I don't think I'm asking for much

[FartingAgainstThunder]

I just want...
good mental health/to feel less anxious.
My hair to stop thinning and being frizzy.
Clear skin.
Healthy teeth and gums.
Jowls to fuck off.
Boobs and belly to be greatly reduced.
Have nice outfits that don't need ironing.
Live in a clean and tidy house with a pleasant garden.
Work that I enjoy and that pays enough.

My DH asked me what do I want and was hit with this tirade without me drawing breath.

He meant did I want tea or coffee 😁

What do you want? Tirades welcome.

Four of yours OP
A bit more ‘fun’ money
To see more of my family

I don’t mind ironing though.

I'll pay you to iron, That's one problem solved each 😁

I want the bags under my eyes to magically disappear.

I barely do any ironing. I buy non-iron shirts and blouses whenever possible, which are brilliant. You just put them on a 'shirts' wash, take them out and put them on a hanger and then hang them somewhere warm to dry and voila!

Decent health ATM would cap it! Otherwise,no "smokers lines" above my top lip, I've never smoked, Im a pensioner and cannot afford fillers. I would not go to a beautician, only the consultant dermatologist I was seeing for eczema. Although slim, I've had a turkey neck for donkeys years and I hate it . I did chat to a surgeon years ago,he said it would have to be a full face lift. Well, definitely don't have that kind of money, and it's risky. I can live with the few crows feet..it's not too much to ask for is it!!

Fully functioning pain free shoulders.

I have horrible things hair, since the menopause, discovered John Freida thickening shampoo and conditioner. I finally after big wait got hearing aids (yet) the consultant said I had lovely thick and obviously natural blonde hair (nope)

THIN hair!

Interesting thread.
Love the fact that the original DH question was coffee or tea 😂
I realise this thread is light hearted, but OP, I think if you start at the bottom of your list re the job, that will help with item 1, the snxiety. The. You will have increased self esteem which will drive forward the house dvd garden tidy etc (impossible to fix when are feeing low), check away anything that needs ironing I have work anything like that for years - tumble dryer is your friend - then work on mitigating the other things.

Re: gardening. Obviously, I have no idea what your garden currently consists of, but if it's just untidy, overgrown, etc, it's amazing how a day out there with a pair of secateurs can do. Gardening is one thing that gives immediate results. And tbh at this time of year almost everyone's garden looks a soggy mess. I spent about 2 hours in our garden the last time we had a dry day and pretty much filled our garden waste bin just cutting stuff back so the bulbs and green shoots could reach the light. Since doing that all the snowdrops have come out and although it's still a soggy mess (not much I can do about the amount of rain we've had), it's now a soggy mess with a few flowers!

I’d recommend John Frieda or Aveda for hair.

I’d like:

opaque tights that don’t get holes in the toes as soon as I look at them

A slave to meal plan and do a grocery order every week

A new jumper in red or green that isn’t cashmere or crap

The perfect pair of jeans

Some French toast

Donald Trump to die, ideally alone and in terrible pain

Elon Musk ditto

World peace

I’d like my garden to magically appear to be designed and in full bloom without me spending any money. It’s a new build and the garden is big, but there’s not a thing in it.

Can someone rid me of about a stone in weight, whilst I still eat chocolate please?

Currently, I’d be glad if my hand would stop hurting. Had a procedure on Thursday and it’s sore.

I tried the Aveda shampoo and conditioner..I didn't like it,it made my hair look and feel weird, straw like, and if I got caught in the rain,it went sticky, and the cost!!! The John Freida one works and is about £23 for the set. Of course, I would like world peace and lots of other things, but figured the post was light hearted.

Well, I figured it was light hearted too and intended it as such.

For my grey roots to be banished forever. And healthy teeth and gums also. Forever looking after my teeth but sadly not been blessed with good ones.

I want summer, and nothing else will do!

Oh god definitely this! Agony isn't it!

Sunshine. Another dog.

I've learnt to be content with my lot and if there's something I don't like, I work towards changing it. Being proactive rather than passive and reactive has a positive impact on my self esteem.

Someone to make me tea.

Ooh can I have this as well, please? I’m having monthly massages and still in pain.

I wish I had -

A nice body (am a few stone overweight and on a diet)
Nice teeth
Fewer lines
More energy
More money

Oh that's interesting, that was gonna be my next step. I've had it injected once, it eased slightly for a couple of weeks then came back with a vengeance. Gp suggested trying it again, then physio, if nothing works then he will refer me for surgery. To be honest I'll try anything at the moment, can't sleep sometimes, it's so painful. Sorry you are suffering too. 💐

It's a soggy new build mess with no plants, But it is a blank canvas I suppose.
I'm going to start small with a lavender hedge up the front path and maybe some sweet peas along the fence.

I feel that numbers 6 & 7 would go a long way to achieving number 8.

Good point!