I hate my cat. I did not sign up for this

[Ragcatdoll]

3 year old male ragdoll. Bought from reputable breeder as a kitten. Researched the breed before buying. Consensus was I was signing up for a “living breathing teddy bear who will follow you everywhere”.

Reality is an unfriendly bored cat whose only aim in life is to leave his home. He has a 3 storey house to explore. Cat trees. Multiple toys. His 3 year old sister from same litter to play with. Attention all day from my grown up DS who works from home and my DH.

Did I mention I spent 4k professionally cat proofing my garden which he has access to 24/7 via a cat flap? Still not happy.Sits by front door screaming day and night to go out. Tries everything to get out the front including leaping from 2nd floor window which he did on Saturday. I’ve had enough.

Hes spent all day crying at the front door to go outside even though he has a secure back garden!!

I can’t cope with him anymore. Didn’t sign up for this. Not sure what else I can do except let him go outside the front where we have a road, a quiet road, but a road none the less. All I see on social media are ragdolls who lay around the house sleeping all day quite content.

His sister is lovely, loves her back garden & is a content little thing. He on the other hand is making the whole family miserable,

Obviously I can't speak for what your cat would do but just to give my perspective, my boy was neutered and had a gps tracker on, and would roam away from our quiet road and go about half a mile away, crossing busy roads etc., we tried to keep him in at one point but he was crying at the door all day so let him back out, he ended up getting hit by a car and killed before he turned 2. The driver didn't even stop and call the vet. A gps tracker can't stop this and actually added to my worry because I could see him crossing roads that I didn't want him on.

We also found out that multiple houses were feeding him and coaxing him in there houses, despite him being well looked after and having a collar, he was a different breed to yours but a similarly beautiful and sought after breed. My two current cats are indoor cats due to this as I couldn't put myself through that trauma and guilt again. I know many people will disagree with this though.

They're not classed as pets in the same way dogs are are they? I think that's the reason. I agree about birds and other wildlife too, they can be a menace. Cats kill 50 million birds per year. If I had a cat who brought home an injured bird I think I'd cry.

He wants to go outside, cats do. Thet love to roam and hunt, they are animals not soft toys.

I'd never really heard of Ragdoll cats before, but a cat deliberately bred to stay indoors and to be so dumb it doesn't have the natural survival instincts of a cat seems utterablerably cruel and stupid. Humans are the worst.

Keeping a cat locked inside (even with access to a garden) is the equivalent of getting a bird and never letting it out of the cage to fly, or getting a rabbit and keeping it locked inside a hutch.

Cats are hunters, roamers, explorers. While they may be some who are content inside, OP's clearly isn't and I can't believe so many people are happy with the idea of keeping it locked up for potentially another 15+ years when it's clearly unhappy.

If you're too anxious to allow your cat to roam and behave naturally then you shouldn't have a cat.

Is he neutered?

Have you tried a pheromone plug in or catnip on his toys?

I think you'll have to let him out.

As a cat lover I feel so sorry for this poor cat, he will definitely feel that you don't love him. I would take him from you if I lived near you. I hate to think of this cat so unloved and hated. All cats need love . I'm sorry that he is not the cat you want him to be. It makes me so sad that you might let him out and then if anything happened to him he would never have known love. Can't you return him to where you got him from?

Has he been done? As if not he's prob screaming to get out to any lovely ladies in the area....or could just be bored inside and wants to explore

Is he neutered? Even if they are, some cats are outdoor cats. They consider the garden their territory as well as the house. Either that or someone else is feeding better food.

I would love him. Cats are independent. If you let them come and go as they like, they will love you forever. When was the last Vet check? He might have a bladder infection or another condition which makes him want to be outside.

If your child was constantly wanting the toilet, you would go to the GP. Same with animals. They have the same organs, with the same propensity to go wrong.

He’s just being a cat.
They don’t behave like dogs.
I had a rescue cat took a few years for him to bond and build up trust.
He used to lie on our laps of a night.
You are there when your cat wants and not the other way round.
It’s their nature.

Normally I'd say keep a ragdoll inside or in a protected garden (and I do specifically mean ragdolls, not all cats or all pedigree cats) but clearly you have tried that and he is unhappy. You can choose a long life with him screaming to be let out, or let him have a full life with the understanding that its dangerous out there and one day he might not come back. If you choose the latter, get a tracker, let your immediate neighbours know they might spot him out and about, and go out with him, introducing gradually, with a harness if he will tolerate it.
Ragdolls are particularly bad at surviving outside so you do need to factor that in. Watch him around people and cars, does he run away or does he walk up and flop over? In essence, can he do his best to keep himself safe or will he be easily catnapped? Also make sure he's had his flea/tick/worm medicine and is up to date with his vaccinations.
I have pedigree cats and they scream to be let out so I made the decision to let them out. They are terrified of people and cars and we live in a very cat-friendly area with lots of space away from roads. I can't bear them being trapped indoors, they tear at the furniture and yell at me to be let out. They do occasionally get ticks even though they are medicated; if your cat goes out be prepared to check for ticks and the disgusting job of picking them off.
Good luck!

Long time Ragdoll owner here. Unfortunately Ragdolls have been bred as indoor cats. They aren’t very street wise and are at risk being outdoors (not to mention risk of being stolen as pedigrees). You mentioned you’ve secured your garden - is it a good size and is he able to free roam out there?

My 2.5 year old Ragdoll is an absolute baby and thankfully very placid but he is playful too. Luckily we work from home so can spend time playing with him - his favourite game is hide and seek and chase! It’s a good way to burn off his energy and in better weather he is supervised outside on a harness/lead.
Talking of which, have you tried walking him on a lead OP? We trained ours quite young and have been able to walk him in the summer outside in quiet areas ie evening beach walks, quiet forest walks. He loves it and we have a cat backpack so can put him in it at any time or if we spot a dog in distance. This might be a good compromise?

Although Ragdolls are known for their gentle, docile nature some are definitely more spirited than others!

Unfortunately Ragdolls have been bred as indoor cats.

See, I think that's just cruel. It's no different to breeding dogs who are too deformed to walk or breathe properly.

Is he neutered?

On the other hand I’ve lost count of the amount of outdoor cats I’ve known to have been killed by cars 🤷‍♀️ I don’t feel my cat has a cruel life, in fact the total opposite; he is absolutely doted on and adored by 5 family members, played with frequently so is never bored and we do our best to ensure he spends quality time outdoors in the fresh air but safely.

I didn't say he had a cruel life, I said breeding cats to live indoors when their natural instinct is to be out and exploring is cruel.

And I stand by that. No matter how much stimulation and attention they get. It's no substitution for being outside and free.

Is he neutered? If not he’s probably trying to get out to find a girlfriend.

sorry just seen he is neutered

Did you read the post? This cat has a huge amount of space!!

What an unfair generalisation. I have a male cat who is my baby boy. He follows me from room to room and jumps in my lap any chance he gets. He’s a moggy - a rescue cat who I’ve had for a couple of years and he was only one or two when I got him. He’s more affectionate than his sister.

If he's screaming the place down at you, he will do it to anyone who tries to capture him. Besides which he's not a kitten, he's a three year neutered male cat so a bit less desirable to steal.

My boy cat has just gone out for half an hour, predictably he came in when he realised it was wet and cold outside. He's not very bright, he's very noisy and if we don't let him out he makes so much noise and starts fighting with his sister.

To compromise, our cats go out in the day and come in at night, and we do get them in 99% of the time.

Male cats always want a patch to roam and (probably!) dominate, and that will be more than a back garden. They really can't help it, whatever the breed. As they age, they usually settle for a smaller patch - but not always. Female cats like to 'possess' a smaller area, but it's still very much theirs. And however elegant the breed, they will still fight, and bite each other, and need patching up expensively. They're cats, not animated teddy bears.
If your lad can get through the cat flap, and get in and out of the garden safely, let him roam. If not, re-home him.

Not necessarily. My last cat was a boy and he didn't roam (even before we cat proofed the garden) and none of my Mum's boy cats roamed.

My girl was originally kept indoors but she always sat by the door wanting to go out and it felt cruel to keep her in so once she was spayed we let her out. She's quite happy to potter around the garden and sit on the front window ledge watching the world go by and doesn't roam far so if i were you i'd let him out.

Another vote for let him out!

Did you get it from a bad breeder? He might look like a ragdoll but breeders should mainly breed for temperament. I have 5 ragdolls and a moggy (3 unneutered breeding queens) and quite a small enclosed garden and a small 3 bedroom house and my cats are dreams - I sit outside with them for an hour or two and most come inside before I do even while in heat, no fighting or aggression and none really bother about windows. Did you neuter young? My first ragdoll was a male and he was done as soon as he made the weight, that could be a reason he's an asshole.

I'd recommend taking him out on a harness or a cat carrier out of the front so he knows it's quite boring, and use feliway inside the house and feed on a high quality food and play with him for 30 mins a day broken up with a cat wand.

Don't let him out, they're very soft slow cats and won't last long if you have a lurcher or terrier owner who walks their dogs near your green spaces. I also have a pair of lurchers and they're fine with my cats in the house but in their younger days they've accidentally got over 20 cats in fields I have permission to be in, a couple have even come right up hissing and growling to my leashed dogs after being cheeky with other dogs and my dogs have grabbed them. Cats grow bold when labs and daft dogs chase them and there's no tree to get up in time when they're scouting hedgelines for mice and a dog comes after them.