Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

When is it time to just embrace the grey?

116 replies

MeinKraft · 01/02/2025 20:44

I know the proper sensible answer is ‘whenever you want to’ but I don’t know if i want to. I think grey hair looks really cool on other people but on me it just makes me look even more frumpy. I’m quite fed up that i’m not even 40 yet (but on the cusp of it) and i suddenly have a head full of greys and arthritis and haphazard periods 😅 I thought this was all about 15 years away!

Anyway. Should i grow out my greys? Keep dying them and risk looking daft? What did you do with yours? I’m not talking about few nice silver streaks, i’m talking a full head of grey and the non grey bits are mouse brown 🤔

OP posts:
AuntyMabelandPippin · 01/02/2025 20:45

I'd have foils and make your hair look a bit blonde.

WibblyWobblyBoat · 01/02/2025 20:47

I’ve grown mine out and am getting loads of compliments every week, and I’m saving so much in hairdressing costs (and box dye!!).

BellaCiaoBellaCiao · 01/02/2025 20:48

Never.
I will be a blonde till my dyeing day.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Beauty
UtterlyOtterly · 01/02/2025 20:50

I love my grey hair, it has gone a good shade of grey and I can't imagine ever dyeing it.

FeyreandRhysand · 01/02/2025 20:51

I’m having the same conundrum, am only mid 30s but am using root touch up every 3-4 weeks to keep the grey at bay!

My hair is naturally super dark though so even though I have lots of grey, I don’t think I have enough to go blonde / lighter yet.

GrumblingRose · 01/02/2025 20:52

I will go out without make up but my vanity is my hair . I'm not going Grey until I have to .

LouisvilleSlugger · 01/02/2025 20:52

I have 2 friends that have gone grey (and evangelical) but they both look far older than they are and whey-faced.

I’m just too vain to think I could do it. Maybe when I’m in my 70s I’ll not care as much.

RosesAndHellebores · 01/02/2025 20:54

I think it depends on how the grey comes through. I am mid 60s and although only about 25% grey, it's patchy, mostly at the front where it's white and looks bloody awful. It does nothing for my natural "wild rodent" that always needed some highlights to lift it.

The highlights have morphed into a light brown colour with blonde, and darker blonde highlights.

Original poster
MeinKraft · 01/02/2025 20:55

AuntyMabelandPippin · 01/02/2025 20:45

I'd have foils and make your hair look a bit blonde.

Ive heard of people doing this but for some reason it never occurred to me! i’ve always been brown and i have a bit of facial redness now and then 😬 but maybe a cool blonde would be ok?

OP posts:
Original poster
MeinKraft · 01/02/2025 20:57

RosesAndHellebores · 01/02/2025 20:54

I think it depends on how the grey comes through. I am mid 60s and although only about 25% grey, it's patchy, mostly at the front where it's white and looks bloody awful. It does nothing for my natural "wild rodent" that always needed some highlights to lift it.

The highlights have morphed into a light brown colour with blonde, and darker blonde highlights.

See mine is all over and the colour takes ok but the bits round the temples and in front of my ears… like my side burns (or whatever their are called in women) are pure grey and it grows through so fast and is so obvious!

OP posts:
tobee · 01/02/2025 20:59

I'm having to grow out my hair dye to go grey as I've developed an allergy to dye after doing a patch test having dyed it no problem for many years.

I'm still not ready because I've been forced into it. I wanted a managed transition. I'm going to a go to a different hair salon to see if they can offer me anything interesting.

Currently I'm occasionally using root touch up spray but it's not sustainable for much longer probably.

KingTutting · 01/02/2025 20:59

I have dark hair with wirey white hairs growing out all over. It’s not nice
I know so many people who get nice streaks of grey. I find dyeing helps get the crazy white ones under control as well

CoastalCalm · 01/02/2025 21:01

I did in 2020 , had a small stroke and found washing my then long hair difficult so had it cut really short and embraced the salt and pepper - always get complimented on it now but I wish I had more grey rather than the highlights

Printedword · 01/02/2025 21:04

I've had grey hair underneath just near my ears since I was mid 30s. I'm now just over 60 and have grey under my fringe and a few natural highlight type greys. But mostly it's dark, especially at the back, including underneath. I only have it coloured about twice a year. Semi permanent colour underneath a bit and a few highlights to warm it up. I tried it natural during COVID and it was fine, but as it's patchily grey, I prefer it just slightly coloured.

Many years ago, I had an all over colour. The main problem was that the hair dresser just kept colouring on top and it got darker and more unnatural.

BasiliskStare · 01/02/2025 21:05

@MeinKraft - I am older than you , when younger really dark brown hair - but started getting white hairs all round my face ( including sideburns 😂) and at the roots. I started off with really really fine ash blond highlights which cover the grey for much longer than a one colour dye. As I have got older I'm a bit more ash blond but at my age the same dark brown which used to suit me I don't think would

good luck whatever you decide

Noodlesnotstrudels · 01/02/2025 21:05

Im 39 and all the hair that has grown after DD2 was born last year is coming through grey. Particularly bad where the tiny wispy front ones regrow. I've decided to embrace it because with two small DC, I don't want to commit to dying / highlights , but I definitely feel like my face is just looking a bit haggard as a result (or maybe as well as?). Ive gone for a new haircut style and going to change my workwear style slightly and hope that distracts enough from the grey for a while!

Edit to add my natutal colour is very dark brown which makes the contrast even worse.

PermanentTemporary · 01/02/2025 21:09

I'm not ready so I have mixed highlights.

The women I know who have gone grey successfully have very, very good haircuts, or they've invested time and energy in their fitness and general health so that they have a glow. Secretly I still think it has aged them.

LizzieSiddal · 01/02/2025 21:09

I too have started having foils after years and years of whole head/t section dyed every 4/5 weeks, I’m now only going in every 3 months for a few foils. I’ve had so many positive comments about my hair, it’s a brilliant halfway house.

BasiliskStare · 01/02/2025 21:10

@Printedword - you sound similar to me - I have dark hair still at the back underneath but the fine ash grey bits cover the grey and don't need doing as often as an overall colour . Not in 30s or 40s but I think as one ages skin tone etc changes so that's why I'm happy to ditch the very dark brown I thought was my colour

Clickedthewrong · 01/02/2025 21:15

I'd say to all those embracing: good for you. The brutal fact is that grey suits women with hair with nice texture, usually thick/wavy/curly hair, a certain type of face, usually young-ish or blessed with youthful looks in their older years.

The rest instantly look 10 years older than they might if they just continued with dyeing. If someone feels empowered or that they're breaking up with societal normals by rejecting the dye, go ahead knock yourself out.

My hair is 80-90% grey and Ive been dyeing it blonde for years. I tried going natural and fuck it for a game of soldiers. I didn't feel great, I didn't see any of those Instagram grey beauties, but hair that no longer allowed for the style I liked because it became soft and went limp no matter what product I used.

So I have just gone be back to blond and at last I feel like myself...

So answering your question:
When is it time to embrace the grey?
Any time or never - if it's something that simplydoesn't suit.

HarryVanderspeigle · 01/02/2025 21:16

I say as soon as it comes through, but I do have surprisingly still colour hair. I got one grey, but it fell out and hasn't grown back yet. Quite a lot of grey in eyebrows though, which feels disproportionate.

Snowmanscarf · 01/02/2025 21:16

I’m a decade older than you and dye my hair (or the hairdresser does). I don’t want to go fully grey yet, but only noticed recently that at the roots, the grey now dominates. Think I’ve been lucky that I’ve retained my original colour for so long.

I remember reading on a similar thread the question, does grey hair make you look old, or do people assume you are older, because you have grey hair?

FlouncyMcFlouncers · 01/02/2025 21:34

I am very dark with black eyebrows. I don’t want to embrace the grey but don’t want to be super dark and looking unnatural forever. What do you do in that situation? I don’t think blonde would suit me, especially with such dark eyebrows.

MabelMora · 01/02/2025 21:34

Nobody can tell you! It's down to you. You might grow it out then take a long, hard look in the mirror and think...nah! Yet X poster on here loves their own grey hair. You're not going to know until you try it. Personally I felt miserable and drab with grey hair, but other people like having it.

BasiliskStare · 01/02/2025 21:37

Sorry just wanted to correct my post to ash blond little highlights not ash grey

@Snowmanscarf - I've cheated by getting the highlights so v am sort of grey but not quite. My natural grey pattern definitely made me look older - but then I am older since I had all over dark brown hair 😃I think - and I would wouldn't I these highlights are better than the natural grey and more flattering than me getting a blocky all over colour - but each to their own.