Does anyone else not enjoy going out?

[callingyououtmrpickle]

I'm starting to think im becoming a recluse lol I absolutely do not enjoy socialising ( unless it with my very very small group of friends, but even then I can take it or leave it.

My husband is the opposite, he really enjoys socialising with work people so he can't understand my feeling.

I have a work party on sat and I just don't want to go. Unfortunately I've said I'll go and. Have paid so I will go but I dreading it already.

I never used to be like this, I think it's since I've turned 40

Am glad I kept up my hobbies now DC are grown.

Same here.

I've never enjoyed going out, unless it's with close friends or family. Big social events though where you are expected to make small talk with virtual strangers is literally my nightmare.
Much prefer cosying up in my dressing gown with a good book and the dogs for company.

@MyUmberSeal

you don’t sound like a great friend. Don’t you want to have friends?

@henlake7

does that not get boring night after night though? Variety is the spice of life!

@Makemydaypunk

maybe try a different type of holiday that you enjoy more? It’s a bit sad for you that coming home is the best bit!

I like it now and again as a break in my routine but prefer being at home on the whole.

@LuckySantangelo35 Another thread you’re all over trying to undermine other people’s choices and lives. Some people don’t want ‘’variety’. The poster isn’t saying she’s unhappy so leave her alone, and everyone else you do this to daily.

Actually OP sounds quite reasonable
I dont think most people enjoy work parties. But then the thread moved on to not enjoying even meeting close friends.

YANBU. In my twenties you couldn’t keep me in!!! By late thirties I would say my desire to go out so much was really wearing off. Now I am early 50s and a lone parent nothing makes me happier than a night in and some good telly but I think a lot of that is because I am shattered.

My 20 year old self would be shocked at what I think a Good Friday night is now.

I made a bet with myself when this thread started that someone would say the word “cosy”. I was right.

@MyDogsLoveCafes

its not undermining, im showing an interest in others perspective. Why people like the stuff they like. Its allowed. Relax.

I feel the same. Until having kids at 32 I couldn't stay in, now I just want to be home. Think for me a lot of it is because I used to enjoy drinking socially but now with 2 under 5 I can't handle the hangovers so v rarely drink. I'm just knackered a lot of the time too so don't have the energy to socialise or go out

I like going out. I like going on holiday. As long as I’m on my own. I was away a couple of weeks ago and dreaded another singleton deciding they had to join me on sightseeing/ gallery/museum visits. Can’t even stand going shopping with anyone. A dog walk is ok, just. I think Covid changed us a lot.

I love coming home to my bed, routine, my coffee after every holiday. My kids too.

I am like this too. I really can't stand crowds, noise and shouty people.

My party animal days are firmly behind me.

I am in the minority (probably) but I loved the time after lockdown when there were still some restrictions and no huddles at the bar. Booked tables, drinks through apps.

Now I’ll go for lunch but want to be home before 7pm and without hanging around for delayed, packed trains. People queue for overcrowded bars and I honestly can’t think of anything worse.

Stupidly agreed to book tickets for a concert in July (out door event, not and arena) and I’m absolutely dreading it.

I’ve just turned 40 and I honestly wouldn’t give a shit if I ever went out again.
I’m not really a drinker so that plays its part, I get terrible anxiety the day after I drink.
I hate getting taxis.
I’ve grown accustomed to eating most of my meals in pjs bottoms now so if I go out for a meal and I am wearing ….. god forbid….. trousers or jeans WITH a ZIP! …. I feel like I’m about to bust out of them half way through my main course!

I would love to just go out with my DH but all good will of childcare is used up in school holidays by in laws so I will look forward to maybe going out just me and him again in about 8 years 🤣

Same… I was very well socialised when I was younger, loads of clubs, out with the neighbourhood kids all the time, I basically grew up in a pub as several family members worked there. Now I actually can not think of anything worse. Today we walked to Nando’s in clink street (near borough market) there’s an outside bar sort of thing called the level and everyone was squashed in like sardines, it was giving me anxiety. All the way back to London Bridge station the overspill of the pubs was a nightmare. My social battery is literally fried and non existent these days 😂

Love being in!
As another poster commented, I prefer going out for lunch than dinner.
If we do go out for dinner, it’s out early, back early.
Rock and roll 😂

What about in summer? Surely when it’s lovely and sunny outside you don’t wanna be inside?

I am not keen on evenings out. Coffee meets in the daytime is my preference but time always seems so limited. Also since menopause I have become something of a hermit anyway. Pretty soon I am joining a ladies choir but that wd be enough for me to be honest. I am not a social beast.

I feel your pain op.. I’m quiet with a very sociable dh. I’m ok going out bit if I’m really honest I relish getting home later. I don’t see it as a good thing.. wish I was more like dh!

I wonder how OP’s work party went all those weeks ago? Hopefully, better than anticipated! It’s good for us to move a bit outside our comfort zone and keep our social skills even a little bit oiled.

As can be seen here, she is far from the only one who prefers staying in and not socialising. My friend’s colleague was going to have a bit of a party to celebrate a milestone birthday but no one would commit to coming so in the end she gave up. I was horrified at an early pp whose friend wanted to meet up then - hurrah - developed a kidney infection so pp didn’t have to flake out (again). Is socialising with an interested friend so very awful? Sad.

As another pp says, a lot depends on the type of socialising. Going to a noisy, crowded bar where we have to shout to make ourselves heard? No. Meeting for a coffee, lunch, dinner, cinema, theatre, gallery or show? Definitely

And much as I like my home, I really don’t long to get back after a holiday. Maybe it’s the wrong holiday

It depends where you fall on the introversion/extraversion scale really.

Since menopause I crave more peace and quiet anyway. There is nothing wrong with that and I know many go that way. I have always loved being at home.

I’m in london, and I don’t go out nowadays. It’s too crowded and too expensive. I used to LOVE going out but it’s ridiculous now, can’t hear conversation in pubs, food is so over priced it’s crazy. Nah. I’m sorry for the youngsters now. I can’t think how they can afford it. I used to be in Soho most nights in my twenties. Hate it there now. Tourist overwhelmingly dominate too. Not a good vibe.