Is your male alter ego a mumsnet ick ltb?

[GauntJudy]

Here's me as a man...

Single dad, middle manager. Spends weekends at home, sees his mum a lot. Gym 3 times a week. Personal hygiene OK although flossing routine could be better. Drives 15 year old car. Clean toilet, messy kitchen, shite cook. Doesn't believe in hobbies, instead I'd talk about tv, books and music.

Am I a catch?

Single parent , asd, hopeless at housework and organizing but manage to hold down a professional job and look after two young children.

If I were a man there would def be a ltb

Cocklodger here. A bit lazy. Spends too long looking at his phone. Has got lazy over cooking dinner. Lifts weights everyday and spend way to long fiddling around with luscious long curly locks. Cries to much and might be in a rage over something that seams important at the time.

52 years old, very small in stature so would have a napoleon complex if male. Also have very tight naturally curly hair (which is nice as I wear it long) but would make a fella look like an 80s heavy metaller. Not overweight.
Lives alone in a flat with two cats and works in IT. Likes Star Trek, doing jigsaws and reading.
What a catch 😀

60s. Solvent. Good laugh. Enjoys cleaning and food shopping and looking after partner and sons. Toilet is cleaned and bleached every day. Loves cats with a passion

30, tall, claim to always be stressed out from work and doing horrendous hours but often found on MN on the bog. Live with DP, get up early to do the cleaning (anal about it) and then moan about it. Enjoy cooking, complaining, and sex clubs. Male me is definitely an ick !!!

Omg.

Fat, 40ish man, not worked for nine years as a SAHP. Messy and expect to share housework. Decent cook. Hobbies mean two nights out a week and four weekends away a year, plus two lads holidays and two days out with a female friend.

He is a tall women of 50 with a decent figure and a good head of hair. Works in an office on average wage to support partner and kids. Does half of housework, terrible cook, tidy. One weekend away a year with a friend, the odd night out. Sees her mother frequently

5 years ago I would have dated me and thought I was a catch.

Now? Fuck no.

Pretty much a complete disaster in every single aspect apart from mortgage is paid off just as well because all my modest income is spent on childcare and I have no pension

Single and sadly very likely to be forever now, I can't see myself getting back up to the standard I would be looking for in a partner

I’d be a man in his 40s, very high achiever academically but zero ambition to progress in career and working at a level way below his ability/earning potential. Cooks you great meals but is untidy around the house, can’t drive and does no admin. Sarcastic, a bit arrogant, pedantic. Not very sociable but gets drunk when he does go out. Dismisses ‘gut feelings’. Will happily go a couple of days without a shower if not going anywhere. Keeps getting tattoos. Doesn’t want kids and wouldn’t date someone who already had them. He might want sex on a first date. Sometimes uses porn. He’s a football fan who shouts and swears at the television during matches. Massive reader and would have a drawing of his favourite book character (his ‘Book Girlfriend’) as his lock screen instead of a photo of you. Interested in dark shit like horror, crime, grim historic events, death. Doesn’t like talking about emotional stuff. Only wears black. Dresses a bit edgy. Doesn’t want to be around you all the time and has a low threshold for neediness. Thinks it’s perfectly OK to follow hot women on Instagram.

On the plus side, this bloke is affectionate and gives you loads of compliments and is appreciative of what you do for him, looks after his appearance, is supportive and encouraging of your hobbies, would never cheat on you, has mates you get on with, makes you laugh all the time, is kind and sympathetic when you’re ill or unhappy, doesn’t drama or lose his temper, good at solving practical problems and makes an effort with your family. So he’s not a total dick.

Emotionally stunted, poor communicator terrible at getting presents for people, doesn’t like to crumple the sheets or make a mess re. sex but otherwise very untidy. Watches a lot of telly, competitive, shouts a lot during University Challenge.

Clean toilet - good
15 year old car - good
sees mum - good (as long as not mummy's boy)
gym - good
books, films and tv - good
being in work - good
flossing at all - good
single Dad (depends on prospective partner)

Doing okay all in all

100%

• Commitment-phobe
• Flaky
• Easily bored
• Selfish
• Has lots of friends of the opposite sex
• Needs a lot of 'space' and 'distance' from the relationship
• Won't spend time with your family

Everyone would be screaming LTB.

I'd date you OP! 🤣

Middle-aged, overweight, works part time in a job that is underpaid but fulfilling. Toxic mother. Messy. Fond of wine and books. Known to ignore other humans when being fond of wine and books. Spends too much time on their phone. Trauma bonded with sister resulting in lengthy phone calls once a week. Hates cuddling. Love language is feeding and being fed.

Hate to say it, but male me is giving off cock lodger vibes - “creative type” barely scraping a living in their chosen field and living with much better paid spouse working long hours to pay for everything…

The good stuff:

• keeps a decently clean and tidy house
• does 80% of the child care
• does 100% of the cooking and is good at it
• always remembers birthdays and anniversaries and saves up their little bit of income in order to treat their spouse
• takes care of themselves and still quite fit and attractive
• loyal, affectionate and good company
• gets on well with in-laws

I take it back, I’m a catch in either sex!

Doubt I'd be much of a catch either:

Short
Grumpy
Always stressed
Obsessed with a job I actually hate
Leaves all the hard bits of child-rearing to the other parent
Manages to spend less time with the kids than the other parent who works longer hours and has more jobs
Non-affectionate
Rarely bothered about sex
Can't be bothered to shave
Will always expect you to drive
Will expect you to give up your food if it looks better than mine

Very very busy and important at work so can't be at home for bedtime and some weekend hobby too, so not much time for the kids until they are interesting.

Solvent, slightly slack with the high points of hygiene. Always had a cleaner but quite critical and shouty.

GSOH.

Rather fat. No facial hair. Balding. 50s. I'm definitely a catch IMHO.

No kids
Separated
Living with a MUCH younger partner
Only shave when I cba
Love football
Not really family orientated

Jeez. I'm defo a throw that one back!

I am also kind
Fun
Extremely loyal
Easy going
Considerate