Am I fooling myself? (School run & distance)

[december2020]

I wasn't sure what topic to put this under, so opted for Chat.

The first choice school I'd pick for DS is about 2.2 miles away.

Maps says it is about a 50 minute walk, 14 min bike ride and 10 minute drive.
DS will be starting reception, so 4 years old turning 5, so he has little legs and walking is boring.

We've got one car at the moment and due to work patterns between DH and I, there won't always be a car available for school pick ups and drop offs

On car days, parking will be very limited. DH can carry on to work when he's doing the school run, for me, I'd need to drive back home to then walk to the train station.

On non-car days, I need to get to the school, then carry on to the train station to get to the office. DH takes the car due to his work and hours.

We are looking to get another car, but need to have a back-up plan till then. Even so, car days for me aren't ideal with the back and forth and then walk to the station. It may even be faster for me to go to the station straight from the school.

Am I fooling myself that we can make this work? What would even be the best commute pattern? DH and I both work full time and have no family nearby to help, so it is solely on us.

I think this would be the hands down absolute best school and choice for DS, hence why I am seriously considering it.

What do you want, a sticker?

It isn't a 2 mile cycle, it's 4.4 miles, twice a day. Including working, and general life. Plus probably other exercise that they actually enjoy

Never mind walking I wouldn’t even consider doing a 2 mile journey to school on a bike, electric or not.
It may be just about ok on a nice sunny day but if like it was today where I live at school finishing time - wet, cold and grey it would be a very miserable journey and all the more so if the route you will have to use is a busy road with hills to negotiate. Don’t underestimate either the number of items you may need to carry. Things like a lunch box, rucksack and book bag will need to go somewhere
If you are set on the school that’s two miles away I think you need to accept that a second car is part and parcel of your choice.

I really wouldn't do this. You are setting yourself up for lots of hassle. Playdates will be difficult. You will struggle in the winter particularly. Use your local school.

I wouldn’t choose a school that far away. It you have your heart set on it, make sure you have a car. Too tiring and time consuming to manage otherwise.

I agree. As a once off you could walk for 50 minutes with a child but not twice a day for 8 years.

Could you use a childminder before school? Drop your DC off and then head straight to work?

My kids walk 1 mile to school; 25 minute walk. I feel that’s long enough and in the rain, it’s bloody miserable.

Will you really expect a 5 year old to walk in the pissing rain for 50mins? Will you take a spare uniform? What about yourself? You’ll be drenched then go straight to work after a 1.5+hr walk?

Not a good idea Op, it won’t work unless you can get a second car before September.

I would be doing the local school. It doesn’t matter if the other primary school has better facilities, 50 min walk is a joke!!

I would strongly advise against it, primary school is 7 years. There and back twice a day 5 days a week for 7 years is a lot

Can you move house so you're closer to school?

Electric cargo bike (or good old pedal power) sounds most sensible. No parking issues and you can go straight to the station after drop-off.

I’d go for the closer school. He may be more enriched at the other school, but he also might be more enriched for having happier and less tired parents. Honestly until you’ve started doing the school run every single day, twice a day, week after week, you can’t truly understand what a drag it becomes and that’s with one not that far away!

No way would i do this, honestly on a good day where the stars align and you're out of the house on time, traffic is fine and you manage to get back in time for your train then it'll still be a pain but workable. On the days where you're running late, the weather is atrocious, you have to pick him up from school at short notice as he's poorly, where you feel poorly but he's fine, where there's evening school things, when there's play dates, when there's been an accident on the roads to school and you're stuck in traffic you'll hate it.

Unless the school 10 min walk away is truly truly atrocious I wouldn't entertain it.

And @TheGhostOfTheYearYetToCome - Yet parents manage in The Netherlands where most cycle to school/work.

Thank you everyone!
I think you have cemented what I thought deep inside.

This would only work with a car, and even with a car it'll be hard.

On the days DH does school runs, he can continue with the car to work. On the days I'd do the school runs, even with a car, I'd still need to drive back home and then walk to the train station, which could easily be 55-60 mins from leaving the house for drop-off to getting to the train station.

Why can your husband not do all the school runs since it is on jis way?

You'll find out soon enough that when it pours with rain it only does it at school run times 🤣

Seriously though, I'd not do that in a million years, I'd not even consider it as a school as the point of primary is to be local and local friends so playdates are easy, impromptu drop ins even better and then year 6 finding their feet in being more independent. Not forgetting the missed lunch box or money for book fair you need to drop in as you've muddled up your days.

Fast forward a few years when you potentially have two kids at the school, one day one may be finishing normal time but the other may have a club. So you're going to be hanging around or back and forth.

Sounds like you are creating a situation guaranteed to increase stress levels in what will already be a busy / stressful house with both parents working and setting yourselves up for constant crisis management - child is ill / car breaks down / bad weather ice / snow tight schedules to catch your train / train cancellations.

I'd go for the closer school. His friends will live closer to you as well so it will be easier going to friend's houses after school.

The fact you think this is in any way comparable shows you have no knowledge of commuting in either circumstance.

I don’t think you could do it without a second car tbh. We moved house when DS was in reception, previously we had to drive as we lived in the next town and I thought walking would be fine at our new house. It was a 30 minute walk and it became clear quite quickly that it wasn’t sustainable, especially as there was a stretch along a busy road with a narrow footpath and I also had a younger child in a buggy. We reverted to driving unless it was a particularly nice day and moved him to the school 5 minutes away in Y1 which was so much better.

Just get a cheap 2nd hand car on Autotrader for £800-£900. Why wait?

Also take into consideration walking in all weathers; wet rainy days where ds arrives at school soaking wet and the few hot days we get where he'd be walking home boiling.

A friend has a NT child who she pushed to school in a pushchair until she was 5 as her dd genuinely struggled with the less than a mile walk.

Definitely not considering walking!

Dh can't do all drop offs and pick ups due to his work shifts. Some days he doesn't clock off till late in the evening and some days he has night shifts so isn't back home till late morning.
He works in the emergency services so needs a car as to try to get to different locations with all his work gear that are poorly accessible with public transport would be a nightmare.

I think it's clear this would be a very stressful and therefore not recommended school option.

Is it private