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Original poster

Please help - I need more joy in my life

57 replies

Sparkmyjoy · 14/02/2025 16:15

I will summise:

Recently divorced. Get on well and co parent. Live together due to financials for now. No real issue with that.

Work part time in health care for NHS

Treat myself daily to a cafetiere every morning at home...I get up at 5am to do this so I have an hour with the cats and some dark choc! (This is my daily treat) But.... I'm missing that something. That spark and excitement.

I keep thinking I want to date, to get a boyfriend, or girlfriend even, but quickly realise I just can't be .... arsed.

I'm 48, perhaps this is my menopause initiating an uprising.

So please indulge me.... what things do you do that spark joy? I'd love to be inspired.

Thank you...

OP posts:
Balloonhearts · 14/02/2025 16:20

I took up horse riding lessons. Gives me that endorphin rush of excitement when we try something new or jump a bit higher and I love hanging out with my lesson horse, grooming him and cuddles. It also dropped some weight off me as its great exercise.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 14/02/2025 16:26

I love to read. It may sound a bit boring but getting lost in a good book makes me happy and really helps when real life is feeling a bit mundane.

Dolambslikemintsauce · 14/02/2025 16:28

Grow things op!!
Fruit /veg /plants.
Saved me during the Covid times..
Well saved my dc /dh... A new patio was quite often on my agenda....

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
Daleksatemyshed · 14/02/2025 18:21

Making the garden lovely - sitting there with the fountain flowing is perfect peace and quiet

AndSoFinally · 15/02/2025 10:28

Get an aquarium. A proper big tropical one that needs cleaning and planting and maintaining. Watching fish is very joyful

JMAngel1 · 15/02/2025 10:37

Me and DH have just started weekly ballroom dancing lessons and we have such a giggle.
Films and TV shows - Netflix The Gentlemen is a raucous ride!
My daughters
Perfume - every morning it is an absolute joy to decide which one to wear and I breathe it in and savour it throughout the day - gets me through some hellish NHS job moments!
Hot baths at night with a candle and Carlos Cipa
Meeting up with friends for a coffee and natter.
Afternoon teas - I have a good friend who also loves them and we aim for one a month
Books!
Clothes - love getting dressed up
My monthly magazine coming through the door
Night time face oil - aromatherapy assiciates - an absolute joy.
My beauty salon - a lovely oasis of calm.

hopeishere · 15/02/2025 11:13

My dog. She has saved my sanity. Forces me to go on walks.

Small group of lovely friends.

Flowers every week.

New jigsaw.

Saturday papers.

frozendaisy · 15/02/2025 11:15

Taking a sketch book out and drawing

TreesWelliesKnees · 15/02/2025 11:19

I try to have something to look forward to at least once a month, booked way ahead - theatre, mini-break, live comedy, a festival... I've currently got something booked every month up to November.

Original poster
Sparkmyjoy · 15/02/2025 11:19

Thank you everyone.. I love reading your replies. 😀

OP posts:
PorridgeOatsSuck · 15/02/2025 11:22

Following. Love these ideas especially the horse riding, something I did as a teen, lovely memories of sweet breath and horse hair smells.

For me, this winter has been hard. Been getting through it with resistance weights at the gym. I love the buzz of pushing through discomfort and the warm, tired but positive feeling after.

Lentilweaver · 15/02/2025 11:22

Choir. I love it!

JudgeBread · 15/02/2025 11:24

I dance and sing. Appallingly. But it brings me great joy so I don't care!

ShushImTalking · 15/02/2025 11:24

If you like music and dancing, I'd recommend learning Ceroc. It's fun energising exercise, and social. You'll meet loads of new people (including men).

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 15/02/2025 11:24

Ooh i love threads like this.

I am learning French using Duolingo. I normally have an attention span of a gnat but Duolingo makes it really fun. It's really brightened my mornings.

Thejugglestruggle · 15/02/2025 11:33

I tackle this in 2 ways:

  1. Making the everyday things a but more special
  2. Making a few plans throughout the year which yank we out of the everyday

So everyday things like:

  1. Making a bath more special with a lovely oil, salts, bubble bath, loading up something to watch on an iPad
  2. Picking wild flowers as we hea into spring (same with blackberries in August, holly are xmas etc...) and popping them round the house
  3. Long walks with friends esp when the sun pops out
  4. Candles for long, winter evenings
  5. Tea outside (picnic blanket in the garden) with the kids when the weather turns

And then in terms of bigger things, I try and plan a trip with a friend every year, perhaps a trip to a spa (usually cheaper midweek if you can book a day off from work), maybe have a goal for the year (we walk part of the Pembrokeshire coastal walk every year and hope to complete it one day!!

What about a hobby as well? I have started paddleboarding in spring/summer/early autumn
Having something to try and get better at it feels good

newyearsresolurion · 15/02/2025 11:37

Ive recently learnt how to swim I love challenging myself especially with breaststroke technique ....am really loving this new hobby

Imgoingtobefree · 15/02/2025 11:38

Im post divorce and child free and reevaluating my life.

I read that we need the following in our lives - connection, novelty and meaning.

So make/see friends and family, don’t get in a total rut and add in some things that matter to you.

Stay busy, be useful - pretty much hits the spot.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/02/2025 11:42

I like to have something to look forward to (even if it's quite a way in the future), so I try to make sure I've got 'something' in the calendar for the next fortnight or so. It could be an outing with a friend, a weekend away, a catch up with someone I've not seen in a while, even just a walk around a town with coffee and cake.
I also have a dog, who forces me out for a run first thing. Fresh air, noticing the changes in the countryside - spring coming and buds appearing gives me hope. Plus the dog is stupid and ridiculous and always up for a cuddle.
Books. Having a new book to start or being in the middle of an engaging story, I am always looking forward to sitting down and picking up my book again.

If all that fails. Cake. Lots of nice cake.

Seeline · 15/02/2025 11:46

Another who sings in a choir

It's not just the social side, the actual act of singing gives a real buzz.
And singing in concerts gives the adrenaline a bit of a boost.
We also sing in old people's homes and at charity events which makes you feel as though you're doing something for others as well.

MastieMum · 15/02/2025 11:49

Cold water swimming - an amazing endorphin rush and a really supportive community. Plus justifies some post swim cake to get you warm

Giggorata · 15/02/2025 11:50

Many of mine have been mentioned, particularly getting lost in a book and walking in the woods, watching the seasonal changes and growing things.
I go to a drumming group, which is such an uplift; and being a member of my lovely coven means I get together a lot with like minded people, for ritual and social occasions.
I am writing a bit more nowadays and getting a lot of satisfaction out of that, especially when it just flows.

Mulledjuice · 15/02/2025 11:53

Volunteer.
Team sports or group activity. Exert yourself. With others.
Something creative - choir, pottery class, life drawing
Regularly being in nature. Notice the changing of the seasons.
Spend time with different age groups
Celebrate good things even small ones

saveforthat · 15/02/2025 11:54

I do 2 tap dancing classes back to back on Mondays. I often tell the teacher, it's the best 90 minutes of my week. I'm not joking. Also sing in a choir and have never had such a busy social life since I joined.

HRHTheQueenMuffinTop · 15/02/2025 11:58

My New Year's resolution was to bring more fun into my life. After a good few years dealing with lots of stresses.

This year so far I have been to the cinema a number of times (on my own sometimes). Been to the ballet. Booked myself into a night away to have a bit of a solo museum fiesta. I'm planning on taking a trip to the Channel Islands with the DCs. I always need something to look forward to I find. Our big summer holiday will be to visit my family abroad and that will be fun for everyone else but a little stressy for me (aged and ill parents and the guilt of living so far from them gets me) so I am hoping to also have a little fun trip to Guernsey.