Ever been accused of something ludicrous at work?

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Inspired by a current thread.
I was once accused , by another regional admin, of leaving to do the school run every Friday. She emailed the GM and cc'd me in. All because I wasnt avaliable on to take her call on 2 occasions.
I didn't get into trouble because -
I was office based in sight of our GM.
My DC were both in Uni at the time.
The reason I wasnt at my desk was because this was the era of manual tape computer backups and 3pm on a friday was when the secure storage came to collect them.
...and as it turned out SHE was the one sneaking out early !

Started a new job was told by the head office manager that everything in the fridge is for everyone's use.
Break time I got out a carton of orange juice.
Next thing Shirley was screaming across the room that I am a thief as SHE had purchased the cartons.
No reasoning with her by the manager or me.
In the end I walked out to the shop and bought a pack of 3.
Came back and threw it at her desk and told her that if she ever called me a thief again me and her will have a big problem.
After 2 days I brought a bullying claim against her. It turned out she was a bully but other people were scared of her.
After my claim others came forward she was moved to another building where she only lasted a few months as they wouldn't put up with her attitude.

Maliciously creeping up behind someone working at a computer screen to make them jump..for my own amusement.
It was part of a four page list of my poor behaviours going back over several years...

I was accused of being unfriendly. I was part time in a separate office to everyone else. Very young, shy working for a very weird guy. I wasn't introduced to anyone else. He used this weird pre windows system. He sacked me for being unfriendly.

For drinking 3 coffees in a short amount of time. I was getting a migraine and caffeine helps stave mine off . Bitch so glad I'm away from that vile team. Interestingly it was tge junior members of the team that were truly vile to me

Yup. Was off work one Friday as I was having a small op done. Only the boss knew as my colleagues were really gossipy.
It was around racing season and one of my colleagues joked… watch Peggy she won’t be in tomorrow it’s Ladies Day at the races!
And of course I wasn’t in the next day.
Another colleague went above my boss and said not only had I been at the races, her husband had taped it on the telly and they had both seen me in the crowd.
It actually got taken seriously. My boss then told me my appointment cards/letters weren’t enough as evidence, they wanted a full report from the surgeon to prove when I’d arrived, time in recovery etc.
I’d had a D&C, was there early but was having a general and didn’t go down until 3. I was really poorly after and they kept me in overnight.
It was horrible having to gather all the evidence, and the colleague in question wouldn’t have it.
When I got my first mobile phone, before anyone else around had one, she then reported I’d used it in the street on my break. As I hadn’t been well and had lost a bit of weight she did suggest to a few colleagues I might have a drugs problem and was ordering them on my phone.
Again, I got pulled and had to show then my phone records. I was ringing my dad every time!
I got another job.
Saw the woman in question a few years ago at a funeral of all things and she was prodding her husband and pointing. I wanted to shout, Sheila I’ve ordered an eight ball for the after party, are you in?!
Awful, awful woman. Wouldn’t mind I’ve never even smoked a cigarette.

I was a manager of quite a large, culturally diverse team, never had any complaints and many compliments. Until I was trying to performance manage this one guy (for consistently getting terrible results, far below anyone else in the team) - according to him, I was racially targeting him. So many accusations of me shouting/swearing at him - in person, over the phone - completely fabricated. Backed up by friends of his who worked there, who even wrote witness statements!
I was suspended and it was only finally resolved when I pointed out one of the instances of me swearing at him and making racial slurs (backed up by multiple friends!) happened on a day I was on annual leave 😬

I found out AFTER a 25-year career that one of my first bosses had blamed me for a colleague's alcoholism. No idea how he thought I'd done that to her or why he was so invested in the health of her liver. He was an influential 'name' in our industry and, it turned out, blacklisted me with every recruiter.

I only ever got my jobs by direct recommendation, never the really juicy roles you had to compete for - all those 25 years, I thought I must be really shit at interviews!

This also made sense of a later boss's conviction that I was a secret drinker. He had me followed at lunchtimes, got the admin staff to search my desk drawers ... he was a total weirdo in any case, but socialising was a big part of the job so I couldn't see what his problem would be. That first bloke must have somehow made him think my drinking was much more evil than anyone else's 🤨

Years ago, putting £436 worth of diesel in one go into my Astra 🤦‍♀️ I was called in to an official HR meeting. When I pointed out that a) that very obviously wouldn’t fit in my fuel tank or anything other than an actual artic and b) the vast majority of petrol stations have security cameras, they looked further. And discovered my fuel card had been cloned.

I worked with two other people and one of them (A) was close friends with the boss (B). A had a very weird sense of humour and liked practical jokes.
When B was on holiday for a week, A decided to wallpaper her office with waste paper from the recycling bin. Goodness knows why, but she thought it was absolutely hilarious.
On B's first day back, A was on annual leave. B stormed into our office throwing things down and looking furious. She slammed the door but didn't say anything. She obviously thought it was me and our other colleague until A texted B to own up.
B then had to pretend she found it funny. Bunch of weirdos!

-I didn't arrive at work 2 hours earlier than my contracted start time, to meet clients they have booked in early, but never bothered to ask or tell me about it!

-When I resigned, I was told it was a good thing, because of ALL the sick days I'd had. I had 1 sick day in 12mths, because I'd MC'd on the bathroom floor and needed the following day off for a scan. I never told them these details nor did they know I had been pregnant.

-They refused to pay my final salary, as claimed I'd left the office early to attend their Christmas party. I was actually an hour late, because once again, they'd booked clients in after my finish time! My door swipe and CCTV corroborated this!

-I would have loved to see their faces when I sent a letter from my solicitor that if my final wages weren't paid in full, I would be taking things further 😆

I've just had sight of an email where my senior director offered my services to aborger department on a six month trial at no extra charge.

And the prick wonders why I'm a little unhappy

I once had another manager - not my direct manager but she liked to insert herself into situations that had nothing to do with her (also a known pain in the arse - there is more but I cannot say here as outing) imply I hadn’t been working hard enough one day. She asked for a breakdown of my time.

I gave it to her in enormous detail. I included every phone call I received (lots), every email I sent. My lunch break. Every time I went to the toilet. Every single work task I did with times. Every time I spoke to another staff member. If I blinked I wrote it down. I even included making this list for her as a task. It was a very very long list.

Then I sent it to her, ccd in my manager and the divisional manger. I don’t know what happened after that but she never said another word to me directly.

For unrelated reasons I quit about 3 months later (as in she wasn’t the reason but she didn’t help the situation).

She sent me an email profusely thanking me for all my hard work. I ignored it.

I once mentioned to my line manager that I was feeling a bit isolated at work. She responded that I always looked busy so people didn’t want to bother me. I asked her to put that in writing as I’m sure had I stopped looking busy she would have had something to say about it!

I was once told by the operating Theatres nurse manager that it was unprofessional of me to knit in the staff canteen, during my unpaid lunch break!

Also - a male manager who accused me of spending too long in the bathroom. Once a month. I gave him a long lecture about the nature of Menorrhagia and the realities of dealing with heavy periods and it was never mentioned again.

I was accused of stealing "a large sum of cash" from the safe at the hotel I'd been working at for a couple of months. I did not have a key for said safe. The shift where this theft supposedly happened the hotel manager had done all the banking, whilst he explained the routine to me. I would literally have had to just reach past him into the safe in order to steal anything!

It was just a shitty excuse for the owner to fire me. I'd been chatting to another employee about how I wasn't too happy with the job as the owner had lied to me about the hours. When I took the job I'd been promised an equal split of day/night shifts. After I started I was only ever given nights and when I raised this the owner told me he never would have promised me day shifts as the other receptionist has children and obviously can't work nights!

I wasn't too surprised to see the hotel on that Hotel Inspector programme on the telly a few years later! he didn't take on board any of the good advice he got and ended up going bust!

That I was responsible for not doing X very important thing, it was my sole responsibility and I'd completely fucked things up in 2004 (say) by not bothering to do it.

As is common, this was done via email sent to all and sundry.

Time for a cheery Reply All with the emails where they were solely responsible for it (and being an utter dick throughout). And a note to say that, by the way, I wasn't employed until 2014 so wasn't entirely sure how it could have been my responsibility a decade before joining the employer.

When I was very young and a junior employee in my first office job an early announcement went out by email that one of the big Directors had stepped down. By the time I got in at 9am the large picture of him had been removed from the wall. Manager came up to me demanding to know where it was, I said I wasn’t sure but presumably one of the senior team who gets in early had removed it after the announcement. She then proceeded to make me stand up whilst she searched my desk drawers for the pic of this middle aged man who looked like Ian Beale as if I’d stolen it to stare at ffs

Same, shit company I posted about up thread. They had business cards made, and asked why I never used them.

-They'd put my home phone and personal mobile number on them. I didn't have a work phone!
-They'd spelt my 4 letter first name wrong
-Plus my job title was incorrect.
I was never aware they were being made and of course never got to proof read them. 🙄

I was accused of falsifying an expense claim because I took an A road to our head office instead of the motorway, which was about 2 miles longer.

Not an accusation, but in the same job, told by my boss's PA that I had to be contactable at lunchtime, even when driving (this was before hands-free kits were really a thing, and I wasn't provided with one). I told her I wasn't making calls when driving (I very rarely left the building at lunchtime anyway).

In another job, accused of typing too loudly.

My manager pulled me aside and accused of being hostile because I didn't come off the phone to a client to say hello to a colleague who walked in. I waved and smiled at the colleague.

My friend was accused of spying for a competitor. Taken very seriously.

I was a SENTA and was brought in to work 1:1 with a child that had complex behaviour issues, he had 3 other SENTA's in less than 12 months as he was a real handful. I stuck with him and after 6 months the teacher pulled me aside and had a right go, she said i was making him look to good and that i needed to be far more negative about him. The HT and the teacher wanted him removed to a specialist school. I asked if they wanted me to lie about his behaviour and i was told yes. A week later the Head from the specialist school came to assess the little boy, the teacher wound the poor wee soul up until he kicked off just in time for his assessment. I handed in my notice that day.

Thought of another one. A company was trying to get rid of me and one of the things I was accused of was “not looking as though I was listening”.

I asked if they wanted me to concentrate on “looking as though I was listening” or actually listening. They don’t have an answer for that.

I now think it possibly could have been that I don’t always make a lot of eye contact.

As time moved on more than one person/friend has queried if I am possibly autistic - Ive realised I do tick a lot of the boxes for autism in women. Lack of eye contact is one.

Breach of confidentiality after I congratulated someone in HR on her pregnancy. I had heard from someone else, but somehow I had breached confidentiality. Never ever understood that one!