Thread 17 - TalkLair: "Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge."

[RasaSayangEh]

(Previous thread 16).

Spring is springing, daffodils blooming all over our LairGarden, which have not all been picked by a neighbour's kid...

In the TalkLair, the hearth is glowing, books by non-approved authors line the shelves, cosy rugs are down on the floors looking a bit stained by cat hairball regurgitation. The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch though, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics. We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

That sounds wonderful @Britinme! I hope you’ll share your finished poem here ❤️

Oh I'll probably work on it some more but here it is so far.

Sundowning

He is on a trip to sweep out
ancestral tombs, sacred duty
performed piously every year.
Some are people he remembers.

It's sunset and he is resting
on a sidewalk bench, a suitcase
next to him on the ground. People
walk behind him but he is lost,

gazing at the peach sky shading
towards darkness. He is not sure
exactly where he is, only
that it seemed important to go.

In the suitcase are items from
the hotel room he's left - shampoo,
soap, shower cap, a curtain tie,
two towels, a hairdryer, mugs,

plastic tray, the hotel kettle
piled in higgledy-piggledy
with clothes, some being his wife's,
who is currently tracking him

with the Airtags she's put on keys
and wallet, things that he rarely
forgets, though sometimes he forgets
to put on a shirt or his shoes.

@Britinme That made me cry.

Oh @Britinme that's beautiful and now I have something in my eye...

Oh thank you! I do appreciate hearing your response.

Beautiful, @Britinme just beautiful.

I loved reading about your horse therapy @FagsMagsandBags . Horses are such amazing animals, sometimes they can look right into your soul and understand you. The rest of the time they are homicidal/suicidal shitbags so it's all balance!

Hoppy Easter everyone! Assume some of you will be off to church this morning 🐣

We raided Waitrose 15 minutes before closing time last night, the reductions were slightly disappointing but we did get a slightly-discounted Lindt blood orange egg and a raspberry & lemon torta. DDs have decreed that we must return to Waitrose at opening time tomorrow in case there are more reductions

Happy Easter threadsters. We have DH’s cousin joining us for lunch today so I have defrosted a turkey breast crown that’s been lurking in the freezer since Christmas. I roasted it yesterday, having discovered at Christmas that roasting these joints the day before and allowing them to get cold without carving results in a much juicier turkey once carved and reheated with some gravy the next day. I also made a lemon cake for dessert, which I frosted with a lemon cream cheese frosting and will decorate with mini-eggs and little chocolate bunnies.

Thanks, Kuc.

The cooks made a good spread, devilled eggs, a watermelon basket with little chocolate eggs, normal sized Easter eggs, garlic prawns, lamb, potatoes Dauphinoise, turkey and loads of veg and salad.

We have two serious Catholics (Polish and Italian) who made a point of going round the ship, wishing everyone a Happy Easter.

Ooh, @SinnerBoy ... now I'm absolutely starving!

My Easter lunch was a piece of toast with hummus and a tomato, followed by half an apple, half a pair and a couple of medjool dates. We only really mark Easter with chocolate so I do have a marbled chocolate bunny to tackle later on.

Rasa’s Waitrose bargain chocolate reminds me of the time someone at work was nipping out to Waitrose after lunch and asked if anyone wanted anything. It being just after Easter, I gave them a pound and requested as many Malteaster bunnies as could be procured with it. Before Easter I think it was two or maybe three for a pound (or 60p for one, I think) so I hoped to get lucky with five or six bunnies but actually scored ten! Bunnies all round!

Happy easter, all! We've successfully egg hunted (never too old for an egg hunt) and have a date and walnut cake in the oven.

Happy Easter all!

I woke at 3.30 and couldn't get back to sleep because I knew I'd be getting up at 5.00 (totally irrational) so I'm very knackered now. Dawn Mass was lovely and all your intentions were prayed for (privately, by me, I didn't parade you in front of a multitude), special mentions for Fags and for Kuc's dad.

I nearly copped out of cooking dinner but eventually managed to put two nice juicy lamb chops in the air fryer with garlic, herbs and sherry, and cook runner beans and broccoli in the microwave - also to reheat a spud I baked yesterday. All good, and minimal effort - pouring out a bowl of cornflakes would have taken as much effort. And lovely black grapes. Then made inroads into the bottom layer of a box of chocs I was given for Christmas. And had WINE!

TLDR alert ... may I vent? I have had yet another day from hell, with Mr G's Alzheimer's combining with a very high temperature, delirium, possible UTI and the shits. (The last may have been caused by an excess of delicious healthy Bombay red lentils last night! Mea culpa.) I called 111 - who were lovely - and said the 999 people would call back, warning me that this might take up to six hours. The 999 woman was equally great and said she'd send a 999 GP, but it might take up to (yes!) six hours. Neither of them wanted to send him to A&E unless it was absolutely necessary (for which I thank them, because we'd still be there, surrounded by families of 8, one person with a bit of a sore finger and all of them scoffing McDonald's while shrieking at the top of their voices).

Both the callback and the arrival of the GP took about 2 hours each, which was something of a relief. The GP (an incredibly handsome young African, from one of the countries where the men are.charming, tall and slender ... so it wasn't all bad from my point of view) had all the testing kits with him, said Sir was probably fighting a UTI, handed over antibiotics and told me to call 999 if things deteriorate.

One problem is that MrG has not lost the ability to "pull himself together" in front of strangers and medical professionals. But I am his "safe space" and the moment they are gone, he reverts to wailing "I have dementia!" I honestly wish one of us would die, preferably me because then I wouldn't have to bloody deal with it!

And ... breathe!

oh Gonners, so sorry, that was a tough day. I can relate (a bit - looking after a doolally parent is much easier psychologically than looking after a doolally spouse). I hope the antibiotics kick in and that you both have a chance to sleep.

That's rough, Gonners. It is so hard having to deal with that 24/7. My mate around the corner is in a not dissimilar situation with his aged Mum (although without the shits, at the moment, anyway). But I'm sure the knowledge that's there's farsands of you (95% female, natch) is scant consolation.

That sounds so stressful @Gonners. I’m glad you got to talk to the handsome young African doctor at least, I hope he had that lovely handsome accent too.

My friend is going through it with her dad. She went round to take him out for Easter lunch and found him on the floor where he’d been for several hours. It took another couple of hours to get him up and then he got stuck on the loo. He’s not doolally as such, just frail and 90-something. She finds it incredibly frustrating that he carries on as if nothing’s wrong. Yesterday he went on an expedition to Asda for marmalade and geraniums which ended with him having to be put into a taxi by a stranger, and last week she found him on his back in the garden after trying to mow the lawn.

Sympathies @Gonners . That’s very hard.

Oh @Gonners that sounds incredibly stressful. So glad the 111/999 system worked smoothly and you didn’t end up in A&E. Elderly parent wrangling is bad enough (and my mum doesn’t have dementia as far as we know, she’s just very old and can’t see or hear much which means she does get confused and frustrated by all sorts of things) but coping with a partner with dementia must be heart breaking.

@Gonners I gave you a heart not because I'm happy about your day, but love to you. UTIs are just the cherry on the dementia cake but at least when treated there's notable improvement short term. Why do old people refuse to drink properly, it's hugely frustrating. I'm sorry that life is so hard for you and you're in my thoughts.

@DeanElderberry your prayers mean an awful lot to me so thank you from my heart. I might put up a photo later of the plant stand I put together as a friend read the instructions. This was so I could move my statue of Our Lady into my bedroom/living room. The nurses are going to think I've caught religious mania when she has always been around! I bought some lovely plants too, so it's very pretty.

@Gonners Oh poor you and poor MrG! It's already so hard and with illness and stubbornness on top of everything... Fingers crossed the antibiotics kick in and today is a better day.

Thank you for your lovely prayers @DeanElderberry - from a lifelong atheist!

@SinnerBoy and @Britinme Your Easter feasts sound delicious 😋

Just seen the news that the Pope has died. I hope the cardinals will elect somebody else as forward-thinking as Francis, but I suspect we might end up with another Benedict because the world appears to be turning in that direction at the moment.

I assume meeting J D Vance yesterday made the Pope lose the will to live.

My first reaction was “it was JD Vance”.