Kelsey Parker (Tom Parker from the Wanted's widow) pregnant

[TonyMammoth]

What are thoughts on this? I read this morning that Kelsey is pregnant by her new boyfriend who's a tree surgeon called Will. He looks a really decent bloke from the article I saw. She was in the news for starting a relationship with a man who had been in prison for manslaughter 8 months after Tom's death and this man seems to be the total opposite, seems they have been together since some time last year.

Do people think it's too quick? Tom's parents have said they're happy for them, but is that being diplomatic because of the possibility of later down the line not being able to see their grandchildren.

None of anybody else's business, of course, but it seems they want it to be people's business when these stories are posted all over the internet and they state they are "going public".

Interested in thoughts and if they are the same as friends with children that I have.

relationships and grief are always complicated. And nothing more so than losing a spouse - we choose that person out of many and there are others that we can choose. As a species we are not suppose to be alone so when we lose a spouse replacing them makes sense it is what we are programmed to do. Everyone will have their own time line with moving on

losing a family member - parent/sibling is different (losing a child is so different) you cannot replace then - biologically we cant and I think that sometimes that gets muddied with the idea that a spouse will feel the same.

His parents will never ever replace him of course they won’t. But to expect a young woman to live alone for the rest of her life is unrealistic and wrong

I'm so sorry for you loss, I can't imagine.

I agree and am sure that spouses would want their loved ones to be happy again.

OP when you read your first post back do you not see how dripping in judgement some of it is? Perhaps something to reflect on.

I’m always surprised at how quickly widows move on. It’s taken me far longer to get over break ups.

I’d ask for this to be taken down. It’s revolting to start a thread on a ‘normal’ persons life inviting judgement.

You need to think about what kind of person you are.

That said she seems to say her MIL is happy for her and pleased and they have a good relationship and she will have a relationship with this baby as well

Do you not think that if it's something you've seen happen a lot, there might be a reason for it?

It makes sense psychologically that the unthinkable void the loss of a partner causes is something that could make people feel desperate to fill that void again and therefore make them jump in when someone helps them feel good again and also make relationships move more quickly. It's completely understandable.

I also think that loss, especially at a young age like in this case, reminds us all how short life is and encourages us to jump in and go for it rather than second guessing too much.

Nobody knows how they will react to each instance of grief in their life before each happens.

It's weird that widows seem to get a free pass to move on as quickly as they want on MN even if young children are involved. If this was a separation she would be getting hounded.

Personally I think 'good for her' she deserves happiness, but I also think that for people who have separated too.

It's not for anyone else to judge, if she doesn't want to invite comment maybe time to stop grifting off of him though.

I think it's a reasonable discussion but OP worded it clumsily. All good wishes to Kelsey Will and the children.

Get a life

You don't know the people involved, and never will

Snide little posts like this do no one any good

Statistically most men meet someone else in the first year and remarry within 2 years. Most women take at least twice that. Not only has her husband been dead 3 years, he was terminally ill for some time so she did have the chance to prepare for the idea. It’s great that she’s met someone who makes her happy. My friend’s “DH” moved in with another woman 6 weeks after she died.

She of all people knows how short life is. I wish her every happiness.

I remember Tom being diagnosed in lockdown, and wasn't she pregnant with her youngest child at the time? So it's been five years.

Gosh why invite judgement on this? We don't know them so don't give it more than a seconds thought.

Shes putting it out there, so people will comment. I feel for the children, they’ve lost their dad, now a new man has moved in and a new half sibling will appear soon. If this was a woman on mumsnet, she’d rightly be told to slow down, get to know the new man more, don’t introduce the kids to soon, don’t move him after such a short time and don’t rush into more children, rightly so because they would be thinking of the woman and children’s welfare.

Saying that she heard Tom saying take the wedding ring off and move on, she clearly feels she has to justify it. She obviously doesn’t, but people will judge when she’s announced it, because it all seems very soon.

I think it’s nothing to do with you and you need to ask yourself why you feel the need to talk about an ordinary woman who is a widow and who hasn’t made herself a celebrity to be discussed in such a way.

Shameful thread.

This is in really poor taste. This woman has been widowed and is now pregnant and shouldn’t have every aspect of her life analyzed by random busy bodies on the internet.

I’ve reported it and hope others have too.

As you've said and myself and others have said, on Mumsnet your arse would be handed to you.
I also feel for the kids that's the first thing I thought when I saw the article this morning.

She is selling her story to the Mirror ffs. It makes it everybody's business and doesn't suggest she is someone who wants to be left alone by the press. Call a spade and a spade. And yes he has been forgotten very soon.

On the back of this thread I googled Kelsey. She describes herself as a public figure on Instagram and Tom's Wikipedia entry states she is an actress. I've only heard of her through Tom's illness and death. Another instance of women being defined in relation to men.

Personally I think it's too soon.

Hasn’t tried to make herself a celeb..lol

As a member of the Widows Club, I can assure you there is no handbook stating all of the rules and regulations that other people seem to require to validate your membership of said Club.

You don’t get over the death of a spouse - you learn to exist with it. It’s living under a constant cloud. If Kelsey Parker is at the point where she feels a sunnier outlook is waiting, then more power to her.

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm4174050/

She's had an acting career before marriage and children.

I was widowed young with 2 small children. I say Good For Her.
Her life now doesn't tell you ANYTHING WHATSOEVER about how she felt about her husband.