Potentially life changing inheritance - wwyd?

[NotThatWise]

First time poster, apologies if I missed info or added too much detail.

I have recently inherited my childhood home, owned for 40 years, we are the only people to have ever owned it. House is mortgage free.

I’ll try and layout the facts, and I’m interested to know what other people would do in this situation. What would your future look like?

Childhood home value £350k
My home value £325k, £100k left on mortgage
Both houses are the same size in the same town.
DH (47) and I (43) plus 2 children (8 &12).

I agree that talking to someone independent might help OP.

You don't sound happy in your home and the area, but that do ant means you have to move right now.

I do think it would be beneficial to decide a) if you want to be a landlord (personally, I didn't enjoy it and found it quite stressful at time).
b) whether you want to move into the family home.

If it's a definite no to both, I think id get the house on the market in order to avoid costs, degradation and the risk of squatters etc.
It might be a bit of a wrench but that's because you miss your dad 💐 not the bricks & mortar.

Given neither house meets your needs I’d definitely sell both and start fresh. Exciting!

I would rent out one of the houses to pay the remaining mortgage. I’d live in the best house and see the other as my pension

Sadly my job is not that interesting, but how I got there is (with the support of my DH!). I’m currently a software developer. I started on a 6-week temp contract in a school as a Chemistry technician and while there I talked my way into the IT Department (with zero qualifications!) and my first job was putting paper in printers (way back in 2003!), and from there I’ve trained in hardware, software, networking, and then web development, programming, and more recently Power BI/ PowerApps and now Prince2….all for the same company!! I love what I do, but most people find it boring 🤣 x

Or sell both houses and buy something better (not necessarily bigger) and put a chunk into pensions

I would stick both on the market and whilst my heart would buy the £650k home, my head would buy a £500k home and a £150k rental to bring in some extra income (obviously depending where you are in the country but the prices you're offering suggest this is possible). But, it obviously completely depends on what you really want as a family.

Only eating together on Christmas Day is unusual, and sad. Hopefully a bigger kitchen/dining area would prompt more time together but are devices actually part of the problem?

Pick the one you like best. Fix it to your preference and stick the rest of it in high interest savings bc that’s not that much money really.

It’s a no to both. Our home holds us back as it’s cramped, but my family would never move into my childhood home, and the tbought of being a landlord terrifies me!
I’m scared of losing my memories if I sell my childhood home, but I think reading these comments it’s the best way forward with some counselling to help me ❤️

I would not max out the budget, sellboth and buy something under the value of the two houses together, as you say you have 2 kids a 4 bed house is plenty big enough. A nice place where you can see yourselves staying. I would put some into pensions and be mortgage free having substantial savings is a good thing keep savings in your name for 2 reasons one if an inheritance was never in marital pot if things did go pear shaped it is still in your name and secondly if you put savings in your kids names you could not access the money even if you needed it and now they would gain access to it all at 18 which may not be wise, if it is still yours you can give it them at 25 or later if you want, you said that they were left a decent sum anyway

Devices aren’t the problem, it’s having nowhere to sit together that’s the problem, and while we all face our corner of the room at different times of the day, devices offer the only entertainment. Around a table we can talk, which is my hope x

I'm sorry to hear that, how miserable. You definitely need more space . . . therapy sounds like a good way to move forward but perhaps just putting both on the market and making the move for the home that provides that family living you need is the best answer? Best of luck x

This is lovely advice and very clear. Thank you. I’m scared of spending it all on a house, especially as I no longer have my dad to go to when I need help ☹️ x

You never lose your memories and things don’t hold your memories, you do. Other than that it’s just things.

I think I would sell your childhood home. As you said you wouldn't move into it. Renting it out IMO would be awful if the tenants ruined the house it could be very hard. Also being a landlord can be a pain.

I'd sell the house, and 'sit' on it for a little while, you don't have to decide now. Then maybe sell your own house and buy the one of your dreams

I do get what it is like to have your childhood home sold. It creates a lot of difficult emotions. I've kept my old key, and I will always have my memories

Thank you, your words and understanding mean a lot 😊

I'd sell both houses but not completely uproot the children. So keep them at their schools. Buy a larger house, maybe further out to get more for your money and not be overlooked. Put the rest into pensions and encourage your DH to spend some on studying or retraining.

I'd sell both properties then buy a bigger one somewhere you're all happy with.

You're cramped in your current home, makes no sense to stay there. Get your childhood home on the market ASAP, then once you've figured out where you want to move to, get your current house on the market.

Make sure you put the house sale proceeds in a high-interest account, can even stick £50K into premium bonds. But make sure you split it up, no more than £85K into each banking GROUP.

With the age you are now and your children and DH, he could easily retrain for a career and pull his weight financially for the next 15 years. Not sure what he sacrificed to allow you to work but not enough to swan around his whole life. Have you ever thought you wouldn't be in a small cramped house now if he had pulled his weight more?

I guess I feel a bit defensive of you because I know someone who had a similar issue. She inherited a lot (upper 7 figures) when her mother passed away and all her husband could talk about was what "we" can do with the money. He was all about what his dreams had been and how they could live here and go there and buy this. She was so deep in grief (similar to you, sudden and unexpected) and needed time to grieve and he was acting like a lottery winner. In the end she invested it while she was sorting her head out. He was furious, left her and tried to get half of it in the divorce. He ended up with almost nothing as he spent his half of their house value on legal fees, and she kept her inheritance.

I hope I didnt upset you.

Then I would most definitely concentrate on buying a bigger home (and then finding a way to make the time to eat together). Very best of luck with whatever you do.

I didn’t use a solicitor, I did all the paperwork myself. Inheritance tax forms and probate were all done by me.
But you’re right, the costs of keeping both going will soon cripple me. Luckily council tax let you have 6 months off in these circumstances otherwise I’d be bankrupt!
Sadly neither our house or inheritance house meet our needs as both are the same size (I was an only child so plenty of room, but I have 3 kiddos).
I do take onboard your comments about running a bigger house - all things I hadn’t considered x

Sell both and look for a house c.£500K. Keep the rest as a buffer.

It’ll cost you more money, make sure you can afford it first. Bigger house, bigger bills

I get what you’re saying but DH was never academic, he’s a great dad and has pulled me through the last few months when I couldn’t cope, but he’s not the sort of person who can retrain….in anything. I offered it many years ago but it wasn’t an option. He’s a highly qualified football coach and does loads of voluntary work with kids, but that doesn’t pay the bills lol. I like to think we are Ying and Yang - I’m academically smart and he is street smart. Our eldest (21) earns a considerable salary with no uni or sixth form, and I like to think that’s a combo of us both - and he’s now buying his first house on his own. And DH mostly sacrificed his mental health - being a SAHD isn't for everyone.
But I really appreciate your comment and thoughts x

Estate agent here. If you sold either house today, it could take 4-6 months for the sale to go through so keep that in mind with regards to your council tax holiday. It really does sound like you’re not happy where you are so I would consider selling both and buying something a little bigger and then keeping some money for your pension/rainy day. If you were to buy a second property, just keep in mind you’d have to pay two lots of stamp duty (depending on the price)