Burial or cremation?

[GutsyShark]

Apologies for the morbid thread! Was at a funeral today which is what brought it to mind.

Would you rather be buried or cremated? I’ve a will and letter of wishes that says no preference but having thought about it think I’d rather be buried.

That's what a lot of people do in the UK too - lots of cemeteries have special areas for cremated urns to be buried with smaller headstones/placques.

Natural burial for me. Cremation is not good for the environment due to the extreme heat of the process.

Cremation all the way, and scattered in the Thames. I want to be a small part of the rich history of the city I was born in and love so much.

I had DH cremated, but compromised with his family and let them inter the ashes in their family plot. I didn’t really want to as I know DH had a mild preference for his ashes being scattered at sea, but his dad was very upset about the idea of that and I knew DH’s overriding wish would be for nobody to be upset, so decided it was less traumatic for me to sit with my discomfort around it than FIL to be hurt. But I do wish DH had recorded his wishes somewhere so the discussion was entirely moot. My main takeaway from being widowed young is that every adult, no matter how old, should write down their wishes for after death. It makes things so much easier for those left behind.

DP wants his body donated to science which I think is lovely, too.

DP wants his body donated to science which I think is lovely, too

I have read somewhere that the most common use for female bodies was practice gynae exams for trainee doctors. Put me off a bit.

Would they mainly do proctology exams on male corpses I wonder?

You have a say in what happens to your body if it is accepted.
I attended a cadaver lab a few years back as part of ODP studies. We had a Q&A about it beforehand. Donators can specify body parts (if you only want to donate a toe, you can), and what can and can't be done to them.

How interesting! DP is a total pragmatist though and couldn’t give a hoot what they do to him!

Cremation is normal to me. My aunt & uncle were buried together and although their adult kids live nearby, they don't go to visit often so there's a lot of upkeep involved. What if they move away? I would rather be portable in an urn or scattered somewhere I liked to go.

Composting….ive seriously said for years that I would prefer to be composted, most people laughed but I was adamant! There’s probably a bit too much fat on my bones to make good compost but I hope someone can come up with a similar solution!

Domestic Facilities management has two ideas for me.

There are issues with one though as we are on three weekly bin collections now and knowing her luck I will die in a heatwave the day after bin day like the chickens used to. We do have a big bag of road salt though.

Either that or she will put my books on the patio after my sons have taken what they want, soak them in diesel & stick me on top.

Neighbours might complain about the smoke and smell but its a one off.

My friends mum had applied and been accepted at medical school / hospital for science .
When she died and her daughter informed them , they didn't want her as they had enough .
So she was cremated after for years telling people she was off to xxx hospital for research !

I'm going to be cremated and scattered in a wood that is owned by my oldest friend. My two cats ashes will be added to mine first.

I think freeze drying would be the way of the future. I know they were looking into it at one point. Freeze dry and shake to powder. Less toxic than ashes.

I want to be cremated, which is more to say I don't want to be buried and my grave left neglected and unloved like my cousin's grave. Her mother is dead, her sister will never visit it and I visited it at the beginning of covid being well aware that I would likely never visit it again, I washed the stone and polished it and put a bunch of flowers in the flower holder and wondered if anyone will ever do that again.

You can be cremated and still have aa plot. My grandparent's have a headstone. They are not buried under it. They are in various tins.

I can’t decide. I have this fear of not really being dead and in the cremation furnace. And also not really being dead and buried alive. My nan died a few years ago and was buried in the same grave as my grampy. My dad told me his coffin had collapsed. I don’t know how he knew and didn’t ask him. Either way I can’t decide and will probably leave it for my kids to decide for me.

Coffins collapse after about 6 months its perfectly normal.

My oldest had just turned 6 when my mother died, (two generations of late parents) we were in the chapel waiting for the service to start and he piped up, should we put a shovel in with her in case she came alive again.

Might have had some interesting explaining to do to the crematorium about the fire extinguishers exploding when my dad was cremated.........

That’s completely normal. I helped my uncle dig my grandmother’s grave, and she was the sixth person in that grave.

I want to be composted.
After the wake everyone can take home a free bag and put me on their roses!
Or if they live in a flat and don’t want it, just leave me on the pallet display outside the nearest B&Q.

https://terramation.uk

I really struggle with the the idea of cremation - it feels like an act of such brutality and to be seems to contravene all the laws and taboos around not desecrating a body. I absolutely want to be buried, though I realise space is limited and that that causes its own problems.
Most people I know who’ve been cremated have been buried as well though - either because the plot to bury an urn is cheaper than a full burial, or because they were buried a long way from wherever the funeral took place and it was logistically easier. I don’t know many people who’ve been scattered or whose family have retained the ashes themselves (and presumably that causes difficulties too once you have several relatives lined up…)

I want to be cremated and scattered on a lovely Scottish beach, I have one in mind, it's my happy place

I want to be cremated and then I want part of my ashes going on my daughter's grave, part on my brother's grave and then I want the rest of me to be at home (as my favourite place is home).

However, I do keep telling people I want to be turned into a teabag

Maybe I should write in my documents that I want to be turned into a teabag (my favourite drink), the teabag put into a hollowed out Alice In Wonderland book (my favourite childhood story and we also got engaged outside Penmorfa, the holiday home of the "real" Alice and reading is my favourite pastime, and then the book placed on the shelf next to a photo of or beautiful dogs (my favourite creatures - one of whom is snoring like a warthog next to me right now)

Some religions such as Islam and Jewish ban cremation . Also travellers prefer burial. Older catholics like to be buried too , so there will always be a demand for burial.

For some people cremation is just so final as if the person never existed once the ashes are scattered .

I probably will be cremated as the thought of being trapped in the dark wet earth with worms going through me creeps me out .

Cremation scares me as I am worried I will
Know about it and feel pain on some level . Silly of me I know but I guess it's a common human fear .

I like the sound of this .

Cremation is not a new invention. They used to be funeral pyres; countless people were given the sendoff that way. It's just a lot cleaner, safer and more efficient (not to mention less stinky) to do it in a furnace.

I'd like to have a direct cremation. I had thoughts of having my ashes scattered somewhere but didn't realise that there were rules about this (and not always good for the environment) - can anyone clarify what is allowed?