Gabby Petito

[leopardprintanduggs]

In tears holding my 2 month old baby girl having just finished watching the new Gabby Petito Netflix doc. What can we do for our girls to educate and keep them safe as they grow up? The statistics of domestic abuse by loved ones are terrifying.

Watching it now. Still on episode 1 terrifying.

I’m going to watch it tonight.

It's on my list to watch.

The American Murder Netflix series is fantastic but each of them have been a woman murdered by her partner - Shanann Watts (and her little girls), Laci Peterson and Gabby Petito. What is wrong with the world

I have seen that one - it’s sickening. How can
you do that to your kids is beyond me

The bottom line is we can curb bloke-on-woman violence, but it's not going anywhere, is it? Violence by men against women is ancient history. So we women clearly need protection, but those safeguards often put the squeeze on women too. Which is what I wrestled with and rebelled against when I was young hence sleeping around, getting with bad boys and the like.

The main thing I communicate with my dd is that young people can confuse controlling behaviour with passion, jealousy love. That it's generally more a sign of terrible self-control & insecurity which is an indication of weakness not strength or sexy passion. If a man (cus it usually is men but not always, as with Jodi Ann Arias) is abusive, they are not so overwhelmed by their love for you that they just have to smack you, they just don't respect you. They have something wrong with them. & you are not their therapist. & you need to run.

I’ve just finished it. She was such a sweet, innocent, young woman.
I can’t believe the cops treated him as the victim when they pulled them over.

To begin with mothers need to educate their sons. Those men are raised by women. See the series and you will see the mother of Brian.

Classic. Blame women for male violence against women.

The way the police spoke to her ....with no concern that there might be more to the story...so patronising.

And dads? My dh is the example my sons watch and how he treats me matters.

I'm watching it now.
The police can only go by what they're saying.
He has marks and they both have a story where he is attacked.

There isn't much they can do in that situation.
They had no backstory.

They separated them. They told them to stay away from each other and decompress.

The reality is only Gabi could've saved Gabi at that point.

Why do people watch these though? What are you getting from it?

It's entertainment.

Why does anyone watch anything? I'm not usually a fan of true crime programmes, but as her parents were actively involved in this i gave it a watch. I think when done well they're good for raising awareness, especially amongst young people. It also gave an insight into what she was like as a person, something so often lost when horrendous crimes like this are reported.

Absolutely.

@Bringmeahigherlove have you seen it and what his mother did and did?

I thought the police handled it well. They split Gabby and her boyfriend up and gave her lots of opportunities to talk to them. The deescalated things and gave advice.

You could say the same thing about commenting on Mumsnet threads

Yes I have. I still don’t agree that it’s a female issue to sort out male violence against women.

No, they didn't. They didn't probe deeply enough to find out what was going on. He had marks on him and so did she. She appeared deeply distressed and he was laughing and joking with the officers. They should have taken her somewhere completely away from him and brought in specifically trained officers to talk to her - she may have been able to open up more if she was in a safe place. Instead, they treated him as the victim and put him in a hotel where they house domestic abuse victims. And left her alone and distressed in a van in the middle of nowhere, far from home. Their original report was of a man slapping his girlfriend. Frankly, they were negligent.

And they gave him a hotel room and left her to sleep in a van on her own! She was only 22 and a tiny young woman.

You could ask why does anyone watch any documentary. Why does one need to get anything from it?

Human life is interesting to most Id say, this is a very sad story well told with lessons we can tell to our children.

We should be asking what we can do to stop these men thinking that they can treat women in this way. They all need to be called out and shamed.

The boys will be boys attitude needs to go. The idea that boys mature slower needs to go.

We need to expect more from all men.

I haven’t seen the series but like many read and followed the news at the time. My DD is Gabbys age. I impressed upon her Gabby was one phone call away one plane flight away from being alive. Had Gabby called her family/her parents / his parents and said I’m scared I’m alone and we aren’t getting along please get me home they would have. Van living sounds pretty rough at the best of times and she was isolated from any support. I recognize Gabby may not have been in the right mental/ physical space to reach out but my DD safe next to me is in a place to hear this message. Ask for help from trusted adults. No plane ticket no hotel is too expensive