To think that women would enjoy Mothers Day more if they managed their expectations and were grateful for the simple gesture.

[Theteenagerera]

Just that really…

Year after year the boards on here are full of disappointed women who feel like enough hasn’t been bought, done and prepared for Mother’s Day. No restaurant was booked, there wasn’t an expensive gift, all they got was a mumbled greeting from their teen at midday…

But really the beauty of Mother’s Day is within the small simple things, the commotion of 4 people trying to be quiet in the kitchen proudly presenting you with a granola bowl and a pot of tea, looking over the homemade nursery card which still have the tea bag stuck in the inside and bit of paper with a hand print stuck on the front which is hanging on by a thread but becomes more treasured year after year of course the bags of chocolate which has been unwrapped and delved into by little (or not so little hands) before you can say thank you.

We are having a Chinese tonight (treated by my folks that are visiting) and also a few pints in our local pub (my request) but already my small moments have been my favourite this morning. My eldest daughter who appeared blurry eyed from a night out this morning after walking the mile home so she could spend her bus fares on a £1 bunch of Daffodils for me and DH making me a cup of tea in bed while everyone else was sleeping and listening to the birds and bumble bees outside in the sunshine.

Appreciating these smaller moments of kindness and love on Mothering Sunday makes it a much happier and content day.

It's interesting.

I have just stepped away from a thread where a poster was being criticised for schools doing nothing to help primary school children make cards despite it being a long standing tradition.

Remember kids at school may be getting fed a diet of mother's day being toxic as there are plenty of dysfunctional families of bereaved children so celebrating the event is crass.

We have to maintain mothers day as a celebration of mothering as there are quite a few folk who would wish it to quietly face away. The religous founding of the day has meant a lot of institutions why away from public recognition. Including schools.

All this hype for one day .
People should just feel grateful they have children at all . I’m sure a lot of people in the world would give up every lie in and breakfast in bed if it meant they could have the love from their own child every single day.
Thats what matters not one day which has been created for card shops and pubs to make money .

So children aren't meant to think showing gratitude to parents is a good thing? Who are children meant to show gratitude to? Teachers, health care staff? Should we not appreciate the un paid work parents do or their unconditional love? Wouldn't it be sad if children weren't encouraged to do this?

There is something a little Orwellian in children be expected to give appreciation to state workers and strangers but not to the family. His knows there are pressures enough on families without people arguing against mothers day.

Don't be so silly! Mothers Day was not created for card shops and pubs. You need to research the origins of the day before posting such rubbish.

I hope mothers don't read posts like this and take them seriously. Being a mum is bloody hard work and it isn't too much to have this recognised once a year. It doesn't have to be something fancy or expensive but acknowledgment matters. I am fed up of these weird toxic threads that crop up on Mother's Day and Christmas Day that try to make women feel silly or petty for expecting their loved ones to make some sort of effort. I have received some lovely cards and gifts today and have felt loved and cared for. My DH wanted to recognise all that I do for the family and my children are learning the value of kindness and how good it feels to think of and acknowledge others.

So no, it isn't 'enough" to have children and women don't have to just be grateful about this. There is absolutely no excuse for your loved ones not to recognise you on this special day. I will do the same for my DH on Father's Day and I have made a fuss of my mum and MIL. Everyone has had a great day and relationships have been strengthened. I will never be convinced that your sanctimonious, miserable approach is superior.

I agree although I don't do domesticity on mother's day. So either :

1. They cook
2. We go out or 3)We don't eat a cooked meal

@Bumpitybumper

I agree.

There seems to a growing po facedness about mother's day when so many respect and enjoy this important event. It actually seems quite entitled to teach children not to acknowledge the day as it is an important life lesson in gratitude and relationships that shape and bind us.

I think it is is quite negative to down play mothers day because there are complex social problems such as remote or abusive parents, bereavement and infertility. People can't be cast as callous for wanting to celebrate mothers day as I am absolutely sure people can be emphatic and simultaneously want to celebrate and express gratitude for motherhood.

We don't want mothers day to go the way of fathers day where because of absentee fathers there seems to be social push to down play the event for sensitivity reasons. Sometimes it feels that we can't acknowledge positives because people demand we look at the negatives.

in all my years on MN I have never seen anyone moaning about not having an expensive gift. I have seen them hurt by a lack of any effort at all and then seen them chastised by people like you who have had the occasion marked.

I think what puts more pressure on is nauseatingly saccharine portrayals of Mother’s Day like the one in your op @Theteenagerera

It's social medias fault they want all the stuff so they have a picture to post 😆 the days lost all meaning now

But the things you’ve described are exactly what some people would’ve loved but didn’t get.

I think mothers day is much like valentines day. If you feel loved/valued/respected all year around then you probably don't see the need for a big celebration on mothers day/valentines. If you don't, and you're telling yourself that your family DO love/respect/value you and they'll prove it on MS/VD, and then they do nothing... that's totally shit all round!

Women should expect far more, rather than far less. When, as vast numbers of Mners are, women are in unequal relationships where they’re stuck with 90% of the household gruntwork, occasions take on a disproportionate importance. I had a cup of coffee in bed, some tulips and a card from DS, but because DH dies his share of household/childrearing it didn’t need to make up for a full year of drudgery.

👏👏👏👏