Does Mumsnet ever make you doubt yourself?

[CurlewKate]

Or would, if you let it? Things that you think of as perfectly normal behaviour, but aren't, according to Mumsnet. The two that spring to mind are offering someone a lift-surely not doing so is the "bad option"? And using another close family member's towel. Oh, and washing your hands in the kitchen sink. There are loads. I'm not going anywhere near who is allowed to use your loo for what-that's too scary.

Also not having a panic attack because "a family member KISSED my baby on the cheek!!!" 👍

Yes! Very transactional people all over the place! They think everyone else is a CF.

Mums net makes me feel like:

I'll die in poverty because I don't have a £100k a year job.

If I survive the menopause, my brain and body are going to disintegrate (genuinely scared about this).

That any children I may have will have some sort of neurodivergence, probably quite severely.

I'm a waste of space because I don't craft, run, have a group of giiiirls or use my spare time to volunteer.

It actually gives me a lot of anxiety, I don't know why I keep reading it 😂

The two that spring to mind are offering someone a lift-surely not doing so is the "bad option"? And using another close family member's towel. Oh, and washing your hands in the kitchen sink.

I've have to say, I've never seen a post about washing your hands in the kitchen sink! If you don't have a downstairs loo or utility room/outside tap, of course you would!

With the lift issue, it's far more annoying when people (who don't drive) hint at/ask for/expect lifts and I've seen loads more posts/experienced this in real life much more. I've only ever heard, 'do you want a lift to x/no thanks, I'd rather walk/ok fab, see you later' type conversations.

I agree with people on the whole about 'droppers in'. I don't mind people knocking on the door to speak to me/ask me something, but if they are expecting tea and cake, then text and ask when is convenient. Turning up when it's convenient for you rather than agreeing a time when it's convenient for both of us, is annoying. Usually it's during the only 2 hour period in the weekend I'd earmarked to read my book!

Thank you for this thread.

I've been on Mumsnet under various guises for a long time. I have found lots of helpful advice, mainly under the less used sections. It has shaped some of my views on feminism.
But overall it has made me feel that I'm not normal! I always believed that most people were decent friendly people, so the appalling nastiness that seems to take over some threads had really been skewing my thoughts on people in real life.
Also the snobbery regarding universities and careers. I've brought up my children , one is still not quite flown, and a couple of other people's children and they are doing fine even though they've chosen vastly different routes in life.

The comments on this thread are a dose of sanity!

So what do you do when say preparing meat if you can't wash your hands in the kitchen sink? Especially if your bathroom isn't near the kitchen.

I can answer the ND worry. There will be a greater percentage of parents of ND children seeking support online, partly because real life support and information is often non existent. But also because ND children often have a ND parent who perhaps is more likely to use online resources rather than face 2 face (and I count myself in that number - also the not liking answering the door/ phone is probably linked).

I found MN helpful re. the menopause, again it's only people needing help who are seeking it. I am on HRT, I knew far more about it because of MN, it's is better to have this info, but it doesn't mean everyone will have trouble.

I don’t think anyone has an issue with that. It’s more someone coming in from outside with filthy hands and washing in a sink for used food prep when there are other options.

Also wouldn’t bother me I’m afraid. It’s a sink and can be cleaned if necessary.

I also don't use my sink for food prep?

If I’m in the middle of washing salad, which is in a colander in the sink, then I don’t want someone washing hands covered in soil, or that have just been delfleaing their dog, on top of it.

Ok, that, I totally get

I don't really leave stuff in my sink though so it isn't really a thing for me

No don't prep any food directly in my sink either. I know people used to be advised to wash chicken and pat dry so maybe more people used to see the sink as a food prep area.

Well, of course not. But that’s not about using the kitchen sink per se. Genuinely how often does someone push past you and insist on washing muddy hands in the 30 seconds max it takes to wash salad leaves? Are you left standing next to them helplessly watching grime rain down on your lettuce?

Yes it does but only over inconsequential things like screen time or how little exercise I do. When it comes to important issues like the complexities of relationships, you have to accept that while strangers on the internet can offer generic advice, they don't know ins and outs of your relationships. This is why I chuckle at all the instant LTB posts.

I try to take it with a pinch of salt, take the helpful advice, ignore the posters who just want to be mean and superior. Remember that anyone can say anything online.

Tbh I don’t use my sink for food prep, other than for peeling muddy vegetables or draining boiling food from a pan which is held over the sink and doesn’t actually come into contact with the sink.

Do people actually chop meat in their sinks or something?

Some of the loudest gobshites on here are bourgeois nut jobs who can't comprehend a lifestyle beyond suburbia. Most of the threads in AIBU are started by trolls. I really wouldn't let the balance of opinion on here sway anything in real life.