Random sentences in your life

[SadSandwich]

I don’t want to pluck parsley tonight

context: husband wants to cook a meal with said fresh item and I just don’t fancy doing this job.

Memorable one was 'How the hell am I going to get curry out of the pool?'

Context: Morning after a pool party and some knobhead had chucked a plate of curry in the pool the night before.

"No tricky maths questions at the table"

Context: a fight had broken out at dinner over the answer to a maths question.

What was the question?!

I can't remember, but they were all primary age so it won't have been that complex. It was more a ban on competitive maths at the table.

Aha! I have insane Bolt!
Oh nuts, I wish I had Ed Milliband..

An actual conversation between my boys in 2012

'Right, no more drawing on each other's teeth'. Kids were playing dentists yesterday and gave each other braces with coloured pencil.

Facebook reminded me of a brilliant one the other day:

DS, don't hoover baby DD, she doesn't like it!!

He was 3 and she was 6 months!!

"I've wrapped the jam sandwiches" between DH and I means the same as "I've done everything". It started out before DD birthday, when I had felt DH wasn't pulling his weight. I had listed everything that I'd done and the sentence was "and I've wrapped the presents and made the ham sandwiches" which we have now condensed to "I've wrapped the jam sandwiches".