When did you go from Miss to Ma'am in the eyes of strangers?

[purplepenletter]

At what age did you stop getting called miss, girl, hen (for the scots) and started getting called lady, ma'am and so on? Yes I know people should be saying woman and Ms and that Miss and Mrs typically refer to your marital status but obviously most people don't use that language yet.

It's quite rare to be called either these days as people know it can cause offence. I think now it's likely to have people referring to you as 'sir/miss/madam'. I don't think I'd mind miss, but madam does make me sound old!
I guess maybe I'm not great as it's usually 'darling/mate/man (if obviously a man) or just 'erm, hello?'

I get love, honey, darling (I work in a shop in Yorkshire, it's very friendly and I don't mind at all) and, on occasion, mate. I also sometimes get 'sir' because I have short hair, despite my robust bosom and female name badge.

It’s usually Madam in UK shops isn’t it?

I guess since my 30s. I do remember hearing a little girl refer to me as ‘that lady’ when I was about 25 and being very surprised..

I don't think people serving in shops call me anything. I certainly don't recall ever being called Madam. I'll pay more attention from now on.

A long time ago (1960s/70s) when I was at school, we called male teachers sir and female teachers by their full title i.e. Mrs Brown, Miss Francis). To call a teacher just Miss was considered rude and a bit uncouth. When I went to work in retail (John Lewis but all department stores etc were the same in this), we addressed customers as Sir or Madam, whatever age the adult customer was. Formal but it was useful, as if you remained polite and they were "difficult", they would be much more likely to try to be more civil themselves. I went on to work in the NHS and now private sector. If I am trying to call a patient back who is on the way out and I don't know their name, etc, I will still use Sir etc. In answer to OP's real question, I was first called Madam in the polite older lady sense (apart from occasionally in shops) when I was in my late 40s, I think and it made me feel quite middle aged.

I hear "ma'am" a lot from staff in call-centres who could be based anywhere, including areas and cultures where terms of address are more formal than we are used to in the north east of England. Offline, you get "pet" a lot and "my love," which I'm fine with when it's cab drivers and baristas. A restaurant manager not far from where I live managed to make it sound creepy and unctuous. I'd have preferred him to stick to ma'am.

It's pet up here in Newcastle and covers all ages from childhood to ancient 😃

And Pet covers every situation as well as all ages as in ...That's amazing Pet to Well that's very sad news Pet 😃

The GP of my 20yo has just messaged me as 'Miss Dizzy'.

I would say I am rarely called Miss these days. I had an older male consultant call em 'Madam' a couple of years ago . Also as PP said, it's the sort of thing that I have occasionally heard in upscale restaurants and hotels (not that I frequent these places these days).

I don't think I have ever been called ma'am. It's usually stuff like Lovely or Love of occasionally Missis.

Madam at a push (40s), never ma’am though- I think that’s reserved for the royals & military only?!

Once someone in a restaurant ( with ESL) once called me ‘mylady’ which I thought was wonderful ☺️ & made me feel like a medieval princess for a few seconds.

I visit schools and always get referred to as Mrs X. I think it is a Scottish thing to use Mrs for adult women instead of Ms. I much prefer it. My garage always calls me Mrs X as well.

The only time I’m called a “lady” is when a mum is telling their child on a bike or scooter to “move out of the way for the lady” on the footpath.

I still get called Miss and I'm 57

As soon as I moved to Alabama.

All adult women are called 'ma'am' and all adult men 'sir'. All female teachers are addressed as Miss (surname) and all male teachers as either Mr (surname), Coach (surname), or occasionally just by surname.

I did like that my DC's friends would call me Miss (my first name) which I thought was a good bridge between calling me Mrs Maggot or by my first name.

I’m in Scotland and never been called ma’am or hen, but in Dundee I get ‘pal’ which always surprises me.

I live in the Southern US, so I have been Ma'am since about 18 or so.

I remember the first time I was called "madame" in France, rather than "mademoiselle". It was the summer after my A-levels, just before I turned 19. I was mortified!

But, on the other hand, when I was still teaching I was very interested to note how children's behaviour changed markedly towards me when I got married. Classroom management was suddenly easier as Mrs, which I didn't expect at all.

I like it when my kids’ friends call me ‘Mrs DC’s name’ it’s cute.

I got a shock the first time being called the lady eg ‘let the lady through’ said to a child, or being called’woman’- I find it hard not calling my friends ‘the girls’ or not saying ‘girl’, which is ridiculous because I’m 44!!!

I didn't get that but one child was worried that the TA was going to change her name as well - Reception class. As an invigilator, after I retired, I was just Miss as they didn't know my name - except for the students I'd taught in Reception.

I'm not sure... but I had a meeting with a load or senior soldiers and police yesterday and they all called me Ma'am. I felt ancient. I'm in my 50s... but I don't think I've ever been "ma'am"ed quite so much.

I’m 29 and I live in Italy and I get called signorina and ragazza, ‘Miss’ and ‘girl’ respectively.

I’m not married but I think I’ll be pretty disappointed when my butcher starts calling me signora (Mrs) 🥲

In the last three months or so. More times than I'd like, I've been called madam or ma'am, when being addressed entering a shop or at a restaurant. I am 39 and it shocked me. I asked a couple of people not to do it, as I think it's irritating. I don't feel old enough to be addressed as an 'older' woman (my own bias, admittedly).

"hen" (for the Scots) - seriously?
We don't all live in the area where "hen" is used thanks. Nobody here calls anyone hen 🙄

I've never heard a female referred to as "Ma'am"