Why do I ruminate so much?!

[H0PPLE]

I have a particular group of friends who I see rarely, like once a year but we chat most days on text.
Saw them on Saturday and I'm still ruminating about everything I said.

I don't do this with other friends in the same way.

Can anyone help me understand why this is happening?

If you’re heading towards peri menopause age, that would be why. It gets bad in peri!

Oh. I'm 49. So I guess that fits. Any ideas about how to stop it?!

What is different about this group?

Is there something that taps into you on some way?

Have you actually outgrown them?

Peri can do this
I have noticed myself doing this and it’s usually because some is off in them or me.

For me, anxiety seems to make it worse, so I try and reduce that.

I wouldn't say I've outgrown them. We have quite different lives but I do care about what they think of me and keep going over stupid things I said. Which weren't really that stupid really.

And I guess the fact that we don't see each other very often

How do you do that?

It depends on what’s causing your anxiety, you need to work that out

I'm not sure if this is what it's meant for, but I've found EMDR works for me. It's worth a try. Tapping works for some people but did nothing for me.

I am familiar with EMDR but thought it was for trauma. Can I ask how you have found it helpful? When focussing on the trauma, would you be focussing on the things you ruminate about/ cause anxiety for example?

I ruminate an awful lot too