Is anyone else just so fucking tired...

[Totallybannanas]

I’m not sure if it’s my job, my age, or both, but this winter feels like it’s dragging on forever. By the time I get home, I’m completely drained—I cook, do the dishes, then spend the rest of the evening in a vegetative state until I finally give in and go to sleep. I have zero motivation to go out or do anything because, first, I’m exhausted, and second, I find a lot of people in society today insufferable. I don’t know if it’s just a seasonal slump or something that comes with age, but I genuinely hate being around strangers in places like pubs or restaurants. People just seem like complete idiots, and honestly, I’d rather just hibernate or escape to an island away from everyone.

Oh thanks for this op. I’ve found my people. I work full time in a stressful busy job where I feel I’m overworked rn. My kids are 3 and 6. I still generally like people (kind of) but my job requires giving ppl lots of advice.. my patience is thin.. ppl approach me with a problem and tell me all irreverent stuff that takes about 15 mins just to get to the point that would take 30 secs max to say. It’s draining
every night I come home I just about manage to load dishwasher and sort what’s needed for school. cant do anything else. Time for bed and do it all over again.
I go through spells of thinking there is something really wrong with me (illness) every few weeks as sometimes I am so exhausted I can’t think, see or speak right. Just wiped out.
i am 36 and I worry how I will feel in 20 years time, as that won’t be old and I feel like I’m at the end of my days hahaha how depressing!

Firstly, I agree it's natural to feel this way a bit in winter. Longer sleeping hours needed, not the right time to "do", more to recover.

Physical health wise - check bit D, iron, B12, thyroid. If you are a woman of 40+, check hormones too. If you can, eat a bit more fruit and veg and go a walk a day.

Mental health wise - it's fine to focus on one thing to look after yourself a day (eg comedy movie, face mask, whatever). Id also recommend to spend a bit of time reflecting on your values (https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/ for examples). When you identify a few that really matter to you, spend a bit of time thinking about how you can move towards them a bit more when spring hits. For lots of people, their work won't fulfill their values really, so they need to seek things that do outside work.

I hear you OP. I think it's the relentless grey and cold. I don't want to go out in the evening. I don't want to go outside and exercise. I hate winter anyway, but this year I am just longing for spring. I can't wait to see the sun again and to not feel cold every time I go outside.

I was only thinking to myself yesterday that I can't remember what it's like to not feel tired. I shouldn't be, my kids are grown up do only have myself to sort out. This is the longest winter we have had on the back of a miserable summer.

🙄 My MH is fine. I eat well, take supplements, don’t smoke, drink a small amount of alcohol, exercise daily by walking the dog, prioritise sleep - and yet I, and many others on this thread, still feel like crap.

Maybe, just maybe it’s actually not due to a moral failing and it’s due to external factors beyond our control? That’s a rhetorical question BTW.

Am drained these days and not sleeping well. Too much going on in life, middle aged, work issues caused by others, worries about family and the future ...

I am doing my best to eat as properly as I can and get fresh fruit and veg often and not load up on empty carbs. Drink water and not exist on coffee and wine. Take multivitamins. Get out for fresh air and a walk. Learning to communicate in a way the teen accepts.

But I need to cut the wine more. Get out in fresh air more. Exercise more. Do more yoga to deal with muscle tensions. Get more assertive with some at work to manage some things better. Take time out for myself - not just work and housework and sleep. And pace myself because there are 4 more years of some of the issues.

Me too re thyroid. I’ve been on thyroid tablets for a week but feel just as lousy.

If you don’t mind me asking how long did it take to start feeling better?

P.S. This grey weather is so depressing as well and it seems to have gone on for soooo long!

Sing it! I’ve never smoked, I don’t drink at all, I’m religious about five a day to model it for my kids – we probably get seven a day and a good variety – they’re walked to school and nursery so I start and end each day with fresh air and the countryside as a baseline but enforce a big blustery walk each weekend on top of this. Great sleep hygiene (pitch dark, cool room, spunked the GDP of a small country on a super king with separate mattresses so DP doesn’t disturb me). Sleep is as good as it can be with two small kids and perimenopause. Strong network of local friends with whom I regularly do something or if those somethings fall through due to child illness as they invariably do, we manage quick coffees or lingering chats in the park after the drop-off. Equally strong network of scattered friends globally with whom I chat regularly. Creatively fulfilled; I’ve just written a novel and I’m editing another.

I’m job hunting in a shit job market and I’ve got money worries, but they’re of the “wish we could afford Centre Parcs or to decorate our bedroom” ilk not “how are we going to pay for the car’s MOT?” It’s not keeping me up at night.

But as a pp says, there’s just nothing to look forward to. I can’t get as much fresh air as I’d like because the weather has been relentless: I’m not one to shy away from a rainy, blustery walk but when the temperature is at “feels like -10 due to the wind” for the umpteenth day in a row, I physically can’t potter in the garden. It hurts my bones. The climate crisis is anxiety-inducing. The cost of everything is “breathe into a brown paper bag” time. Neither of these things are going to improve and Trump’s despotic mania isn’t helping.

It’s deeply comforting to know that I’m not alone and I’m not failing, that I can’t dig myself out of this by turning my frown upside down and turning my painbow into a rainbow. The world is really hard right now.

I do crawl into bed around 8pm and hibernate. It's wonderful.

Same! January was particularly bad and felt myself getting quite low with it I've had to force myself to invite friends over and start socialising a bit before I become a total hermit !

Yep literally 1 glass of wine here and then in bed by 9.30pm.

I think it's a reflection of modern life. Most people are stressed and busy. Stress equals exhaustion.

Im 46 very perimenopausal and have been for a good few years. However not everything is down to that. This time of year is hard, it’s dark, damp and grey. Illnesses are still circulating heavily and there’s not really anything to look forward to until Easter ( if you celebrate things like that)

I think i have SAD and have welll before my peri years. I have found vit d/k2 taken from september/october helps me. As well as the standard get out and into nature even in the rain !! I work in a very dark A&e with very limited natural light.

We get outside as often as we can and weather allows and it makes such a difference. Its however easier as we don’t have children.

I do think the old nutrition, water, exercise blah blah really helps too. Exercise gives me my endorphins which help the energy and motivation levels too.

See I do all this but still feel awful.

I am due a week off and I am stressed that my friends will want to do something. I just want to sit and mooch about at home to feel O have had a rest.

I wasn't like this 20 years ago. The thought of a holiday or packing and not getting downtime to do nothing stresses me out.

This is spot on. Every day life is just a massive slog. I need a new kitchen, car and a holiday but can't afford all 3! People are just rude and disrespectful, I hate being random people now or forcing small talk. Eating out is expensive, I find portions are smaller, quality and service not as good so I don't even enjoy that anymore!

I've joined a gym, but once I'm home from work I'm too cold and tired to go back out. I have started taking various vitamins though, also have a gousto delivery to help with eating better. So I am trying!

I had a row last night with DH not a tie as I mis typed ! I need to make myself get out of my pit and walk the dog and do something. Even if it's only changing the beds. Hes off to watch footie soon. Every other week and sometimes mid week and I have nothing like this. I have to fit in around him and I seethe with resentment and self loathing that I know he wouldn't stop me going out but that I put these restrictions on my own head

Fed up with feeling cold. Heating is always on but just cannot get warm. Doesn't usually bother me but this year it does.

I'm sick of feeling tired, I don't sleep well at the best of times but last night was a piss take bloody cats messing about, dh snoring so I had to get up and sort them out then couldn't go back to sleep and this morning he's all smiles after his 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep and has taken exception to me being quite grumpy.

Tonight I'm in the spare room with my earplugs and the door firmly shut.

But for my two dogs I would escape to the sun for the winter .

And the prize for the most sweeping generalisation goes to you 🌟🌟🌟

@Coldandfedup456 you'll have half of MN complaining about the sweltering heatwave as soon as the temperature hits double figures. But I'm with you. Apart from a few days of freak heat a couple of years ago we've not had a decent summer since before Covid. We're long overdue for 3 to 4 months of wall to wall sunshine and temperatures in the 20s. My mood and energy are so much better in good weather, it's like I'm solar charged.

Wow @2025willbemytime going back to work after 24 years, good luck. Will you be returning to what you did before or starting afresh?

I reckon it takes about six to eight weeks to start noticing a difference. So fingers crossed it all goes well for you.

Feel the same. Get into bed at every opportunity.