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Original poster

When did you go from Miss to Ma'am in the eyes of strangers?

110 replies

purplepenletter · 04/02/2025 22:23

At what age did you stop getting called miss, girl, hen (for the scots) and started getting called lady, ma'am and so on? Yes I know people should be saying woman and Ms and that Miss and Mrs typically refer to your marital status but obviously most people don't use that language yet.

OP posts:
GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/02/2025 08:03

Never been called Ma'am (rhymes with ham)

Have been called 'Marm' by a Royal Navy nurse (I was a patient). Quite liked that!

In my 20s ish I remember being startled that Mums would tell small children to 'mind the lady' rather than girl.

Again 20s, went to Spain and discovered I'd morphed into Senora rather than Senorita.

canyouletthedogoutplease · 05/02/2025 08:07

Only ever been called Ma'am overseas and I don't ever recall being called Miss by anyone.

PenneyFouryourthoughts · 05/02/2025 08:10

I live in London. I get called "love" or "mate". Very occasionally "misses". Never ma'am. 😂

Catandsquirrel · 05/02/2025 08:14

Ma'am only by military colleagues.

I was still senorita in Spain recently (late 30s but no kids. I was glad of that after an awful year!).

WattleTyler · 05/02/2025 08:16

I get called ma’am in the US. By store clerks, generally. Never in UK.

Doggymummar · 05/02/2025 08:16

I don't think those words are used in the UK. Certainly not to me.

RampantIvy · 05/02/2025 08:17

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 05/02/2025 06:35

I have never been referred to as ma'am, and haven't heard anyone else be either!

Same here, except when on holiday in the USA.

I'm in Yorkshire and sometimes get called "love".

shellyleppard · 05/02/2025 08:18

@BeaAndBen i think all American's call ladies ma'am..... know my American cousin's definitely do

Dearg · 05/02/2025 08:19

Used to get called Ma’am in the states, in my 40s I guess.

Glad to say we Scots don’t use ‘hen’ where I live.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/02/2025 08:20

My coffee shop is frequented by a lot of pension aged regulars so it’s a daily occurrence that I’m referred to as Miss.

The younger staff think I’m ancient though.

I’m 41 Grin

Seeline · 05/02/2025 08:22

I was called Ma'am by one of DSs teachers - he was a lovely young man from South Africa so I assumed it was a form of address used there. He was being polite and respectful and I rather liked it! Mist teachers seemed to address my as 'DCs' Mum which seemed almost rude to me!

mistymorning12 · 05/02/2025 08:22

AI post?

AtticusCatticus · 05/02/2025 08:25

I’ve occasionally had “madam” in an upmarket restaurant, but all the diners were sir or madam.

Around here it’s generally Love, My Lover, Mate or M’Dear. Occasionally Sweetie. All gender neutral.

caughtinalandslide · 05/02/2025 08:28

Never been called ma’am in my life. Or indeed Miss.

Scottish (north east and central belt) but now live in County Durham. Hardly ever got hen even when living in the centre of Glasgow.

I do sometimes get ‘my love’ at work - suspect that’s a local thing.

CaptainMyCaptain · 05/02/2025 08:28

AtticusCatticus · 05/02/2025 08:25

I’ve occasionally had “madam” in an upmarket restaurant, but all the diners were sir or madam.

Around here it’s generally Love, My Lover, Mate or M’Dear. Occasionally Sweetie. All gender neutral.

Bristol? Where I live now it's 'duck'.

LadyAddle · 05/02/2025 08:31

I was addressed as “Toots” the other day in Edinburgh - I’m seventy plus, haven’t heard that for years.

FabulouslyFab · 05/02/2025 08:36

Not Miss or madam, but I realised that I had gone up a notch when in the supermarket someone started giving me grief and a member of staff stood up for me and made sure I was okay. Then the next day there was snow in the ground and one of the managers at work gave me his arm from the car park to the office door!
support much appreciated both times!

CandidRaven · 05/02/2025 08:41

Huckyfell · 05/02/2025 07:34

Its "luv" up north

Yeah no formalities up here, never heard anyone say ma'am in my life 😂

HotCrossBunplease · 05/02/2025 08:54

Dearg · 05/02/2025 08:19

Used to get called Ma’am in the states, in my 40s I guess.

Glad to say we Scots don’t use ‘hen’ where I live.

Wow, what a snob you are!

The use of hen tends to be class-related rather than geographical in the parts of Scotland where it is used. My granny on one side was much more working class than the other. Both grew up in exactly the same town but only the one from the less privileged background used it.

Turning to the OP’s question, I’ve never been called Ma’am in the UK and was first addressed that way in the United States when I was over 40 with a child in tow. Was “Miss” on every other trip before that.

In France I still feel odd to be “Madame” now (I’m 51) because I lived there as a young woman and in my head my French-speaking persona is still young!

NeedWineNow · 05/02/2025 09:19

I've only been called Ma'am by Americans - a time that has stuck with me was at New Orleans airport, the immigration guy was extremely handsome and said 'Ma'am, if you'd just like to stand there'. I just melted and then turned to look at DH behind me who grinned broadly and said 'trollop''. Yep 😁😁😁 It was around 20 years ago that we were there so I would have about 40/41.

Dearg · 05/02/2025 10:04

HotCrossBunplease · 05/02/2025 08:54

Wow, what a snob you are!

The use of hen tends to be class-related rather than geographical in the parts of Scotland where it is used. My granny on one side was much more working class than the other. Both grew up in exactly the same town but only the one from the less privileged background used it.

Turning to the OP’s question, I’ve never been called Ma’am in the UK and was first addressed that way in the United States when I was over 40 with a child in tow. Was “Miss” on every other trip before that.

In France I still feel odd to be “Madame” now (I’m 51) because I lived there as a young woman and in my head my French-speaking persona is still young!

Show quote history

I am from Aberdeen, I promise you, we don’t use ‘hen’ .
But then there are large parts of Scotland away from the Central belt.

If that makes me a snob, then so be it. Both my grannies were very working class, never used it. ‘Wifey’ now, that’s commonly used.

user04 · 05/02/2025 10:05

Im assuming the OP is American. It isn't a term we use in the UK other than for the queen

DappledThings · 05/02/2025 10:07

Don't think I've ever been called either. Not addressed anyone as Sir or Miss since leaving school nearly 30 years ago

Brooomhilda · 05/02/2025 10:08

I was about 25 when a mum told her child to "mind that lady behind you" on public transport. I was shocked, I would have expected to be called "that girl" and always had been up to that point. In my thirties now with grey hairs so no one is mistaking me for a miss any more...

HotCrossBunplease · 05/02/2025 10:08

Dearg · 05/02/2025 10:04

I am from Aberdeen, I promise you, we don’t use ‘hen’ .
But then there are large parts of Scotland away from the Central belt.

If that makes me a snob, then so be it. Both my grannies were very working class, never used it. ‘Wifey’ now, that’s commonly used.

Show quote history

I never disputed the fact that you said “hen” was not used in your area. In fact, I suspected you might be from Aberdeen as I knew it was not used there.

I said it was class-based in the parts of Scotland where it was used .

My point being that your nastiness about those who use it is an insult towards a social class, not just some sort of lighthearted joshing aimed at those from a particular area.