Is your male alter ego a mumsnet ick ltb?

[GauntJudy]

Here's me as a man...

Single dad, middle manager. Spends weekends at home, sees his mum a lot. Gym 3 times a week. Personal hygiene OK although flossing routine could be better. Drives 15 year old car. Clean toilet, messy kitchen, shite cook. Doesn't believe in hobbies, instead I'd talk about tv, books and music.

Am I a catch?

Haha brilliant! Yeah an overweight 50 year old man, with grown up DCs still living at home full time, failed entrepreneur scrabbling around for a minimum wage job, probable ADHD, averse to cleaning, stays up til all hours watching TV and then moans about being knackered all the time. Bit obsessed with sex. Nightmare really!

Oh dear. Middle aged man, fond of a fluffy dressing gown. Lives next door to his mum. Owns a wearable sleeping bag. Morning routine begins with poop scooping the cat litter box. How bout it?

Love this. Strong dose of self awareness needed. I'm definitely in LTB territory

Early 40s professional. Loves his kids but doesn't spend enough time with them. Works late during the week. Tries to make it up on the weekend but more often than not ends up skivving off to the golf course, pub or the occasional stag do. Ultimately means well but can be so irritable and moody that living with him is a PITA.

I'm definitely a cocklodger!

Badly paid, do-it-cos-I-love-it part-time job. Partner's salary covers house, holidays and all bills. I claim to be unable to manage more hours or I'll become ill (I tried and did become 'ill'). Mental health problems on top of that. I should be kicked out to live with my parents.

Run for the hills everyone!

Mid 30s, has a child live with them full time. Crazy ex who isn’t on the scene. Lot of debt but managing it well, works full time and a bit lazy with housework. Quite vain.

I’d warn a friend off me 😂

Well I am solvent, can pee “within the bowl” and have my own teeth…
I’m a bit of a catch!
🤣

Middle aged, over weight, not very affectionate to partner but always kissing the dog instead.

Mid 40s, senior professional but average wages. WFH but has loads of downtime to go to the gym or laze around the house. Rarely cooks a family meal (because everyone is so fussy and rarely around at the same time), will throw a duster around the house once every couple of months.
Spends a lot on grooming, a real mid life crisis of fat to fit like there's some young hottie to impress.

Early 50s, slim and relatively fit though crap at keeping to fitness regime, lively, laughs a lot, interested in a lot, does a lot of interesting stuff, good heart, goes to bed early, two kids.

If I am honest, I think I am quite a catch!

Ha ha hilarious thread op.

middle aged, spends all time on work and kids min left over for partner ( if I had one) . No personal grooming. No patience. Tired all the time. Spare time spent on mumsnet. Skint. Obsessed with hearing bills and humidity in house- so boring ! I am definitely not a catch.

though of course if we were actually all me we would think we were gods gift despite all our shortcomings so on that note

my alter make ego says … I am absolutely amazing and any woman should be so grateful for just the fact that I am willing to be with her 😂

Recently single 42yr old.
Is a good dad to his teenage girls, and gets on ok with the exW, still thinks he’s 30yrs old, has decided to ‘grow’ his hair (has one of those weird hair bands) and do some half triathlons or half iron man.
Has bought some High Protein cookery books and a load of crap from My Protein as he wants to be the Best Version of himself. Is kind and polite :)

Heating bills! Not hearing bills

Onto my second business after first one failed. Deluded 43 year old who goes to pub twice a week even though has two small children. Has loads of female friends. Awks

51 year old, look older than my age, hate cooking/cleaning but do it, sigh a lot, like comfy clothes and boots, easily distracted, talk out loud to myself all day, lost interest in most things, likely to have severe eyeball drift over your shoulder when you're talking to me, social skills diminishing by the hour, gets DC's names wrong quite frequently, mostly wonders what the point of anything is any more, occasional flashes of positivity and energy but increasingly rare...
Form an orderly queue...

38 year old married dad of 3.

Decent professional job and income. Rarely cooks and leaves most of that to his spouse who is a far better cook. Never done any DIY or so much as mowed the lawn in the last 20 years...spouse does all that too. Likes reading and watching sci-film films and shows.

😂

Thrice divorced. Teens still at home, hates cleaning so pays the kids to do it. Works too much for not enough. Basically lazy.
Yeah, I wouldn't fancy me!

Pampered prince here.
Doesn’t have to worry about earning money. but does so when the desire takes hold.
Devoted to wife and kids.
Amazing at cooking mediocre at housekeeping.
Fun, appreciative, loving, educated.

49 year old, never married but 2 failed long term relationships. Describes DC's other parent as 'crazy'. Adult DS who lives with me and no sign of moving out. Smelly, elderly dog who my life revolves around. A bit obsessed with sport and have 'hobbies' that keep me busy 4 nights a week. WFH and spend my day talking loudly on Teams calls.

Plus points - good hygiene, own teeth, reasonably fit, can cook and clean.

Can we swap lives?

Mid 50s, out of shape, workaholic. Often working away from home with hard-drinking co-workers of the opposite sex. Forgetful, self obsessed, bad with money, soft with his teenage kids but short tempered with partner. Quite the catch….

30, single, boring job but makes more money than he knows what to do with. Very few friends and doesn’t have any real hobbies. Reasonably fit and good looking, but is just a bit boring..

40's, one child at home, lots of hobbies, good at organising and housekeeping. Hate cooking.
Autistic, caring and quite attractive for age. Likes a lot of time alone.

Probably I'd be fed up with me.

Great thread!
Mid thirties, in a relationship. Obsessed with the dog and will regularly have food fads which means he eats the same thing for lunch for weeks on end. Owns own house but its teetering on a bit scruffy - house is decorated nicely but on the cheap and it can't hide the fact it needs money spending on it. Has expensive and elaborate hair routine that still results in completely unremarkable hair. Loves dressing up but is in an oodie and slippers 90% of the time. In good shape but awful posture. Decent wage but no money so constantly on Vinted. Funny, devoted and practical but can be a bit bossy and over-researches everything.

Single 55 year old, rented home with adult son living with me. Reasonable job, non driver, 1 cat. Decent teeth and personal hygiene, slightly messy house, well read, bit of a hermit but can occasionally be persuaded out. Likes art, books, music and a decent pub quiz. Considerate of others but not a doormat.

I'm not a bad catch 😉