Does Mumsnet ever make you doubt yourself?

[CurlewKate]

Or would, if you let it? Things that you think of as perfectly normal behaviour, but aren't, according to Mumsnet. The two that spring to mind are offering someone a lift-surely not doing so is the "bad option"? And using another close family member's towel. Oh, and washing your hands in the kitchen sink. There are loads. I'm not going anywhere near who is allowed to use your loo for what-that's too scary.

No, it makes me doubt about human society.

I think you could post the same thread on two different days and get completely different answers because the first couple of posts set the tone and everyone grabs the same point even if it wasn't the point and who knows which way a thread will go or if the same person would have said the same thing if the previous answers had gone a different way.

It confuses me when the first few replies set the tone of the thread . Its like most people suddenly can't post their true opinion but have to agree with the first couple of people. Its odd.

Yes, that’s exactly what happened to me, especially when struggling with toilet training. Whenever we had another accident I’d be remembering threads from here about how disgusting it was that children weren’t toilet trained and so on. Or that if he moved a few inches when getting things out of the car that he should be on reins.

Any threads re finance and pensions depress me a lot.

Yep! A recent thread about someone exclaiming 'for Christ's sake' at work, and a huge pile-on basically calling to stone her for the outrageous blasphemy.

I was like holy fucking christ! They would hate me. Is this how normal people honestly think and act, or was it either a concerted attack by US Bible belters, or some kind of right wing bot thing.

Or maybe I've just been stumbling through life upsetting everyone with my blasphemy 😳

I just think that people need different amounts of money to be happy so I don't bother to read these posts.

Nope, it's a parallel universe and bears little resemblance to reality.

No, Im self assured in my middle age.
Fascinating to observe though.

I avoid all finance posts now after being made to feel awful too many times. Now I am happy.

FWIW I recently while bored did an online quiz about where my income placed me relative to the population. I have often felt deeply poor on here so it was interesting (a) to see how very far towards the top end my earnings actually are and (b) to reflect on the likelihood that such a significant percentage of those out-earning me actually spend much of their lives on MN.

So in the spirit of those many posters, I'm off to request that the chaffeur brings the Aston Martin round so I'll be at Le Manoir in time for my regular Tuesday lunch.

It's made me realise that my levels of housekeeping are probably lower than most. And I've been surprised at how many people expect others to remove their shoes.

On the other hand I'm horrified by the amount of things that people get offended by, especially in terms of interactions with their wider family and friends. So much angst and drama.

Yes herd mentality. There’s a lot of psychology going on with MN posts and the responses.

No. I'm 58. It used to make me feel bad about some of my choices years ago, but now I see how absolutely insufferable so many of the people who made me feel like that are.

The main one for me is the number of people who are really against using childcare - especially wraparound or holiday clubs and who will give up work or go very part time to avoid it

It makes me doubt my decisions - but my kids seem very happy in after school club/holiday clubs so I think it's fine, I just sometimes get a wave of doubt

It's made me conscious of my low income sometimes (30K) and wondered how people manage to earn 6 figures what seems to be easily but then they seem to take that for granted! Always find the wage threads insane and can never imagine having that level of disposable income.
It's made me happy for the man I married and the lack of issues in our lovely relationship.

It did when I had a young baby, very little experience and no support due to covid. Some of it was helpful but I wish I had been able to ignore a lot of it.

Never.
I realise people just say whatever and I know wonderful intelligent people in real life who's views mainly align with mine and I'm happy with that.

I think what surprises me most is the number of people who aren't prepared to put themselves out, even a bit, for other people. Or who will only do a favour if it's reciprocated.

It doesn’t ever make me doubt myself but it frequently makes me doubt other people!

Oh the other thing it made me doubt myself on when mine were babies was cosleeping

Every sleep thread is covered with people who think it fixes every sleep problem

I tried it a few times, all that happened was that my babies still woke up the same number of times but I also didn't get to sleep in between due to baby moving around, kicking me, fingers in my face etc

I kept trying it like a lunatic because of the sheer level of obsession with it on here but then eventually I saw sense and sleep trained

But I got seduced by it again with DS2, this time it will work because it works for everyone on mumsner. It did not.

Never. I think there are an awful lot of people who are only posting to stir up trouble for others, and be controversial. You see it all the time, first 15 or so comments blaming the OP, then someone sensible (and brave) posts an alternative opinion which opens up the thread to a load more sensible replies.

Sometimes I find some of the opinions on here really weird and in complete contrast to what I experience in real life. I also think there are many who don't actually IRL behave in the way they are advising other people to on here, they just want to make other people feel bad about themselves and their lives.

It’s changed my mind about a number of issues over the years, as I heard from people with different experiences and those more knowledgeable.
Certainly on topics like surrogacy, where I felt very uneasy but was struggling to articulate why, I have become more resolute.

So I would say I’ve altered some of my thinking. I’ve also changed some things I do thanks to gardening or cooking advice.

But I don’t worry about whether it’s shoes on or off, toilet brushes or not, towel sharing etc.

Nah, I presume a lot of the users who seem totally out of touch with reality are totally out of touch with reality and are just here role playing as middle class knobs anyway. Then there's the insane germaphobes and the people who won't answer their doors, the people who have massive food related issues but insist that we've just forgotten what a healthy weight looks like, the absolute nutbars who think a banana will kill you... None of them are representative of the real world. And honestly if they are it's a massive confidence boost that I'm nothing like them at all.

It used to when I was younger but I've got more confidence in myself and my choices now so it's much less likely to affect how I feel about myself.

The ones that tend to be particularly nuts are anything related to food, people's reaction to new babies (from parents being insanely protective to people saying "no-one cares about your baby except you"), washing (clothes and bodies) and how reluctant people are to help other people.

Yes, and floor beds. I don’t want to sleep on the fucking floor thanks!