If your adult DC live at home, how much do they contribute financially?

[DanielleandBobby]

I live with my adult DS. I'm finding it tough to make ends meet like so many people, but I really want to encourage DS to save so that at some point he can move out! He's nearly 22 for context. He's only recently got a better paid job and earns roughly £1800 after tax. Currently he contributes £250 pcm towards our household expenses. He pays for his own transport, clothes, (quite expensive) hobbies, etc.

I work part-time for health/sanity reasons and am roughly £700-£800 short every month. This is coming out of the equity from the sale of my and my ex's house.

If you're in my situation with adult DC at home is what I charge him reasonable, too much, or not nearly enough? I'd be really interested to hear what others do. Even if I were wealthy enough and didn't need the money I would still want him to contribute by the way!

@ssd oh dear 😅 it's still their home! They can bring whoever they want, do whatever they want (no drugs though 😂)

But we want them to be fully functioning adults when they do finally leave. And that means they pay their way.

We wouldn't be doing them or any future partners any favours if we allowed them to live for free and not understand how the world works. We will give them a big financial hand to get them on the housing ladder, probably at a detriment to us and our financial future. So contributing now to their daily living costs isn't really a big ask!

I have 2 Adults living back at home.
My Son and his fiancée

They pay £100 each per month. I provide all food for that too and some toiletries if needed.

They are getting married next year and are saving up for that so I am happy with the amount they pay for now

@ssd

is your parents home your home? Or is it your parents home?

DH doesn't agree. He says its unfair for us to sit there with a meal we've cooked and make him do his own.

That’s a lot!!!

Our 22 year old son earns about £1900 a month net and he gives us £200 a month board.
He pays for his car, car insurance, phone, clothes, hobbies and holidays himself. We tend to cook for him
as we're both retired but he generally cooks for all of us once or twice a week.
We expect him to clean up after himself and he'll do jobs around the house when we ask him. He buys his own beer and will pay for the odd takeaway/meal out about once a month.
We don't need the money per se, but don't see why he shouldn't contribute to the family pot. When his salary increases later this year, we'll ask him for an extra £50 a month but will save this for when he moves out.

When he lived here with his plus one, they paid bugger all. They did cook (and buy) once a week. But at least he was saving for his own place, which he is now in, thank the lord!

I'm a single parent. Working two jobs despite chronic illness.

It's not unreasonable for me to ask dd to pay for her food and like your sister, Council Tax.

You have no idea the lengths I've gone to over the last decade to support her education, and to imply otherwise is frankly offensive.

We have two adults children living at home but no issues with our finances so I'm coming from a different perspective. Neither work full time hours at the moment but they do cover all their personal costs: phone, clothes, travel, entertainment etc and contribute somewhat by often buying their own food. If they earned more, I'd encourage more saving first, and if it turns into a long term situation, I'd expect their fair share of bills.

To add, we don't cook for ours, though I will offer it if it is something they like. They are welcome to help themselves from the family supplies though. They also have partners who stay over, but they tend to get their own food when that happens.

@Flossflower

presumably your sister had to buy more food when her daughter was living with her also though? And stuff like water bills etc were higher too.

Yes water maybe but no other bills. The heating was on anyway. My sisters child actually saved their mum some money with the food bill. When they were living at home, they worked for a food company (not a supermarket0. At the end of the day food was sold off at ridiculous prices

Sorry if this was a bit crass. I get upset when people say their children have full loans. It is money that has to be paid back

DD has first job since leaving uni and pays us a £200 a month which covers food, our bills would be the same whether she was living here or not, and we are fortunate to be in a position not to have to ask for more.
Her BF contributed a lot more to his single mum but now he has moved out she has been left with a significant shortfall which he felt so guilty about it nearly resulted in him not moving out.
So bottom line is you may need to up your working hours as well as asking DS to contribute more as he (hopefully! ) won't be at home forever so can't rely on his contribution long term.
In the meantime look at all household bills and food costs (I wouldn't include mortgage in this) and divide them by number of people in the house and DS pays his share.

My bills are definitely higher when DC live at home. I'm single so lose the single person discount on CT. My electric/gas are much higher. I'm on prepayment meters so can see the difference easily. I don't get cold easily but acknowledge that DC shouldn't have to suffer so my heating goes on more for them, a lot more electric gets used for gadgets, showers, cooking etc. It all adds up. While they buy their own food, I provide household stuff like loo roll, washing powder etc. Again all additional costs. I can't afford to cover all that indefinitely.

All messages taken on board. I'm staggered by the amount of really helpful and insightful replies, so thank you.

I'm going to look into whether I could get a mortgage, and for how long, and to work out all the extra costs I'm incurring by living wth my son. I'm sure we can come to a better arrangement soon. Also checking my Premium Bonds every month!

Thanks everyone 😊.

My two adult dcs live at home still and pay nothing, in fact we still pay their phones, car costs and health insurance. I must admit I don't know any other family who charge their own children to live at home (that I know of). I'm happy to let them save their money till they move out shortly as they're both responsible and hard working.

I don't know any family that still pays their adult children's phone bills.

What happens when they eventually leave home and have zero credit history? It will make financial institutions wary because zero credit history is almost as concerning to them as bad credit history.

For those on low incomes or with high rental costs I do think a realistic conversation with adult "children" is needed. Low contributions leave them with high levels of disposable income whilst their parent struggles or is even accruing debt.

As adults they should be made fully aware of the true household costs and be asked to contribute appropriately. This means sharing rent, utilities, council tax and other costs and not just contributing to food!

Twiglets1

You're right about credit history, so they're applying for credit cards

Better to have credit cards and a history of paying a mobile phone contract.

@ParsnipPuree

just get them to pay their own phone bills then they wouldn’t have to bother

Thanks Twiglets1, the youngest has just got his first job so I think that's something they could each pay for now

Tbh you need to work on your own income, charging DS more will only be a temporary measure. If he currently pays £250 a month and each month your short by £700/800 then if he moves out you will be short by at least £1000 each month

Lodger remark again! Not everyone feels comfortable accepting a stranger to come and live with them in their house!!!!

And if they're struggling what's the likihood they have a spare room for said lodger.