Am I weird or normal?

[JaneFondue]

I met 2 old friends today. They told me they insist on their husbands accompanying them to every medical appointment. Neither seriously ill. Just routine appointments.

My husband doesn't accompany me to routine appointments and vice versa.
They thought this was seriously uncaring and callous.

Who is right?

God, I never take my DH. Maybe I’m weird too?

No I’d go alone.
My partner is my partner.
Not my parent. Or my carer.

I think it's pretty normal to handle non serious medical appointment alone.
I do, and all my friends do.

Oh come on you know the answer OP.

Out of interest, did you ask them why your husband not accompanying you to appointments that you don't want him to accompany you to, makes him callous?

Yeah, no... DH doesn't need to witness a smear

I usually do all appointments alone. However in the spring last year I was really quite mentally unwell..my husband came with me to two appointments to see the GP and he did a lot of the talking. It was so lovely after the next appointment to go on my own and talk to the doctor. I really needed someone with me that time

They said we have different love languages. Which is true, I guess.

It depends on ages - over 65 and regular appointments or an ongoing or serious health condition then I could see why a partner might want to attend or why someone would want someone to go with them.

For a regular medical appointment for a fit and healthy person - my DP would laugh if I asked him to attend. He wouldn't want to come to my appointments and I wouldn't want to attend his either.

My husband came with me to a private appointment, just so if there was an option to have an expensive operation we could both discuss it with the doctor.

I didn't even invite DH to any appointments to do with pregnancy. He did come to the scans but that's because he asked to.

I don’t think I’ve asked someone to go into the room with me to a medical appointment since I was about fifteen? I might ask a friend or DP to be with me if it was something major like suspected cancer, but otherwise I much prefer to go alone! If it’s for HRT, back pain, bloods or whatever why would I want a giant man-baby looking hapless in the corner of the room? 😆 (I’m far better than DP at talking to doctors and so on anyway.)

When both a close friend and my mum both had cancer treatment I went in with them — for moral support for my friend, and I didn’t really speak; for my mum I asked the clinical staff questions as otherwise she gets a bit flustered and finds it hard to remember everything. But both were having quite serious treatment and don’t ask me to accompany them for routine appointments.

You know that it’s unusual. Pretending not to just makes you sound silly.

For a serious health condition, I would certainly go. Not for a routine blood test.
DH works very long hours though so ai am quite used to going on my own.

I am not sure. Because a lot of people are very anxious these days

Validate me Mumsnet, validate meeeeeee.

You know the answer already, come on now.

My friends 25 year old DD was there too and she said she expected any future boyfriend to at least ask if she wants to be accompanied to the GP. She has PCOS. She says it shows affection.

I’m quite capable of getting through a medical appointment on my own. I think women who take their husband along to chaperone are neurotic.

I suppose if I wanted validation I could have put it in AIBU for traffic. There were 3 of them saying the same thing.

Normal! I don’t even take my DH to my psychiatrist appointments. It’s my business!

Certainly not, does no-one want any privacy any more?
Would never occur to me to expect or to offer for a routine appointment.

No, Dh will only come if it’s a serious appointment, but not for routine appointments.

God no, there’s absolutely no way I would ever have wanted ex-DH at a medical appointment. He was bloody useless. Didn’t even particularly want him there when I gave birth but a general appointment, definitely not.

Maybe ask DH for guidance?

You are normal, they are weird - unless there is some religious or cultural reason for them having to be chaperoned by their husband, as it were.

No, no cultural reason.