocolate which has been unwrapped and delved into by little (or not so little hands) before you can say thank you.

Where are these women not being grateful for stuff like this?! All the negative posts I see are from women who have had no acknowledgement at all or who have husbands who have left them to get up early and look after the kids or who promised to book a restaurant but didn't bother. Whereas you have described a day that the vast majority of mothers would be pleased about.

But that's not about mothers day, they have the same partner every day, thoughtless, mean, doesn't pull their weight. Why would it be any different on a random day in March. Why are they amazed that the shiftless oik they have a child with continues in that vein on Mothers day. I am very generous with my mother on mothers day, card chocolates, another gift and took her out for a meal, I cannot stand the woman.I do it to make myself feel better. It means nothing.

HollyBerryz · 30/03/2025 12:47

I don't know any mums that aren't happy with a small gesture. It's when there's no gesture or thought at all they get upset and that's not unreasonable.

EmmaEmEmz · 30/03/2025 12:53

I'm not bothered by mothers day in the slightest...i have good kids that recognise what I do for them all the time and a husband who does the same. Thr youngest two made cards at school. I've had no presents (
or cards) from the older two (young teens) because they know I'm not bothered, and ask for no cards on birthdays as well. However, the older two got up and looked after their little sister today off their own back so I could lie in (dad is at work), and whe I came down they made me breakfast and a coffee and are entertaining theie little sister instead of going out with their friends. Neither me or their dad has asked them to - they're good kids who would do something like that anyway. As with valentines day,I don't need a day for nt family to recognise it because they genuinely do show appreciation every day by doing their fair share around the house, saying thankyou for the lifts, bringing me a coffee in bed some mornings etc.

Inwardly, I do sort of roll my eyes a little when I see people getting upset about not being recognised on mothers day BUT I also appreciate that's it not fair of me to think that way because some mums dont get shown any appreciation the rest of the year and that one day DOES mean something to them.

i definitely think It's more about actions than material items though. I'd much rather the 'happy mothers day mum' and hug from my teenager, the 'c'mon little sister, let's go and play upstairs and let mum chill for an hour', the badly made cuppa from the 10 year old or the excited bouncing on my head at 7am by the youngest who couldn't wait to tell say 'happy mothers day' than cards and presents

gingercat02 · 30/03/2025 12:53

I got a card and a new pilates mat. Delighted.
DS was going to get flowers on Friday but he was with a friend who's mum died suddenly just before Christmas so being a kind lad he didn't. He was going to go out this morning and I told him there was no need.
We should all be grateful for the blessings we have, lots no longer have mothers or have mothers they wish were different 🩷💐

hoodiemassive · 30/03/2025 13:00

I agree. My Mother (who I am nc with) used to moan every Mother's Day-didn't matter how much care I took in choosing flowers and a gift, they were never enough.

It's made me pleased to just have a normal relationship with my own kids where I can appreciate their efforts to show me they love me.

BurntBroccoli · 30/03/2025 13:06

I’m alone today (single) but I’m grateful for the lovely card I was sent, the phone call and the text messages saying I love you.

BusyBeatle · 30/03/2025 13:42

ohnowwhatcanitbe · 30/03/2025 12:21

Oh yes, lets all bend over backwards to do everything for everyone for an entire year, and then be humbly grateful for the absolute minimum gesture in return.

This really…