Who's "your person"?

[BigJanette]

I've been ill so have been comfort watching the earlier series of Grey's Anatomy.

“You're my person” is a line from the TV show Grey's Anatomy that describes the close relationship between Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang. The phrase conveys the idea that someone is there for you, no matter what, and that you understand each other without needing to explain yourself.

My person (outwith of family) is a friend I've known for 23 years and counting.
We're both very silly but we "get" each other.
She called me at 6.30am last week to ask which colour carpet should she go for?
I, still more asleep than awake, said "What???! When do you need to decide by?"
She said "Ermm... this morning".
I know, it's a definite "you had to be there" moment but it just illustrates the fact she felt absolutely fine with calling at that time about something so inconsequential 😄

Do you have a person?

"My person" died. I try not to think too much about it.

The question wasn’t posed to you, it’s not your insight I was looking for

There are 100s of possible autistic traits and each autistic person will have a subset of them and within that each trait will be at a different point on the scale.

What I was talking about in my original post is sometimes called “justice sensitivity”. It just so happens that this is incredibly heightened in me. to be honest, I see it mainly as a good thing. I can be relied upon to be honest and fair.

My two best friends.

Exactly the same as mine (including the ex husband).

And she answered it. You're not coming out of this well.

Is it completely out of your control?

My half brother.

Shouldn't work - he is 10 years younger than me, I only lived with him for 7 years and thought he was a spoilt little brat.

We can tell each other anything. He is probably the only person on earth I can tell the whole truth to, no holding back.

I have a best friend of 50 years, a very close friend who I see every day and a circle of super supportive friends.
But none top my baby brother😁

I can hold it back but only at great cost to myself. It starts off as a burning fire within and can eventually lead to self harm. Masking is very stressful.

Jesus. It’s really not a good look, questioning whether an autistic person is actually just intentionally rude.

Well some NT people are intentionally rude so I’m sure there are ND people out there that are intentionally rude as well or can you not grasp that concept.
Are you saying that every time a ND person is rude all NT people should ignore it and just accept it, I for one wouldn’t be doing that or accepting that from anyone ND or NT
That is my stance and I’m absolutely entitled to my opinion

No it was definitely much more than that.

It’s not that I’m not accepting it, it’s that when the actual autistic person tells you something that is their own lived experience, we should really just believe them.

It’d be a bit like challenging my barely verbal stepson for ignoring you. He’s not ignorant, he’s autistic.

My concern is that in the world that we live in today that NT people will be forced to accept some ND behaviour that is rude / nasty / hurtful and if you don’t you will be ostracised.
I obviously wouldn’t find an non verbal autistic person rude but I wouldn’t be tolerating all ND behaviour just because they are ND, I think it would really depend on the situation
If I came across someone ND in the work place that was obviously able to do the job ( which in my case is quite complicated), I wouldn’t accept continual rude behaviour from them just because they are ND, why should I have to suffer because of a condition that they have?

There’s a difference between ND behaviour, and chosen behaviour.

One of them we should tolerate, the other we shouldn’t.

For example, in our house we accept meltdowns but not tantrums, or choosing to yell to get what you want.

I’m honestly trying very hard to be explanatory and not just assume you’re discriminating against the ND.

My cousin. She's more like a sister and has been there for me through thick and thin my whole life. I don't know what I'd do without her.

DH was my soulmate, DP is my best friend and the person I want to be with all the time and DD is the love of my life: but my cousin is my person.

I’m honestly not being discriminatory but If you came across a continually rude ND person in the office who was being rude to everyone and making a lot of people feel uncomfortable, do you think people should have to tolerate this just because they are ND? I for one honestly wouldn’t and would unfortunately have to raise it with directors / HR, I understand It would be a difficult situation but I think If someone was being disruptive and causing others discomfort ( ND or NT) I would have to raise it

Friends wise - my person is the girl I met aged 12 on our first day at secondary school. We've never once had a falling out and have known each other for 40 years. In the last few years we have been in touch a lot more often and seen each other more - currently I live about 250 miles from her but soon will be about twenty minutes away.

Heart wise - my teenage boyfriend. There will never be anyone else for me

Me ..I am my person. There is no one I trust more. I know my faults and I know totally when I am ridiculous but I do rely on my judgement. It is very rarely off.

I understand. I went to ring my Nana yesterday. She died in 2005 and it always feels like a shock when I realise again she's gone. Happened twice just this month.

My DP for sure. I used to have a friend who I thought was my person (and was for a long time) but since they got into a relationship they've literally just.. gone from my life.

My son is 23 and video called me. I knew immediately something was up but didn't want to start with it (give him chance to say hello etc) so I told him about what I'd done that day. Then asked what had happened, what's wrong? He said how do you know anything is wrong? I said I'm your mum...he just smiled as he got it.

My DH for sure.

Also my adult eldest son. He and I just 'get' each other. I'm as close to my other two DC and love them just as much, but there's a special bond that connects me and my eldest. We think so much alike.

Oh, and my only sibling, too. We don't see much of each other, we live in different countries, but because of our shared history we are always there for each other and we can tell each other anything.

My husband. We share equal load and not sure what I would do without him.

My Best Friend. She pulled me back from the brink when I was on the verge of suicide. She listens to me without judging and I know I can talk to her about absolutely anything, and she gives the best cuddles ever. I would honestly be lost without her.