What makes someone likeable

[backtoworkat55]

I was thinking about this the other day.

I have a friend who everyone likes, she has lots of friends and on her birthday receives lots of cards. I have a colleague who is the same, everyone just seems to like her.

I have friends but I don't know if I'm likeable.

This may seem old-fashioned, but the qualities in other people that go the distance are reliability and trustworthiness, not likeability.

I know someone who is supremely well connected, she kind of hoiks her way through life using her connections to get what she wants, her network is vast and high she uses it like a kind of currency. She's charming, outgoing, and can adjust herself to who she's dealing with...and yet when you get close to her you come to realise she has a darker side and it's actually very hard to connect with her in an authentic reciprocative way. Her family keep their distance and actually she has very little close friends. It's rather 'you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' or 'i can connect you with the guy you need' sort of thing. I wouldn't say she gets all the cards, but she certainly gets what she wants materialistically and in terms of validation she likes to be The Agent. I think there's a difference between this kind of operator and the type who people are genuinely authentic in how they make others feel on a day to day, week to week basis.