How would you judge me?

[Jane958]

Eldest of 3 children.
Parents with professional jobs.
All children privately educated.
Only one to go to university.
Only one not to own a house before age 40
Only one not to have any children
Only one to have been widowed, although one sibling was divorced and subsequently remarried
Only one not to have a pension
Probably first one to have paid off the mortgage

Judge you for what?

Against what criteria?

Very insecure.

ummm that is your story. Other people have their story.

I don’t really understand the judge part of your question.

Widowed and no children or pension, I'd feel sorry for you but then remember you have a paid off home which you could sell and downsize to fund yourself and that you had private education so had a better start in life than most, career and prospects wise. I'd think it's good you have siblings and extended family at least. Growing old alone and poor is so awful.

Bit needy and insecure.

Why would you give a shit?

Are you happy? What does it matter what anyone else thinks?

I'd wonder at what age you were going to stop comparing yourself to your siblings.

How could anyone judge you for being widowed?

Why would someone judge a person for being a widow?

Judge you in what way? How old are you? Thinking retirement age if you didn’t buy until over 40 but have now paid off the mortgage? I’d wonder why you don’t have pension though.

You seem very insecure to be asking all this.

People don’t pay much notice. Just get on with your life as well as you can. There’s no prize for what anyone else thinks.

I'm struggling to even find that interesting so no chance I'd waste a moment judging you

Comparison is the thief of joy

People think about you much less than you think. Whether that is a comfort is up to you.

Yep.

Not in the UK.
Treated in this country as unimportant as women have husbands.
Have had ver good jobs, but always freelance since 1995. No option on pensions, because this place did not cater for them at that point or advisors told me I was too "poor".

I wouldn’t judge you at all.

Who is judging you OP? Your parents/family?

"Treated in this country as unimportant as women have husbands..." - and some of those husbands die.

It seems to be a very unkind way for them to treat widows in your country. Would relocating to a country where women are valued be an option for you?

Next gig may be in France. Luckily I have an EU passport and speak the language.

@Alalalala
My sister, definitely-
Not my problem that she decided not to go to university. Got married and had children young, the divorced and has remarried someone, who is 10 years younger than she is. Horses for courses and he is pleasant.

Judge you for what OP?