Friend's whatsapp policing

[woowoowoo98]

name change

my friend is constantly on WhatsApp. if she sends a message and she sees you are/have been on line but not read her message then she gets the arse. If the message is not read for some time she will check your last seen several times during the day and then get arsey that you have been online more than once but not read and/or replied. She wont admit she has the arse, instead she will purposely delay replying back to you, like you did to her (in her mind).

She will make comments like 'you were up late' even when you have not spoken to her that eve on whatsapp. She is clearly checking everyone's last seen.

If I were to turn off my last seen, she would be fuming at me, I just know she would. She is obsessed with whatsapp, checking last seen and receiving a reply as soon as you have read her message - which in doing so, prompts a further reply from her and before you know it you are back and forth on a conversation while trying to have a family night at home, for example. If I were to say something like ''sorry, can't chat now as watching a film with DC'' she would be ok with it, but then if you accidentally checked your whatsapp after saying that, or you got a call/message you needed to read she would be checking last seen and get pissed off

the whole thing is draining

If you turn off last seen, can you still see when others were last seen?

Maybe mention to her stalking is an offence.

Why are you worried about her getting upset? Let her get upset. She's being weird, and her own weirdness will be the cause of any upset.

Turn off your Last Seen, and then when she asks about it, tell her exactly why you did it. People always seem so scared of upsetting their friends when their friends are quite happy to do something that upsets them. If she's really a friend, she'll realise she was being weird and get over it.

No you can't

I did too, donkey's years ago, before whatsapp. He'd get the text read receipt and if I didn't reply within a minute (not even exaggerating) he'd text and say 'Sarah I know you read it, where's your reply?'
Ugh.
Life is too short to deal with people like that.

Very stalker like behaviour.

I would be muting her chats personally and backing away slowly

This^ change your settings and stop being so bothered about what she thinks. Her behaviour is demanding and controlling. You can't change her, what you can do is put a boundary in. The only part that's tricky is recognising that if it bothers her that's not anything to do with her and is very much a her problem.

Just turn it off. All the drama for no reason. It’s a her problem if she gets pissed off. You’re an adult and can do what you want without having to justify yourself to anyone. You don’t answer to her

This is utterly bizarre. Who does that. I leave messages to reply when I’ve got some
time. Sometimes I’ll be online in the meantime to send a text to my husband or read a message without being able to respond.

OP if you really don’t want to turn off last seen then this may help- not sure if anyone else has mentioned as haven’t read all posts but if you have WhatsApp set to show message previews you can long hold the message on your Home Screen and it lets you view the message without having to open WhatsApp fully. I’m not sure if you can reply to messages this way but you can deffo view them

If I were to turn off my last seen, she would be fuming at me, I just know she would

So what? Sounds like a good way to end this bizarre friendships. Seriously, OP-good friends do not behave like this!

She sounds like a deranged and controlling arse bandit.

Fuck that shit.

Block and delete her sorry ass and live your life without oxygen thieves like her.

If you dont, then you're just as nuts as her.

Ive turned off blue ticks on whatsapp.

OP you have a very low bar for friends, if this a friend, she sounds a regular pita.
My message would be something like ' Off you pop Candice go and find a life' then block her on everything

Let her fume! What is she going to do, come round and skelp your bum?

Your friend's addiction to WhatsApp is not your problem.

Turn off 'last seen' if you wish, it's your account not hers.

If she’s like this about What’s app what is she like about other things ?
Sounds like she has too much time in her hands and is hyper vigilant.
can’t you tell her how suffocating this is and actually worrying behaviour.

God that's so weird
I've turned off my last seen and read receipts

I’d tell her she’s mental. I’d have done that ages ago.

Out of nosiness, how do other people react? Although you say that this friend will sulk and be annoyed if you are slow to reply, it doesn’t sound as though she actually has a go at you for it. Definitely switch off “last seen” but I wonder if the trick is to care a lot less how someone appears to feel about stuff like WhatsApp.