Friend's whatsapp policing

[woowoowoo98]

name change

my friend is constantly on WhatsApp. if she sends a message and she sees you are/have been on line but not read her message then she gets the arse. If the message is not read for some time she will check your last seen several times during the day and then get arsey that you have been online more than once but not read and/or replied. She wont admit she has the arse, instead she will purposely delay replying back to you, like you did to her (in her mind).

She will make comments like 'you were up late' even when you have not spoken to her that eve on whatsapp. She is clearly checking everyone's last seen.

If I were to turn off my last seen, she would be fuming at me, I just know she would. She is obsessed with whatsapp, checking last seen and receiving a reply as soon as you have read her message - which in doing so, prompts a further reply from her and before you know it you are back and forth on a conversation while trying to have a family night at home, for example. If I were to say something like ''sorry, can't chat now as watching a film with DC'' she would be ok with it, but then if you accidentally checked your whatsapp after saying that, or you got a call/message you needed to read she would be checking last seen and get pissed off

the whole thing is draining

i have last seen and read receipts turned off as i use WA business.
your friend would drive me nuts.

Turn off the last seen and consider if this friend is someone you want in your life if they're willing to throw a tizzy over something as insignificant as WhatApp behaviour.

Grow a spine and stand up to this person. Why are you letting her dictate your usage. If she mentions you being up late etc, ignore it or tell her it’s none of her business.

You have a right to privacy and uninterrupted time with your family. If changing your settings is an acceptable option, do that. I took a more final route; I blocked someone for stalking me on FB. He was an old schoolfriend whose online behaviour was turning needy and even slightly creepy. It would have been too much under better circumstances and at that time, I had a husband undergoing cancer treatment and a dissertation to get done. (Things turned out well on both counts.) I have a suspicion that if I hadn't taken the hard line I did, things would have escalated. However, this wasn't someone I had dealings with IRL. Nor did he have a squad of flying monkeys he could send after me. There were no consequences, only a huge sense of relief after I'd cut him adrift. This solution may not be for you, but it may be worth considering if your friend continues to intrude into your family time.

You need to be upfront. Tell her you're finding her behaviour creepy and stalkerish.

Last seen switched off.
Blue ticks off.
The End.
She can rage and complain and whatever. Let her get on with it.
You determine how and when you use WhatsApp.
I had someone like this and switching off last seen and blue ticks definitely calmed it down a bit. I also excluded her from seeing my status too because she used to go mad if I had anything on there that didn't involve her - such as concerts with musical groups. She'd say things like "You've got time to play in a concert but you haven't got time to see me".
And then I gradually faded her out by replying to her less and less.

are you friends with my ex friend 😣

after five VERY painful years I went completely no contact with someone who did this. I had to turn my last seen off on all social media/communication platforms. My phone was permanently on DND and if I didn't reply to a message within what was deemed an acceptable time frame in her mind, she would message via multiple platforms, eventually contacting my children/work.

We're talking about no reply for less than 2/3 hours at most

Block and delete - you dont need this draining, intrusive and hostile character in your life. Raise your bar.

It sounds suffocating, turn it off.

I didn’t know this, thank you!

You sound scared of her.

So what if she fumes at you, just laugh at her, she’s not the boss of you!

Oh turn it off and let her fume. Who gives a shit if she’s annoyed

Sorry if i missed it, but other than commenting 'you were up late' what other comments does she actually make, what does she say?

@Daisyvodka she once said to me "I thought you were at the cinema, I've just seen you on line"
She insisted her DH have his last seen on, it was previously off

This is nuts 😵‍💫

Let her fume. More reason to turn it off and block if she kicks off. She's not the boss of you

These are the sorts of things I would get. It's really hard to explain to anyone else because it sounds 'silly'. Everyone else in my life would say "let her be angry" or "just ignore it" etc, but for me it was almost like a controlling relationship. I just couldn't shake her, our DDs were in the same (very small) hobby group and so we were with each other 5/6 days a week.

How come she has so much time for this?

Oh in that case just block her. She's not your bloody mother.

Turn off last seen and just tell her it’s an information security recommendation you’ve heard about (which is true if somewhat stretching). Embellish by informing her that fraudsters use it to determine the likelihood of being rumbled.

She sounds like Veruca Salt ffs. Let her fume and fume about you not replying fast enough,until she can fume no more 😁

You are guessing what she is thinking and may well be right but if she is annoyed let her be annoyed and try not to let it impact you. You have done nothing wrong. She probably even know she is being unreasonable. And if delayed reply is "payback" it isn't really a big deal is it?

She needs to get a job in mi5

She sounds like a very lonely, rather sad, massive curtain twitcher and needs to get an actual life, as opposed to being on her phone all the time.
Turn off your "last seen". So what if she gets the hump. What's she going to do? Make you switch it back on so she can stalk you better?!