How to manage snoring on holiday?

[DaysofHoney]

Genuine question (as I lie here wide awake with DH snoring like a trooper) - how do you manage on holiday if your DH snores? At home I cope by retreating to the spare room if he’s snoring, or if he’s been drinking and I know he’ll be bad, I go straight to the spare room regardless.

We are on holiday, he wants to drink every evening, but that results in heavy snoring - confined to one room because we can’t pay for a second (though ask me in the morning and I might have changed my mind).

I’ve absolutely realised I can’t keep doing this - it’s not the first time I’ve lied awake thinking wtf am I doing here on my holidays not being able to sleep. I brought earplugs with me but they barely take the edge off.

Anyone else with a snorer that can relate? Do you book a villa with multiple bedrooms?? Help!

Why is he drinking so much if he knows it makes his snoring worse and you have nowhere else to sleep? Aren’t you angry with him? You should be demanding he stops drinking. If he refuses then I think it says a lot about his priorities.

Earplugs (I use bollesen) plus a snoozeband (headband with thin speakers in) to play white noise. Can't hear him and he is loud!!

Of course I’m angry. Thing is, if I say something, he’ll get angry. I know that’s not right, but we are here with two DC and I don’t particularly want to spoil everyone’s holiday. As ever, the experience is raising bigger questions/concerns for me about his drinking and his priorities. When he asked how I slept and I said not well, he asked why and I said the snoring, and he huffed and puffed. Says it all doesn’t it. It’s like he thinks I’m overreacting.

He sounds really unpleasant OP. And you sound scared of him. That’s no way to live.

This happened to me in Berlin. DH is normal weight, so really only snores badly if he has drunk too much. We were away with DS18 and DH attempted to match him on the beers. It was excruciating, I considered trying to bunk in with DS in his room, or going to reception and paying for another room. In the end I realised that it was two single mattresses on the bed, so I was able to move mine so it was in the bathroom which numbed the noise a bit.

Unlike your DH though, DH was totally contrite. I said that I wasn't sure if I could go to Costa Rica with him - we are booked in March, and he instantly cut right back on his drinking.

I would honestly see about getting another room. Or buy sleeping tablets for yourself.

That's what I use, I scare myself in the bathroom mirror when I get up in the night but it's worth it 😂

He sounds like a bully.

What a selfish arsehole you are married to.

Definitely no more holidays until he sorts it out.

Book the other room. Do it.

Oh OP your update is horrible - he sounds like a bully. Just to contrast my DH tells me every night if his snoring is causing me not to sleep, he will go into the spare room. He is also prepared to ensure there is an extra bed on holiday just in case. He says it's not fair for me to be sleep deprived and he says being selfish, he doesn't want me to leave him. Are there other areas of your life where your DH shuts your opinion down on?

Exactly the same as I do and it really does work. Also, fiddle around with the different white noises- some are better at blocking out the snoring than others. I use a white noise app on my phone where you can mix several sounds together to make the perfect one.

@DaysofHoney totally sympathise, it's the same conversations in our house. Same thing with the instantly asleep and videos etc. I've even had one of my DH before where he has fallen asleep with a toothbrush in his mouth mid brushing but he was lying in bed doing it and just fell asleep. No joke!

Firstly I would book one of those spare hotel rooms for a night and send him off as soon as the kids are asleep so you get a nice long night un-disturbed. Even if it's just one night tonight and then another night in a few days - top yourself up.

I would talk to him about his SA. He's actually very lucky to have been given a CPAP machine for mild SA. It's not just about the snoring, SA is a serious health condition. He is depriving his body of oxygen and if it goes un-treated then all sorts of chronic health conditions can occur. It's not a game, it's tough shit if he doesn't like the mask. He has to wear it and has to get used to it. Or he needs to lose weight. Those should be his only 2 choices. It may kill him one day. Lay it on thick, early death, leaving you and the children earlier than he should etc. If he's been given this diagnosis he needs to do something about it.

Old fashioned wax earplugs work for me. The silicone ones do very little and buds are too uncomfortable.
You might also try having the radio on low as it seems to smooth out the shock of each snore.

I had this for years so very sympathetic. When DC were smaller we had 2 rooms with one DC each. This wasn't feasible when they were older so DH would watch a movie with headphones whilst I tried to get to sleep first. I spent the whole movie panicking I wouldn't get to sleep! We go away in a couple of weeks and have booked two single rooms (cost wasn't much more). It's skiing so I need a good night's sleep!! I tried various earplugs etc but nothing worked.

DP knew he snored and aways asked to come back into the bed, saying how it wasn't fair- until he got an app and he was off the charts. He sleeps in the office.

On holiday (road trip) I couldn't punch him all night or he'd be too tired to drive. So he drove and I'd sleep.

We can't afford two rooms either. And I also don't like him sleeping next to DS(4) as I think it's too loud for his ears. So I'll take child elbows any day.

Agree with this. He’s the one causing a real problem as he’s not allowing you to sleep properly and he doesn’t care.

When away together Nytol One a Night.
I fall asleep and dh can snore away to his heart's content.

Oh dear this sounds horrendous and I feel your pain as this is my life :-( Myself and DH haven't shared a bed for about 16 years because of his snoring - I don't think people believe just how bad it is. This year we holidayed in a caravan as a last minute getaway and it just awful even though we were in separate rooms the walls were paper thin and had about 2 hours sleep over 3 nights - never again! We have 2DC and sometimes on holiday I share with my DD but she is a pre-teen now so probably can't share with her for too long which means if we go on holiday we will need at least 4 rooms or 3 rooms with 4 separate beds - it's a nightmare! Please try and get a few hours during the day if you can or maybe your DH could stay up for a few hours at night so you could at least get a few hours before he starts with his noises. I hope you are ok 💐

Book 2 rooms, or book an apartment with 2 rooms or a separate room and a sofa bed

He is being utterly selfish. My dh has a cpap machine and it means we can have a family room etc. I would not be living with him if he didn't use it.

I’m the snorer here. I’m not overweight and don’t drink. We sleep separately which suits fine. We’ve had holidays where he’s nudged me awake until I’ve had to get up and read/walk the floors until morning, due to there being limited space to get away from each other. I appreciate he has to sleep but it’s really taking the piss when he then sleeps late and leaves me to deal with the children, but that’s another thread.
This thread is a timely reminder for me as we’re about to book a holiday. It certainly ramps up the cost but from my point of view it’s necessary. I get very claustrophobic in a hotel room trying to stay awake.
I don’t snore deliberately! I’ve tried to remedy it.

Not snoring, but both of us up and down a lot in the night, disturbing each other. So where at all possible, an Airbnb with separate rooms.

So bedtime has rolled around. I’m obviously not looking forward to it having tried to talk to him earlier and been ignored/huffed at. He’s asked me what’s wrong tonight and I told him straight up I haven’t slept properly and not relishing the thought of another sleepless night. Cue more huffing and puffing, threats of sleeping by the pool (really not viable he’d be eaten alive by mosquitoes). Says he’s not prepared to feel like a pariah. Give me strength! I brought up the alcohol and perhaps he could just try going without tomorrow- this went badly. I’m playing white noise on my phone, I’ve got my earplugs in and have told him very calmly we can talk about it properly tomorrow.

You should absolutely take him up on his kind offer to sleep by the pool. Why are you putting up with this again? Does he bully you like this in other ways too?

I hope you get some sleep and I hope your H has some kind of epiphany in the night and realises what a selfish, uncaring arse he is being.

I hire places with an extra room or a massive sofa - for DH to sleep on.
He also drinks every night on holidays.

The extra room is annoyingly expensive. But I will be murdering someone if I can't sleep on my holiday. Feel your pain op x