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Original poster

Compassionate leave - help!

72 replies

Wingingit07 · 22/02/2025 22:54

👋 hello

I need some help please! I'm so very tired and exhausted so going straight to the question... I will need compassionate leave for MIL soon (we are very close and I have children). If work offer 5 days compassionate leave can I self certify for 7 days after? Or is compassionate leave considered as the sick leave? Would I do 1 week compassionate leave then need to go to dr for a fit note?

I'm basically unsure if you can self certify for 7 days after compassionate leave or if it has to go through GP following compassionate leave

Ideally I'd require 2 weeks off.

Thank you

OP posts:

Fairyliz · 22/02/2025 22:57

You can’t self certify because you need time off; it’s for when you are sick!
Can you use annual leave or ask for unpaid leave?

WaitingForMojo · 22/02/2025 22:59

I took a week off for FIL recently, I had to take it unpaid. No compassionate leave for an in law. I could, I guess, have got signed off with stress or similar.

WaitingForMojo · 22/02/2025 23:00

His funeral was abroad, hence needing a week.

I think two weeks is more than most workplaces allow for your own parent, tbh. Unless you’re signed off sick.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Employment advice General health

crumblingschools · 22/02/2025 23:00

Not many places offer 5 days for a parent in law

InsegnanteScozzese · 22/02/2025 23:10

Why do you need 2 weeks off?

Vegboxwonder · 22/02/2025 23:14

Compassionate leave isn't classed as sickness. If at the end of your compassionate leave, you aren't well enough to return to work, you can self cert for a week. Any longer would need a fit note.

HelloNorthernStar · 22/02/2025 23:17

Why do you need sick leave? If you need longer than the 5 compassionate leave days why don’t you book annual leave?

Original poster

Wingingit07 · 22/02/2025 23:27

Thanks all.

Other threads I read people said they took sickness after compassionate leave, I assumed that was the norm I guess?! These other posters took sickness due to stress/emotional well being after their compassionate leave.

For everyone asking why I would need to take sickness, long story.. . MIL is a very close family member to me and the children and I can imagine her death will be very hard.

Thankyou for those that have answered my question and apologies to anyone I've seemingly offended by asking a question if sickness after compassionate leave is a thing.

OP posts:

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 22/02/2025 23:27

At my work I would only get time off for the funeral as compassionate leave if MIL was to die. It would be five days for my own mother, then I guess you could go off sick with stress (self certify for five days then need a GP note).

Wheelz46 · 22/02/2025 23:32

It will depend on your own company policy.

When a close family member of mine passed away, I got compassionate leave which is 5 days. I then got a sick note following the leave, again it will all depend on company policy.

YourFairCyanReader · 22/02/2025 23:43

Your employer should have a compassionate leave policy you can ask to see - if you know this is coming up it would be best to put your manager in the picture. Do you need the time off to be paid, or can you ask for some unpaid leave? Can you use some of your holiday allowance?
I'm sorry you're going through this

biscuitsandbooks · 22/02/2025 23:47

Fairyliz · 22/02/2025 22:57

You can’t self certify because you need time off; it’s for when you are sick!
Can you use annual leave or ask for unpaid leave?

Of course you can.

crumblingschools · 23/02/2025 00:03

@biscuitsandbooks it has to be justified though. Not just to add a few days off work because you feel like it or because others have done so after a bereavement

gettingthehangofsewing · 23/02/2025 00:03

Compassionate leave isn't so ck leave but you can get a sick note if you are not ready to return to work. Grief would be classed as mental health

biscuitsandbooks · 23/02/2025 00:12

crumblingschools · 23/02/2025 00:03

@biscuitsandbooks it has to be justified though. Not just to add a few days off work because you feel like it or because others have done so after a bereavement

And you can just say bereavement or stress. You don't need a note for the first week.

Ritzybitzy · 23/02/2025 00:13

I would check your work policy but it sounds like it’s dependent leave you need in order to support your children.

HellofromJohnCraven · 23/02/2025 00:26

In every place I have worked, compassionate leave is a day or 2, more at managers discretion but, in the cases where this isn't enough and the employee isn't fit to be able to work, then sick leave applies. Mental health counts as health.

Mayflyoff · 23/02/2025 00:27

Sorry if this doesn't sound compassionate, but won't your children be at school?

When my FIL died, I was the one at home making everything as normal as possible for my DC. But of course every family is different.

Redglitter · 23/02/2025 00:30

It's quite common at my work for people to go sick after special leave for a bereavement. We only get 3 days which for most people isn't enough for a close family member.

You would just self certify initially then get a line after 7 days. My GP actually put bereavement on my line as the reason.

FrogsLoveRain · 23/02/2025 01:07

This seems very premature you considering sickleave for a future event that's not an operation.

I'd be surprised that a workplace would offer 5 days compassionate leave for a non blood relative who is not a spouse.

If you think you'll need time off take annual leave / unpaid leave.

As for supporting children- are you planning on keeping them off for 2 weeks too?

Just because some other people on MN have been so impacted by a bereavement that they've also taken sickleave doesn't mean it's a right or a given or something you'll actually need.

SkyOfficer · 23/02/2025 03:40

I don't know why people can't answer a straightforward question.
OP you can self-certify and then ask your GP to sign you off. Hope you and the kids are OK x

crumblingschools · 23/02/2025 06:12

@SkyOfficer I think the issue is that the OP has already decided the amount of time off she wants, 2 weeks. Whereas with most bereavements you don’t know until it happens.

If OP had said her company only offers x number of days compassionate leave what happens if she still doesn’t feel fit to go back to work what does she do, and wanted to know how sick leave works in those circumstances she would have got different answers.

Whereas the question seems to be I want 2 weeks off, mainly to support the children, which doesn’t sound like justified sick leave to me.

SErunner · 23/02/2025 06:24

For most companies compassionate leave isn't sick leave, so yes, you can take the compassionate leave (if you meet the criteria - parents in law often don't) and then self certify for sick leave after if required. Check your policy though re entitlement to compassionate leave. Most are only an immediate blood relative or spouse eg parent/sibling.

Mumof1andacat · 23/02/2025 06:30

When my MIL died unexpectedly,I wasn't entitled to any compassionate leave. Mil in their eyes was not a close family member, so I self certified sick for a couple of days, then got signed off by the Dr for the next 10 days. So I didn't return until after the funeral.

Original poster

Wingingit07 · 23/02/2025 06:43

@crumblingschools like others have said you are unaware of the circumstances. As mentioned in my original post I'm very exhausted already and struggling and as others have said I'm just looking for an answer to a question and not to be attacked on why do you need this, should your children not be in school etc.

So for the people who are being judgmental, my husband isn't alive and my children are at nursery. My mother in law is very much in my life, but soon not to be.

My company policy doesn't state days just at discretion but I believe my company will offer 5 days given how close MIL is to me. @crumblingschools I'm not saying I'm taking 2 weeks just because other people on mumsnet have. I'm merely very lost, and navigating this myself and have seen other threads where people have taken sickness after compassionate leave (something I know I will definitely know I will need as hey guess what, I know my circumstances and know 5 days will not be enough for me) and all im seeking is clarification
I am managing children alone, a household whilst holding down a job so I know myself that I will need approximately 2 weeks and this was just me simply asking the questions for advice.before anyone says why didn't you say this in your OP, well because damn me if I thought I could post a simple question on mumsmet which highlights I'm really exhausted and would just like to ask the question without a bucket of context but I forget on mumsnet that people need to know why my children won't be at school, why would I ever use sickness for stress ...

To be clear I'm in a senior role which is stressful and goodness me never taken a sick day in my life. (OK maybe once when I was sent home for sneezing everywhere)

Thankyou for those that have posted answering the actual question rather then getting upset that they think I'm using the system to get more time off (which is what the comments feel like), or have given me suggestions with annual leave it is much appreciated. I'm just merely trying to understand how it works because guess what... I've never self certified got sickness before or needed a Dr's note...

OP posts:

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